ALVIDA 2006!!!

Today is the 31st of december--- the last day of 2006...
its amazing how time flies soo fast sometimes...it juss feels like yesterday tht 2006 had started .
probably life moved on soo fast ths yr tht i dint hav time to stop n think about how it was goin...or perhaps mebe i dint really want to.
Thr were times whn it did really go at snails pace ...
thr were times i wished it dint exist cos it showed me thngs i dint wanna see..
thr were times i slashed 2006 rite frm the calender hopin i cud do the same wth it in my life..
thr were times whn i felt i needed therapy to get over depression, to get over life...n probably ppl around me felt the same...lol!!! ..
thr were times i missed it all, terribly...
thr were times i felt life wud never get better.
n thn again thr were times i cherished 2006...
thr were times i was grateful to it cos it showed me a whole new world, ppl who seem to really care about me...
thr were times whn it did giv me some kodak moments (like the time i got my results n was officially dr pri )...
thr were times wch i can actually award "the best times of my life"...
thr were times i actually tested my friends n was very happy to find out tht i did hav ppl who wud love me whtever i am, however i am :)
thr were times i hated myself for not realising tht earlier n promised tht things would change...
thr were times i considered myself very fortunate...now thts a real surprise comin frm me ;p)



so weighing the pro's and the cons, i guess 2006 was a "not so bad" yr afterall...
heres hopin 2007 will be a lot better for all of us...
hope the new yr brings a lot of happiness n joy in our lives n fulfills all our dreams
and as the clock strikes 12,

heres wishin all u lovely people a "VERY HAPPY NEW YR 2007" ...

SMILES, HUGS AND LOTSA NOSTALGIC MOMENTS TO CHERISH,

WITH WARMEST REGARDS N BEST WISHES,

ALWAYS,

PRI...

tagged again! :)

I finally decided to get bout completing the tag sush tagged me with...
sorry for the delay sush, but things hav been soo hectic and ridicuously crappy the last few days, tht i'd started to find no time to breathe , let alone take up tags frm friends :(
neways here i go!
the rule is to fill it up n pass it along :p
hmmm...interestin! lets see now

3 SMELLS I LOVE :
---the smell of fresh air early mornin (esp whn i stand on my terrace)---its the mornin freshness intermingled with the heavenly fragrance of the "parijatak" tree in my backyard ...mmm its wonderful!
--- the mild smell of fresh cologne or aftershave on a guy, obviously.shhh! dont get any bright ideas :-/(pls note the word MILD here...cos ppl who drown in cologne or perfume juss turn me off..ok ok im hard to please...so???)
---the smell of hot chocolate whn its brewing...i lurrvveee it!!

3 SMELLS I HATE
---the smell of petrol.yikes! i cant stand it,i almost hav an episodic sycopal attack every time i stop at the petrol station :(
---the smell of perfume mixed wth sweat...sigh! some ppl hav this utterly stupid notion tht perfume tends to mask the stench of a sweaty body on a long day...welcome to reality guys! it juss enhances it :-/
---the smell rather stench of the freshly preserved (wth formalin) cadavers in the "human anatomy" lab wch we were subjected to in the first yr of med school...thinkin bout it, dint get irked much bout it thn (talk of olfactory adaptation :-/) but now everytime i pass the lab, my olfactory adaptation goes for a toss n makes me hold my breath till i reach the othr end of the corridor

3 JOBS THT I HAD IN MY LIFE
well, err...i dont think i qualify to answer this...as i havent really changed jobs n considerin the profession im in, dont think thts possible either (not tht i want to):)
would part time activities fit in this criteria...
if thn , well...---i did take up this contract wth a teen mag i used to suscribe once...the deal was to write articles n poetry every month...but thn lazy as i am stopped it soon enough (blame it on the homework in school and my denial to refrain frm othr extra curricular activities to commit to writin)
---For seconds, could bloggin be a part time activity??? heehee...not tht im too regular at it either but yet! feels good to think of it as tht :p
But thn again, i dont think any of this can qualify as jobs...so the question remains unanswered i guess :(

3 MOVIES THAT I COULD WATCH OVER N OVER AGAIN
---"when harry met sally"
---"steel magnolias"
---"mann" (not tht i love it per se,but dunno why, still watch it everytime its aired on tv :)...though i find it utterly crappy n unrealistically beautiful to happen in this insensitive world)
actually thr are a few more i wudent mind watchin time n time again, they being "anjali", "anand","DCH", "a beautiful mind" etc...*ok ok dont look at me like tht, i know the tag is juss for 3 movies* :-/

3 FOND MEMORIES
---school days
---*blank*
---*blank*
sorry!! no fond memories hitting me ,the stage im at right now...

3 JOBS I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE
well frankly speakin all my dream jobs revolve juss around one profession---the one im in rite now...so sometimes i dream n aspire to be
--- a cardiologist
--- a psychiatrist *dosent seem too unrealistic considerin tht ive done a lot of "self therapy" and "friend councellin" n am quite reputed in tht regard* ;p
---a neurosurgeon (sigh! everyone can dream cant they ??:-/)

3 THINGS I LIKE TO DO
--- THINK... a lot bout nethin n everythin in general ...though thinkin has never helped me (or anyone else they say) till now, but cant seem to stop it! :-/
---TALK -love to yap endlessly...can spend hours speakin in the company of friends though nowadays only a very few priveledged souls hav the honour of hearin me out :)
---WRITE...thts one thing wch i wudent want to giv up ever.my passion to write, its the only medium wch helps me express the things i cant say (dont be soo surprised!!an incessant chatterbox can hav a "speakin out" problem too :) )

3 OF MY FAV FOODS
--- surmai fry.(wth rice n yellow dal)..most wud consider it a very simple meal..but i lurrrvvve it ! :)
--- food my mom makes (though sometimes i opt for chinese to break the monotony) :p but yet, tht remains my fav...my mommys bestest :D
---fried modaks...am a equally big fan of modaks as i am of ganpatibappa :D
sob! but i get to eat thm only once a year :(
but polish off as many as im allowed to to make up for it ...heehee ;p

3 PLACES I WUD LIKE TO BE RITE NOW
---farr away on a "no man's island"...juss feel like goin someplace n never comin back :)...
i would if my parents promised not to track me down :-/ hmph!!!
---the tribal village of honolulu...would want to make friends wth the cannibles thr .
---seattle :) .want to giv someone a surprise

3 THINGS WCH MAKE ME CRY
---the past whn i was let down bigtime by friends n the fact tht it was the ppl i trusted the most
---readng entries frm my personal diary wch make me look like a fool even today n posts i'd posted once upon a time on some long lost blogs of mine
---some songs wch bring a tear to my eyes even as i haer thm today.

phew! tht was pretty exhausting...a lot to write n a lot to read i guess eh?
neways was fun :)sometimes u need tags to remind u a lil more about urself than u tend to remember ...
n now finally,
I TAG:
WHOEVER WANTS TO BE TAGGED ...

cheers n good luck!

my listless mind meanders yet again...:)



I lie awake on my bed,
a million thoughts racing in my head,
The mornin sun, the crack of dawn,
and a pensive thought crosses my mind forlorn.
would u miss me whn im gone?
would u miss me whn im gone?

would i be missed for being a bore?
would i still bring a grin whn im around no more?
would u still think of those pleasant memories,
those lovely times, we'd hav fun galore?

would u miss the things i say?
would u miss me every single day?
would i be missed evening , noon and morn?
would u really miss me whn im gone?

or would i be juss another face,
in life's miserable neverending race,
would u remember me for the times we shared,
those words, those thoughts wch proved we cared...
and though soon again, a new world may be born,
would u still miss me whn im gone??

and yet il'l leave whn i finish someday,
not even me ,in it can hav a say.
At times i wish i could hold on longer,
but guess one needs to be a lot more stronger...

Its destined my friend, the futures not mine,
all i can hope is, ull be fine.
and think of me "sans" the memories sore,
Il'l miss u lots whn im around no more...

*smiles*

bas kuch yaadein!!

As i was rummaging through the closet of my mind, i happened to find this on one dusty ignored shelf :)
.......
...
...

Intzaar mein kshitij pe ankhein bichaye,
na milta hain kisi ko kabhi kinara..
toote dil ki nakaam ummeedein,
na le paati hain kabhi kisi ka sahara..

kacchi ret ka mahel banakar,
basane chali thi main ek sapna,
per ek thandi hawa ke jhoke ne,
chin liya jo kuch tha apna...

aur kahin is toofan mein,
pyaar ke afsaane beh gaye,
magar shikwa hain toh is baat ka,
ki in labo pe unke taraane reh gaye!

Bahut kuch seekha humne,
rishton ki ehmiyat jaan li,
naadan dil ne aisi chot khaii,
ki shabdon ki bewafai pehchaan li!

khamosh dhadkan ne maan li,
jo barson se na maana tha.
dilojaan se apna jise samajhte the,
woh to hamesha se begaana tha :)

woh kya jaane sacchi mohabbat,
shayad badnaseeb hum nahi...
pyaar jaane wahi jo dard mein aansu roye,
yahan toh pal pal hain nadiyan bahii

hamesha se nikli dua e dost,
ki tumhe khushi mile ,had se pareh,
badle mein,kismat ne kuch aisa kiya,
jo koi dushman ke saath bhi naa kare

Pyaar ki ummed jagakar,
bich raaste haath chuda liya,
har pal ummeed ki kiran jagakar,
doosre hi pal rula diya...

khuda na kare, zindagi ke kisi mod per,
agar mohabbat tujhse rooth jayegi,
tab shayad kahin ek pal ke liye,
tumhe humari yaad satayegi...

kisi roz yeh kahani apni fariyad sunayegi,
chupke se aakar, us purane mausam ki yaad dilayegi...
do din ki is zindagi mein ek ranjish sada rahegi,
kisi mod pe hum mile the, yeh khalish sada dasegi!!!

im bakk n tagged !!:)

hey guys, im bakk!!! :)
n its about time i took up the tag tht "la vida loca" tagged me wth...
so here goes: the deal is i hav to write 9 weird things bout me, tag 6 more people n go n comment on each of their blogs [:D]

well u guys mite think the list wud be endless *blush* but ting tong!! the deal is 9 things ONLY...heehee
so starting off,
1)pri is extremely impulsive by nature (most of the times)n thn her ego has made her stick to many an impulsive desicions, even though she regrets making thm sometimes...sigh!
2)pri's weird sense of humour n comic timing wch has put me in many a embaressing situations at time...*blush*...
somehow manage to blurt out the weirdest of things at the wrong(est) of times:D n get everyone in splits :-/
3)pri is ultrapossesive sometimes whn it comes to her friends/loved ones even though she realises its kiddish to be so :-/
3)pri often "jhadofies" lectures on thinkin wth the mind but lets her heart take over almost all the time :-/
hmph!wht r u grinning at???
4)sometimes pri hates people wthout any valid reason or cause...n the same goes for the ppl she likes...she dosent need a reason to love or hate someone ...At times,she dosent even know thm well enough to judge thm but still she feels it her fundamental right to do so...
n thn she forms an opinion n no matter wht likes to believe tht opinion to be right, n whn it turns out to be othrwise, she goes in denial, she frets, fumes, cribs n wonders whr she'd gone wrong n swears she wont judge neone again...but somethings cant be helped n some habits never change...
so she continues forming opinions, continues judging ppl hoping she'll learn to judge right someday ...:)
5)As a doctor, she considers herself responsible for any patients suffering and agrees tht she isnt being practical in thinkin so whn her friends tell her tht...awes at the fact tht sum ppl live upto a 100 yrs whn noone wants thm to while othrs let go soo early in life...wonders at the injustice...justifies "euthenesia", argues with life...n whn she finds thr r no answers,cribs at the existence of such questions :-/
6)*ok this one will come as a real surprise to ppl who know her n her incessant chatter*
pri often locks herself n spends hours all by herself, not speakin a word, not letting a single thought cross her "othrwise soo cluttered up mind" ...nope she isnt dozing off nor is she goin to depression...:) its a normal beautiful day---yep its juss pri being weird ;p
7)She often cries to herself whn she feels hurt n let down...sometimes she dosent even know the reason why she feels tht way...the tears juss keep flowing till some "earthly form" decides to make an appearance n thn!! the "plastic grin" show beings :-/
8)she is extremely shortfused n though she loves to play the "cool dudette" all the time, she's one helluva sentimental fool :-/
also the first one to say "im sorry" if its her fault but the weird part is SHE decides whethr u deserve to know if she's bugged wth u or not...thrll be times whn ull get the "cold shoulder treatment" n u wont even know why.:-/
only plausible explanation : pri is weird!!! :-/
9)she always tells people wht exactly she feels about thm---more so if she harbours bitter/rude feelings...lol!!!irrespective of her friends feelin tht she's a real jackass to be soo transparent in this diplomatic world.!
but her logic is "if i hate thm , they should know i do...why be a hypocrite?"
I think thts cool...a lil weird but yet cool ;p...
so does she!!!

there!!! those r the first 9 weird things bout pri i can thnk bout ...though im pretty sure i or for tht matter you, can come up wth many more.;p
please feel free to contribute ...lol!!!
Now tht ive completed the tag, i wud love to tag ----chand
ekta
anand
ashish
keshi
introvert

*kudos*

happy dussehra

"HAR ADHARM PER VIJAY PAYEN...
IS DASSEHRA PER YEH KAMNA HAIN HUMARI,
HARSH AUR ULLAS SE AAPKA JIVAN SADA PARIPURN RAHE , YAHI DUA HAIN HUMARI"

HAV A GREAT TIME!!:)

heyy folks...sorry, wasent around for a while...
hav been awfully busy the last few days...n itll be the same for atleast 1 week more...life has been pretty hectic...
apologies for not replyin to ur mails n offliners...hav got a lot of blog catchin up to do as well :)
will get bak to blogging in a while...
till thn enjoy the peace n quiet (wth me not around ;p)
Till thn, miss me...
heres wishing all of u a very happy dussehra ...:)
n heyy, happy gandhi jayanti too...
gandhigiri karte rehne ka mamu...SAMJHA??? ;p

"angel"---me??? :)

Its amazing sometimes how a small thing can hav such a major impact on ur life...
Sometimes, life changes wth a fraction of a second n even before u know it ,u r a different person altogether...living a drastically changed life, very different frm the one before the "fraction of tht second"...:)
It never ceased to amaze me how ppl change soo much, how they can make sucha important decisions within a matter of minutes...
would they regret it later?
would they feel they never really wanted it?
would they think of it as a bad deal?
Most ppl who know me would know tht i think with my "heart" most of the times...n maybe thts the reason tht ive succumbed to a lotta bad deals in life...maybe made some wrong desicions too...but never really thought of it as wrong, cos i for one dont like to regret things i'd cherished (once upon a time)...
Besides i always believe tht in life thr r no wrong desicions...they r juss desicions, whethr they r wrong or right is purely subjective...its juss something u think is best for urself n for the others involved in any given situation or circumstance...so where does the question of it being a bad or wrong decision come??
People who dont know me too well think tht i usually listen to my mind...:)
i wish!!!...but thn again,sometimes mebe thts the best thing to do... oops ,sorry--thts me digressing!
So we were speakin bout how a small thing can change lives...
Someone sent me a e-card yest wch said "thanks for being my angel"...well tht did bring about a strange sorta satisfaction, the kind u experience whn someone thinks of u as a important part of life...weirder still i had absolutely no idea how i'd helped this person n why i was being called his "angel" n tht confused me all the more...:(
Later in the evening, i did manage to catch "mr X" online and ask hiim about it...n thn it struck me tht here was a friend who i'd not been speakin 2 for a long time now...he had moved to anothr town n we had drifted apart...no contact, no mails n juss a few offliners once in a while...we spoke about old times and only thn i realised how a small thing said can make such a significance in a persons life...
Whn i asked him bout the angel bit, he reminded me of how i had helped him out whn he was goin thru a bad phase...n tht he could never thank me enough for it :)
More than him being happy, i was happy...was happy tht atleast i'd been of help to someone , someone who valued the lil assurance id given in sucha a big way :)
In life, we all hav such "angels" in the form of friends, who keep helping us spread our wings , helpin us learn to fly, helpin us to be angels for someone else...
N tht set me thinkin,
sometimes we become angels n we dont even know it :)

*smiles*

"LAGE RAHO..."

Today was one of those funfilled, laughter packed sundays...
I started off being the lazy pri tht i usually am on weekends ...no sunday mornin has ever seen me waking up before 9 (wch in itself isnt soo bad is it?)
The day started off with a surprise phone call from a close friend who announced his return which was scheduled not before the coming friday morning!
So tht in a way was a pleasant surprise...and i always like it when people seem genuinely happy to come back home esp from a foreign land...(blame it on the patriot in me)...the rest of the day was pretty fun...
A couple of my friends and me got together to watch the much awaited "lage raho munnabhai" and needless to say , it was awesome...
Sanjay dutt has as usual done full justice to the character and i must say tht guy has turned out to be a fine actor...i always liked him right frm his "saajan" and "khalnayak" days and knew he wud make it big someday...he rocks at comedy n all u guys who hav watched "munnabhai MBBS" will know wht im sayin:)
Arshad warsi aka "circuit" is a riot...n i couldent help wish i had atleast one friend like him in life who wud agree wth me even whn im at my craziest worst and would fight anyone who dare go against me even if i am looney enough to say tht cannibles are strictly vegetarians or uh..um..uh..tht brad pitt proposed his undying love for me or ummm...tht people can actually survive the gobimanchurian i (claim to)cook without makin those funny faces while eatin it or throwin up within 15mins thereafter ...:( sigh!


Vidhya balan looks gorgeous and has proved tht she can not only stun ppl by her "parineeta" appearance but also amaze thm wth her "modern girl" personality...
The rest of the characters ,boman irani, diya mirza,jimmy shergil, abhishek bacchan (in his 2mins role) hav also done full justice to their respective parts...ohh and not to forget our very own "dilip prabhavalkar" aka "bapu" has played a almost real life role of gandhiji...
Apart frm the fun element, jokes n hilarious dialogues, the movie also sends a message through...it speaks bout the gandhian theory of nonviolence and how it is always victorious in the end...it shows how reverse therapy never fails to work...:).
It also stresses on how we people of the so called modern age hav forgotten the small things in life wch actually make all the difference...the respect for elders, the gratitude for our parents upbringing...
Another thing i liked bout the film is how murli manages to bring about awareness about the superstitious crap wch many ppl are soo very easily vulnerable to...(ekta kapoor!! go watch it NOWW)...
Thrs one scene in which gandhiji tells murli to go and tell his lady love who he actually is before she gets to know it frm boman...how true!!!
whats more painful than getting to know ur love has cheated you, is getting to know it from someone else...
But in the end our warmhearted,sweetnatured murli does succeed in getting his lady love---thanks to no other than "bapu" himself :)
In a nut shell---its a awsome movie, hilarious to the core, light and fun to watch...n yess it does keep u askin for more (unlike some movies whr u juss wait n wait n wait for the cliched ending -(wch comes after a good 3and a half hrs)only because u paid 150 bucks...tsk tsk!! bet ull know wht im referrin to...sigh! neways)
This movie managed to get us all smiling ad the smile lasted for a long time even after the movie ended...thanks to the company of friends who kept mimicking circuit's famed"bhai tu tansion nahi lene ka aa" dialogue...:D
The day ended by a long walk on the beach,eating golgappas, bhel and makka at the stalls , and long conversations...
And yess it IS true! its these small things in life which make all the difference!! :)

and life goes on!!

Once again, i find myself at the crossroads of life!!
Why doesent life cease to confuse me even though ive given up on it??
Why does it still come up with new surprises and makes them even more obvious exactly when im tryin to ignore thm??
Why does it put forward choices wch i dont feel like making anymore n yet dont feel like losing??
True! life gets all the more complex wth each coming day n the confusions never cease...
Sometimes i wonder, rnt we even given the right to make the smallest decisions of our lives?? nothin seems to be in our hands, in our control...yet we often like to believe we can do something about it...
A simple arguement brought about many a realisations today...a simple conversation made me think a lot about the way i am wth the people around me...maybe all im doing is neglecting those who caree soo much for those who dont at all...those were the exact words n they stung!! stung bad! ...
because somewhr i knew they might be true!
Asif things werent enough, i was lectured on how i hav this superinferiority complex tht makes me feel tht i cant deserve any good and how i doubt life whn it brings pleasant surprises along...yeah right!!Next il'l be told im crazy n ahud be admitted in some asylum...hmph!
Life these days is all about arguements..how i shud get rid of my trust issues , how i should believe in love,.perhaps also..easter bunny .tooth fairy..n santaclaus too...(no?? err i thought the rest wud follow suit..lol!!)
And thn if ive changed soo much, why do i still care? why does it still hurt to see a close friend goin away? why does it still sting when someone proposes to me n i hav to say tht i probably cant tk it more than a good friendship??why is thr still a probably?? why do i still get misty eyed when i watch those "ultra corny" movies wch always manage to hav a happy ending??why dont i no longer believe in happy endings??? why has my faith in "good things happen to good ppl" dwindled soo much??

Why does it hit when my family says ive changed?? why dont i hav anything to say when ppl ask me for explanations, reasons and advice...even though i did hate it soo much myself once upon a time?? why do i go back to being the old pri,vulnerable, naive,ultrasensitive sometimes n thn have to remind myself tht im not the same anymore n tht ive changed???
AND thn yet again, why do i still wonder bout life...

sigh!
juss goin with the flow, takin each day as it comes...
juss hopin i dont get swept away too far...:)

Best time of the year :)

The loud noise of firecrackers, blaring of loudspeakers, the beating of dhols, the singin of aartis n yet no frowning neighbours,no complaining grownups ---yep folks, afterall its ganesh chathurthi!!:)


karanji's,
modaks,
welcomin ganpatiji into the house,
the gettin together n singin aartis,
girls puttin mehendi on their hands,
the competing for who'll sing the most aartis wthout lookin in the book even once,
the shopping for new clothes,
the "lets see how many modaks u can polish off" record;),
girls in pretty sarees or formal attire and guys in formal kurtas all lookin their traditional best,
goin to see atleast 5 sarvajanik ganpati on the last day,
remindin ppl not to see the moon n keeping a count of how many actually do so juss cos they happened to be reminded...lol *the case of the forbidden fruit*;p
the taking care not to see it urself :(
the putting up of the "matoli" (for ppl who dont know wht tht means, its a part of the ritual for decorating the specified space above the idol wth a variety of fruits...er...cant explain the exact thing on here...still want to know?? come over ;p),
the waiting for the "panchkhadya" n eating it more as lunch than as "prasad"...;p,
the "trying to help mom" attempt n getting kicked out of the kitchen cos u r eating more than wht u r helping make...heehee,
but thn, as usual time flies exactly whn u dont want it to...n before u know it,its visarjan time...:(
I still remember weeping during visarjan whn i was a kid...those days it was more of all the fun comin to an end than missing ganpatibappa not being around...now im highly amused whn my kiddo cousins do the same ...lol!!!
But then i try explainin to thm the very same thing my mom used to explain to me as a kid ,tht "ganpatiji has other people in othr worlds to take care of n he has to visit them too...so no matter even though he is goin back home, he will still be watching us and taking care of us" *smiles*
Tht used to make me smile thn but after a while, i used to torture my mom wth questions like "why cant he tk care of them stayin here at our place" and "dosent he like the food here or MEE??"...now tht i think of it,i was quite a brat!! ;p n i wonder if tht "fishing for compliments" is congenital ...lol!!!
But kids nowadays hav a lot more to ask n their questions never end...so do manage cookin up stories like "he will visit in a day or two" but dont think they fall for it sigh! cos the bawling dosent stop...tsk tsk, makes me love myself even more after lookin at these brats...mom!! r u reading?? ;p never gave u such tantrums did i?? always simmered down after one or two modaks ;)n thn again did really believe in tht theory of urs...
err ..., i still do *smiles*



so ending this post wth lots of sweet wishes for a bright, happy and lucky future...



HERE'S WISHING,

A VERY HAPPY GANESH CHATHURTHI" TO ALL U LOVELY PEOPLE OUT THERE! :)




GANPATI BAPPA MORYAA!!!

MANGALMURTI MORYAA!! :)

TAGGED!!!

Ive been tagged...(for reasons unknown, ive been told not to disclose the identity of the blogger who's tagged me :) shhh...some ppl want their blogs to remain a secret , cant wonder why cos i aint too far behind)
Anyways since i dint have anything better to do, i thought mite as well giv it a try...so here goes :

its called the "I DUNNO WHT TO CALL IT" tag...heehee

1) I am thinking about
mmm...u dont deserve to know!!! ;p

2) I said
"sorry" but am feeling real bad about it.hmph!..it wasent my fault *all defensive*

3)I want to
just run away from the place and state im in right now ...sigh!giving "HAWAI" a thought...
I also want to go bungee jumping frm a height of over a thousand feet *obviously wth my eyes closed*

4) I wish
u wud just go away n stop being curious about stupid questions, the answers to which u cant do anything about...

5)I miss
old times...dosent the title of my blog give u a hint???
besides tht i miss my school friends, the getting drenched in the rains and sitting with the AC blast on, the cutting chai n samosas wch were a famous speciality at the dhaba of our HSSC yrs, the friends ive lost along the way---some for reasons known n some unknown :), the funtimes wth cousins during ganesh chaturthi ,the teenage innocence n gullibility ....well the list is a long one, lets not get further into it...this "tag" is supposed to make me feel better isnt it??? *raises an eyebrow*

5)I hear
a lotta people complaining , whining and cribbing er..about pri *blush* ;p

6)I wonder
have stopped wondering...

7)I need
my pc, my friends........................................................................hmm can i tell u what i dont need instead???


8)I regret
nothing...
regretting something would only make things lose their value n afterall life is never about regrets...n if u live it right (wch is again a subjective thing),u dont need to have any ...:)

9)I dance

err...
sorry ppl, but i have two left feet n thn again lose my inhibitions only amongst close friends (n thn i dance like a farmished cannible)...so u wont normally see pri dancing away to music ;p

10) I cry
gawd!! do i HAVE to answer tht??? *embarressed*
i cry like a baby who's candy has juss been snatched ...heehee...thts whn i want everyone to know im howling err crying i mean :P
At other times---*chooses not to answer tht* :)

11)Im not always
purrfecct!! but almost always ;p

12)I make wth my hands
huh!! whts tht supposed to mean???

13)I write
in a futile attempt to get over life
for fun *sometimes*
because i lovvvveeee to write---period! :!

14)I confuse
myself (most of the times)

15) I should try
not to make impulsive desicions
to stop being as vulnerable
to start acting my age---im usually acting "extremes" nowadays ...*sigh*

16)I should finish
this tag real fast (even if it means tht i hav to write crap.heehee)cos...its beginnin to bore me!!

17) I know
tht u guys must hav pretty much fallen asleep by now

18) I am
er...wht i am...n dont think tht can change even if u want me to ...

19)and finally
i hav finished off with this...yaayyyn hopefully ull have survived it ...

20)I tag
whoever wants to be tagged

"KANK"---wht was that???

sheesh! wht a waste of good time and money!!!
My friends and me went for the first day first show of "KANK" n ive got juss one word for the movie ---DISASTER!
Wonder wht the hype was all about!
me being a ardent "SRK" fan was all super exited to go for it more than 2 weeks in advance...n thn wht does he do?? let me down big time..hmph!
I remember havin those pre "KANK" long discussions bout how the movie wud be and after reading the huge expectations karan and amitabh had managed to create in their interviews , we were almost certain tht "SRK" and "rani" wud set the screen on fire once again!! LIARS! :( yep surely the screen wud be set on fire ...but probably by the angry audience who were thoroughly let down by a stupid story n senseless acting! hmph...
The only good thing bout "KANK" are the songs...they r beautiful n thts one of the reasons i had my expectations high...but even they were put all in the wrong places...the beautiful title song was all spoilt by makin it a "first meet" song...sheesh...(who the hell says "kabhi alvida na kehna" to a stranger u juss come across...not me), mitwa was good n thankgod atleast it dint pop up at a funeral or sumthin...hmph!


but thn overall it seemed tht KJ juss wanted to push those wonderful songs in between some crappy scenes n dint know wht he was doin...either he dint get it right or i dint...*snigger*AB has played his part well and for the first time junior AB has won my heart over SRK :)...thr sure were a coupla good shots but thn we expect sumthin better than tht frm such a bigbanner multistarer film isnt it??? *sigh*
The response was outrageous...yeah , nobvody liked it *snigger* (outrageously disgusting) n now i know why sanjay dutt said tht the movie mite lead even the best of couples to think bout their marriages n go for a divorce...lol!!
Peopple had already started walkin out even before the movie ended...but me a hopeless "SRK" fan still clung on to the hope tht IT (the storyn his crappy acting) wud actually get better in the last 5 minutes atleast...hmph!! but i was greatly dissapointed...
we went home wth a light pocket, a pissed off mood and an invisible "anti karanjohar" banner on our head instead of the halo i normally hav there...esp while watchin a KJ flick...

but wht the hell! atleast the popcorn was good
*uh oh...apun ke andar ka optimist jaag utha* :D

PS: those who r planning on goin for the movie,please sell ur tickets unless u guys get the news tht a tsunami is coming and the only safe place is a multiplex...better still , stay at the snack bar...its better than the 3hours of crap ...even the "bubblegum wrapup" couldent save the film...eyuckkk!!!

LETS CELEBRATE...

Wht the hell is wrong with me??? i wake up in the mornin, stretch lazily n scurry to my pc to check my mail...once thts done, come on to blogspot, try to put across some random thoughts which seem to be creatin havoc in my mind...failing miserably at it , i manage to type down some things wch dont make sense to either any of u or to me...yet i choose not to delete the post, wondering if u guys will take my insanity for philosophy...thn realising how pathetic my wishful thinkin is, i go back to my room...
"beep beep" goes my mobile asi look at the screen lazily, i see a notice sayin "2 new msges"...it being a lazzzy sunday ,i stretch again deciding whether i should juss put it away for later or make tht extra effort n press the small lil button wch says "open"...*yeah yeah, dont stare at me...i know im lazzyyy ...yawn*
ok so i did finally make tht extra effort which led me to hate myself for the next 10 minutes (sigh! i cant even hate myself for long )
I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT "FRIENDSHIP DAY"...:((
dang! today was the 6th of august, n i hadent even realised , had juss blogged bout some crap which was not even remotely related to friendship...wht the hell!! hav i changed soo much...
OK ok so ul'l must be wonderin wht the big fuss is all about...but it is to me...this day has a great deal of significance in my life n i dont think ive ever forgotten it the last soo many yrs...n today 6th august 2006, i broke my record of the past ...sheesh!!!
Thn as usual, i went guilttripping...why was M remindin me tht it was the 5th yest...hav i unintentionally proved all my friends right inspite og going in denial mode everytime they said ive changed , tht i dont value their friendship as before...
GOD!! ofcourse not, now im exaggerating (i hope)...well i did go on a "happy friendship day" msging spree after tht...n yeah did feel a lil guilty whn 4 of my friends replied saying "wish u the same...thanks for remembering"...sheesh!! they dont spare me even on friendship day do they...thanks for the friendly sarcasm guys, juss remember tht i can do without it next time..hmph!
Anyways this post would hav been a really sweet post bout how friendships are the most essential element of life, n how i cant do without my friends :)
it wud hav been about all the things i soo very much cherish, all the friendships wch hav such a important place in my life , in making me the person i am today (good , bad or ugly ...heehee...ok ok juss kiddin ;p)
but thn i guess , ive spoilt the very mood by forgetting about it n i dont think i can undo that by writing a post, would be superficial n i would be the first one(and mebe the only one) to feel so...so juss being true to myself (*grin* dont look at me like tht...its not an excuse, im not tht lazzzyyy *scowl*)
But il'l tk this as an oppurtunity to thank all the lovely people who hav made a big difference in my life though some of you mite be hardly aware of it :)
Pri values all her friends tht are or hav been a part of her n she never will forget them come wht may...as for those who are no longer with me,it might be that
we may not speak for a day, for a month, for a year or maybe never get the chance to speak again in this lifetime...but the times we hav shared will always remain with me...the memories of friendship will forever be etched in this heart which has come across as rock to some and gold to others *smiles*
In life, we meet some strangers n thn we get to know thm a lil better...but its only a few tht we call as friends...
we promise never to go away, to always be there for each other...some live upto their promises, some juss break them n never turn back while a few life offers to break...and all we are left behind are those nostalgic moments...*smiles*
Whtever be the situation, a friend can never be forgotten even if it looks otherwise...:)
So learn to value the friendships in your life...and try never to hurt the heart of a friend ...cos as the old sayin goes "friendship is like china ware, costly rich and rare, once broken can be mended, but the crack is always there"

n this goes out to all my friends who im yet to meet ...
*** be my friend only if you are here to stay,
or else go back n come another day...
You can say "hi", or "hello" or ask me if im fine,
but dont call urself a friend, unless you are mine***

hmmm am i possesive??? ;p
Anyways have a rocking friendship's day and keep making friends...life is long and i definitely need friends along the way...so count me in!!

once again! hav a rocking day
CHEERS TO OUR FRIENDSHIP
TODAY N FOREVER...

hugsss

What is "truth" exactly??is it what we hear or is it what we like to believe?
Sometimes we know we are being fooled , yet somewhere we wish it to be the truth...n thn the heart just refuses to listen to our mind...
sometimes we know what we are in for, yet we dare to take tht extra step, go that extra mile knowing tht we maybe crushed along the way...
Ever wondered how the situation changes when we hav to face it...its really amazing but it gets a whole new perspective when we are involved than when someone who wants our advice is...why so???Guess thts the fallacy of being "emotional homosapiens" who supposedly are supposed to be far luckier than the so called "inferior species" because er..they hav a mind of their own...
but then again, are we really lucky?? or does it just add up to the confusion of whts beneath the tough looking calvarium? :) hmmm ...sets me pondering!
Coming beck to the topic, wht exactly is meant by "truth"...is it wht we realise or are made to realise based on evidence/proof/factual circumstances or is it the inner voice, the so called "gut feeling" (which sometimes can go dangerously wrong)...
well , according to me the former is all bout thinking with ur mind (the practical way wch unemtional people are supposed to think) and the latter is about thinkin with ur heart(as do the hero's in any karan johar flick *snigger*)
But what bout us confused homosapiens who do not understand wht to listen to...who do we trust?? "the practical mind" or "the sensitive heart"...whoaa ...its quite a mess...guess i should give up on thinking...but thn again , easier said than done right? :)
A friend told me recently that i think too much and that i should learn to chill and enjoy life as it comes...chill?? err..how exactly do u do that?? and does chilling promise us permanent peace of mind or rather should i say would it drive away all my thought processes...nahh!! i dont think so, its almost a "u can run but u cant hide" scenario...i guess ppl who think chilling out is a escape route should go get a reality check!! well , its true tht it does give u a temporary clear mind feelin...but thn how long??
Theres no thing like "avoidance", u cant avoid anything for long, it does come back to u :) ...so why do we even try??
guess "giving up" is part of human nature too *sigh*

"hello can i speak to dr pri please", said a voice on the othr side of the phone...
She was almost about to say wrong number and hang up when she realised that she was pri..."heyy results are out...you are now officially dr pri" said the happy voice...
Pri almost dropped the receiver down...it was a instant kodak moment...the kind the winner has after winning the miss india paegent...;p
yayyyyyyyyy...finally the years of turmoil had paid off...the tension , the stress had finally come to a culmination point...that one moment made her forget all the bitterness which was overruling her the past soo many days...and after a long time , she smiled from within...:)
it was one of those rare ocassions when you really smile from within...those kinda smiles wch reach ur eyes ...those rare ocassions whn u dont need to paste a plastic grin to face the world, you juss dont need to pretend ...cos you are really happy and nothin in the world can stop u from beaming...
She knew it wud happen someday, but the journey had seemed soo long n boring :D
there were times whn things got soo stressful tht she almost felt like givin up ...n then again life hadent been kind, it had come up wth its own stresses n tensions asif to say "lets see how much you can handle"...and the timing too had been wrong as always...
its true they say, sometimeslife derives its own sadistic pleasure by tryin to mess up things wch hav been already messed up...she had been goin through a lotta crap, notphysically but mentally...at times she felt she was goin insane...n all the while she juss hoped tht her personal life wud not mess wth her life othrwise
But wth god's blessings and her strong belief in god, she felt like a winner...she had emerged above all those distractions she had survived it...she was happy :)
"DR PRI"was all she could hear :) the satisfaction of attaining adream made her beam wth joy ...she had never really realised the importance of an exam until now...
all this while they had been juss exams, things to clear up and move on ...and "results" were never really soo big an issue...
but this time it had been different...things had been happenin which made her confidence dwindle...the "why's" n "how's" of life were haunting her and her othrwise positive attitude had been wearing off...but then again such things in life make you realise the importance of things wch othrwise dont matter much...
She smiled to herself and hurridly hung up ...she had to tell her mom first
"ur daughter is a doctor now---ive survived it ma" she said brushing a tear frm her face as she hugged her mom...nobody could understand wht she was talkin bout except her ma ...she gav her a hug "i knew you wud" and smiled...
Scared she might burst into tears again, pri rushed to her room...leaving behind a perplexed sis who was wonderin wht the big fuss was all bout...
"hmph..she dint even wait for me to congratulate her ...what the devil is wrong with pri???from when did exams and results become such a big deal, i always thought she was confident bout everythin"..and her ma dint answer this time, she smiled ...


looking in the bedroom mirror, pri stared hard at her tear stained face n thought to herself...
"dr pri...yess thts wht u are...n thts wht you will be from today...a doctor...a good doctor...juss a good doctor...thts it "
somehow she didnt feel like smiling anymore ...

post "dissapearance act" :)

Back after a while...
A lot of things hav been keepin me busy n away the last soo many days...the most important being my exams goin on...
but a lot of things hav been happenin n i'd almost completely given up on bloggin...
yeah sure, somewhr deep within me i knew i wud be back n tht it wasent the end :)...but dint know whn...
Firstly im real sorry to all u guys who mailed, msged commented while i was away...thr r times in life whn u dont hav enough words to say wht u r goin thru or mebe u juss cannot say everythin is goin great :) n life the past few days has been soo hectic n busy tht i'd even stopped breathing for a while...*grin*
But pri is back...i missed u all , probably much morethan i was missed out here...
hope to catch up wth all u ppl n yeps am aware tht i hav to catch up on a lotta posts...i guess a lot of things hav happened while i was away...
exams were alrite...n now im havin my "pre-internship" break...internship's gonna start soon...keepin my fingers crossed n hopin for the best ahead...
Its a real relief to be free frm examtensions ...n im sure all of u hav gone thru this phase n know wht i mean...*grin*
but now wth a lotta time on my hands these days,am tryin to sort out my life---wch is juss being too stubborn at the moment...sigh!!
Hopefully pri isnt forgotten around here :)
assure to keep "nostalgic moments" posted...

cheers

a reflection

Its funny how life has this utterly irritating knack of keepin on remindin u about the things u soo much are tryin to forget, time n time again...
Like some ppl , im beginnin to believe life can be at its sadistic best sometimes...
Juss some realisations, a few masks uncovered, more stabs in the back than punches in the face n yeah, some misunderstandins wch hav led to understandin ppl a lil better...but one thing ive learnt is always be prepared for the hardest blow frm the person u tend to least expect it from...tht way it dosent hurt...yep its easier said than done...but thn no worries...if u hav any problem wth learnin how to, thts wht life's for...:)

reminds me of a beautiful verse i had read a long time ago...

"ansoon ko ankhon ki dehliz pe laya na karo,
apne gham kisi ko bataya na karo,
log mutthi bhar namak liye ghuma karte hain,
apne zakhm kisi ko dikhaya na karo"...

YEAH, IM WEIRD!... SO???

Found the very first post on one of my old lost blogs :)
it went sumthin like this...


***Who am i trying to run away from?....
The ppl who eventually realised who the real me is?...
Those pesky friends of mine who found their own way to my blog?
The ppl i thot i could trust and shamelessly disclosed my identity?...;)
I thought i dint care ...wht the heck!...neways the ppl who eventually realised who the real me is shud accept me as i am...
The pesky frenz who got their way thru my blog hav a rite to know wht i really feel
And the ppl i thought i trusted enuf to let know my real feelings....wht the f***k...dont i still trust them...?...:)
THEN WHY?...WHY AM I CREATING ANOTHER BLOG....???

Well i guess i can never be the "real me"...knowin tht the worlds gonna read my feelings, my emotions, my rantings...etc etc...
Be it be from family or frenz....i guess i need my own space...
Space to let go of my emotions...
Space to crib bout the uncertainities of life...n sometimes the certainities..;)
Space to type my innumerable rantings...
Space to disclose my myriad dreams and fantasies...
N most of all space to breathe...space to live...space to create a small lil world of my own..(so wht if its a blog world);)
Maybe eventually therell be ppl wholl find out its "ME" again
maybe those pesky frenz will find their way here again...
or maybe juss maybe Ill trust someone 2 let thm know ....

N THEN MAYBE...ill juss move on and create yet another blog....;)...(muhahaha****


And juss yesterday ,another very good friend of mine accuses me of not trustin enough...
and tht set me wonderin...
i havent changed much eh??
im still the same ...almost the same...sigh!!!
Maybe one day "nostalgic moments" will be gone too....*i hate to think tht way*.
but thn hasent tht been "typically pri" all this while...
whr hav all my prev blogs dissapeared...why hav they been shut down...???
why this post thn...n why do i feel very much the same way sometimes even today??...
who am i runnin from???
wht am i runnin from???
am i even running or juss makin a futile effort??
why this secrecy...this anonymity...whn i myself cannot comprehend it sometimes??
thrs no reason to be this way...yet why do i continue doin so??
am i crazy...insane...paranoid...or juss a lil extra cautious???
and if i am, thn wht is the extra caution for...why this blog? why "nostalgic moments".? why this sharing of ideas, of views??...
So much as i hav never really said it, i am in love wth "nostalgic moments" and all u ppl who frequent it...who dosent like being pampered??who dosent love being cared for??
but thn why am i afraid of losing it someday???...
i came across a beautiful line somewhr ---as we grow up , we lose ourselves as a person...very true!!
hav i lost the ability to trust, the confidence tht life can be beautiful...tht ppl can actually be sweet whn they seem to be...tht someone can genuinely be concerned or care ???...its sad ...but i think i hav :( and wht ive got in return is this crazy attitude ...this constant urge to remind myself tht ppl are juss fakin it whn they say or act tht they care...this feelin of takin 5 steps behind whn i feel the slightest clue of goin 2 steps towards someone...sigh!! will tht ever change...as much as i hate it, i feel a strange sense of security because of it...its bizarre i know...but i guess ive accepted it as a part of me...n sometimes i do feel sad bout it...not sad for the othrs (as my friends believe sometimes) but sad for me...its like hatin sumthin u know ull never part wth ...funny...eh??
Im not even the types who like to keep ppl guessing....though it may feel tht way at times....but believe me thts only cos i dont hav ne othr explanation for my weird behaviour...it confuses me as much as it does ull :(...
nor am i one of those ppl who hav those dark secrets or a extraordinary life wch they dont want othrs to find out about...thn why? why? why?...
i hate it MOST whn i confuse myself...!!! :(

n yet thrs no real want to change,
no real inclination to act othrwise...

bottomline: I GUESS PRI IS WEIRD...
(n she see's no desire or inclination of changing or improving...so il'l juss keep my fingers crossed and maybe an inkling of hope tht the world will change for pri...accept her for wht she is...if not!! god save the world and her :)
each as they go different ways...)

god bless and take care!
*smiles*

IN A NOSTALGIC TRANCE

Was listenin to one of my favs tracks....from the movie "lamhe"
goes like this...

yeh lamhe , yeh pal hum,
barson yaad karenge...
yeh mausam chala gaya toh,
hum fariyaad karenge ...:)

brought back a lot of memories and made me rummage through my closet to find this piece i'd written quite some time back...(yeah yeah, i know...some ppl hav weirdplaces assigned to store away their creativity...open my closet n ull find scraps of paper wth my most personal compositions written...strwen about amidst the mess of clothes )
yeah its true...times change, ppl change, situations change..but memories never...!!! :)




MEMORIES...


Memories of the past so good,
forget them all i wish i could.
True happiness i thot i'd found,
now its only memories to wch im bound.

Nostalgia floods me everyday,
as if to tell me it has sumthin to say.
Each time i feel i shudent hold on any longer,
i feel those memories gettin stronger.

The ghosts of yesteryears refuse to leave,
a web of dreams ive begun to weave,
and though i know it wont do me any good,
leave it all behind me i never really could.

Why am i being haunted this way?,
whn those memories hav nothin to say...
Why am i tempted to live in the past?,
whn i know tht it can never last...:(

The futures yet to see, but the presents mine,
and i hope someday everythin to be fine.
To face todays reality , i must dare,
coz livin in a fantasy is never really fair.

Everytime i try snappin out of the trance,
from reality i turn away my glance.
Every step away from it , i take infront,
my heart cant take it, i can feel the brunt!

My mind can never take my heart as a friend,
its a conflict thtll never end.
Both contradict each other in every say,
but hell! its always me who has to pay...!


memories are somethin forever...n however much you try to break loose from them...u can never succeed....or MAYBE u juss don wanna try hard enough cos u r scared tht u juss might...;)

IT DINT MAKE SENSE ...DID IT?

Today mornin saw me wake up in cold sweat!!!
It was around 3.30 am in the mornin (as per by my bedside watch) and i was surprised cos after a long long time i actually could remember wht i'd dreamt about and worse still! it dint make any sense...
Id read somewhere tht a person tends to remember only those dreams wch actually hav some sense associated wth thm...medical jargon speaks bout "REM" n "NON REM" sleep...but i always found the former theory more interesting ..and the philosophical dreamer tht i am crave to find a philosophical aspect to everythin ...i'd like to believe tht even the most bizarre dreams or nighmares ive woken up rememberin make sense...and if they dont , thn i simply dispose thm off sayin tht it was my subconciousmind tht was thinkin bout it sumwhr...:)
But yesterday proved me wrong...
I saw ppl i'd never seen in my life, names i'd never heard...
situations wch were very strange n uncanny...weird things happenin...no sequence at all...
It was funny...i havent seen such chaos in my dreams since a long long time...most of my dreams are very well organised and in sync (lol) unlike real life...
but this was strange, weird, totally ridiculously chaotic...
thr was confusion all around...it was soo bizarre...so messed up...kinda like er uh ..kinda like reality :(
And thn there were some instances i could relate to...but most of thm were irrelevant...more like those "ekta kapoor" soaps...lol!!
But hadent even watched much of tv yest...so thought i could rule out tht possibility...
I dont even know whethr i should call it a "dream" or a "nightmare" cos i cant really say it was good or bad...
it was juss weird...like some confused director directin a movie ...or shud i say "anu malik" tryin to compose a song wth a number of ideas frm various movies n finally comin up wth some disastrous crap like "dekho baarish ho rahi hain...its rainin , its rainin, its raiiinnniiing"...*rolls her eyes*
ok sorry sorry...tht was me digressin again...:p
but whtever, this really set me thinkin whethr wht we see in our dreams reflect the state of mind we are in...hmm thn i can imagine the mess goin about in my head rite now...god!!ive heard such things in movies...something bout ur past life tryin to send u a msg through ur dream...whoaa...im too freaked out rite now to even think bout reincarnation...:P so am juss pushin tht thought away...
Wht do u guys think?...any such experiences?
any such atrocious dreams/nightmares?
anysuch time whn ull woke up in cold sweat juss cos it was farr too confusin n mind bogglin to understand ur mind while asleep??

tell me about it...
want to know im not alone...
want to know im not goin crazy yet...*winks*

COULDENT STAY AWAY LONG

Im backkk!!!
Thanks n hugzz to all those who missed me :)
Yeah yeah, i guess ull dint expect me to turn up soo soon...lol...but unpredictable tht i am surprised even myself by not being able to stay away long...
n the main reason im back is ive realised tht ive got to stop searchin for answers...instead pri has decided to let the answers find her...:)
Sometimes the more u try to make sense out of things, the more they muddle u up and all u r left with is confusion...more than u had started out with...
This realisation actually dawned upon me while speakin to a friend ...though (as usual) im sure he dint even realise tht his casual statement could hav a rather strong impact...lol...but thn sometimes the lil things ppl say help u walk through life ...its juss like those small nothins u knowbut still want to hear from the other person...such is the case wth "realisation" too:)
Well in any case..pri is back...n heres a list of things i did in this small break frm blogsville...(though they could hav very well been done wth me being around too...lol..but had to make it sound important...*grin*)
1) finally got done wth a piece of work tht was remainin pendin for the past 3 months...it was a great feelin and not havin it done was buggin me since a long time...did manage to get my di smilin and parents in a good mood by tht n yaa did manage to covince myself tht i wasent 100% of the sadistic rebel tht i thought i was...*grinnin*
2)finally made a "almost serious" start for studin and exam preparations...it was high time i did...plan to keep it up...hope i stick to my plans...*yawn--feelin sleepy already* :p
3)got back in touch with a old friend and managed to clear a misunderstandin wch had led him not to reply to my msg's or offliners for a whole 2 months now...he finally replied ...i was happy...but after hearin him out, did feel horrid about myself for being rude *read as "in a bad mood"*...sigh! (details in anothr post).But am happy tht its atleast sorted out ---(or so i wud like to believe)
4)spoke to juss one person on yahoo messenger endlessly and eventually did manage to irk him soo much tht i dont think the "no reply" i got after my "hi" today was unintentional...heeheee...(im sure he will know who im referrin to---if he is readin this) *giggles*
5)watched a coupla movies wch i'd been wantin to watch since long...
6)had long conversations wth "god" and "me"---n thn finally came up wth some desicions wch im plannin to stick by (so far so good)but still a long way to go *keepin my fingers crossed* :)
7)promised myself a coupla things...*secret* but most of all promised myself a 1 hour counsellin session (by dr pri) everynight before i go off to sleepyland *heehee*...had almost forgotten tht i used to do this a long lomg time back whn i was in school...guess i need to do it again...try itppl!!..it dosent hurt :)n yeah self therapy is the best ...

so thts the story till now...will keep ul'l posted as it goes on...as life goes on...as pri goes on...
till thn,

cheers
*raises a toast* :)

P.S: "nostalgic moments" has got a brandnew email address of its own on gmail *yoohoo*...so feel free to shoot me an email on "nostalgicmoments@gmail.com" anytime ull want...
tk care :)

adios for now

Sorry guys...wont be around in blogsville for the next few days :(
A lot of things on my mind and its high time i tried to sort out the clutter n get a lil order in my messed up life :)
So wont be bloggin as well as blog hoppin apparently....(dont worry guys...this is juss a short phase...il'l be bak..heehahaha)*hopefully*
Il'l miss u all till thn...

cya whn i get back...

miss me lots
and heyy pls do check on "nostalgic moments" once every 5 days to see if pri's bak...n pleeez pleeez dont giv up on me..the least i want is someone doin tht rite now ...lol!! am i soundin desperate or wht??...*grin*
Heyy but u guys better not giv up on me (bloggin) till i tell u so...sigh!!

hugzzz

meanderings of my listless mind ...

(Heyy everyone..am in one of my moods again..so bear up wth yet another of my creations :)happy reading ...)


As we turn the pages of our life,
thinkin of the person we are today,
each passin moment, each day goin by,
has sumthin to teach us in its own special way.

People walk into our lives,
many call themselves a friend,
some threaten to go away,
some promise to stay till the end...
Each passin moment,as each day goes by,
teaches us promises can also lie...

Hearts broken n made to mend,
we think of ways to survive the hurt,
once naive enough to believe each "love" to be true,
now convinced its almost always a "flirt"...
Each passin moment, as each day goes by,
teaches us true love can make one cry...

Ppl hurt along the way,
by words spoken n not realised,
we thought of it as nothin thn,
now we know we paid too huge a price...
Each passin moment, as each day goes by,
a void remains, we r left wth a sigh!

A cup of coffee, a rainy day,
nostalgic moods n secrets shared,
friendly banter, hearts pourin out
a stupid mistake of thinkin someone cared...
Each passin moment, as each day goes by,
teaches us memories leave only whn we die !

And life goes on, the lesson never ends,
the journey continues ,we make new friends,
only to learn from the hurt n pain,
we continue to walk again on tht forbidden lane...


(ITS TRUE THEY SAY, "life is a lesson...we learn it only whn we r through"...:))

cheers

HOPE!! shud we???

A weary traveller stranded in the storm,
an innocent teen, waitin to go to prom,
a dying man, wishing for longer he could live,
an angry lover, waiting for her beloved to forgive.

Somebody waiting for somethin to be said,
somebody waiting, for their silence to be read,
somebody wishing they could juss go away,
and yet somebody hoping,for longer to stay.

Hopes so pure, hopes so naive,
hopes are wht keeps us alive.
Blind eyes hopin tht someday they'll see,
"sans hope", life wud be a misery.

But hopes sometimes make us go weak,
and its they wch make facin reality seem bleak..
but human as we are, we continue to dream,
no matter how futile the case may seem.

But if it wasent for hopes, life wud be such a bore
and the world, no matter how beautiful, wud still seem sore,
and life wud lose all its charm , all its cream..
afterall nothin really happens, unless first a DREAM...:)

NEVER LOSE HOPE, DARE TO DREAM...ITS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS IN LIFE WE CAN CALL OUR OWN....:)



P.S: this poem was composed by me a long time bak whn i was officially a "dreamer"...lol...even remember postin it on my prev blog "reality sucks"..(lol!! the name itself juss goes to prove tht i was livin in a utopian world bak thn)...
well some ppl claim tht i still do...sigh! wonder wht they wud hav said if they knew me bak thn...lol!! ( a conversation wth a friend brought bak this memory n i actually went bak n fished it out...phew!)
but wht scares me sometimes is the thought tht maybe the "dreamer" in pri is still not dead yet...sheesh!!

cheers ppl
dream on (its good once in a while)
but make sure u dont get soo lost tht u dont hav ur reality to lean back on :)

WHAT REALLY MATTERS MOST...

HERE'S A WONDERFUL PIECE I CAME ACROSS....VERY TRUE...I LIKED IT SOO MUCH THT I DECIDED TO SHARE IT WITH U GUYS :)...HAPPY READING!


When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Whose judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

JUSS A AFTERTHOUGHT :)
Hav u ever cheated the one in the glass ?? be it for one day , one hour, or mebe juss for a moment?? When we fool someone to beleive we are someone else, whn we try to potray ourselves as someone who we are not, are we actually foolin the others or juss foolin ourselves in the process...n in the end is it really worth it?/...think about it!!

cheers

sigh!!! in a "not so perfect" world...

When in love, all of us dream of a perfect world...a world wherein ur bf/husband will get u flowers everyday, will remember to wish u on ur birthday no matter how caught up he is, will get u flowers n heart shaped candy every valentines day, will hav eyes for noone else but u,will think of u as the most beutiful woman on earth even on a "bad hair" day...:)
But as the days go by, we feel the harsh wrath of reality ...the knight in shinin armour changes into a cold heartless gremlin who not only feels tht "thr shudent be silly ocassions like valentines day to express my love, u shud know." but also forgets to wish u on ur birthday but has the cheek to grin shamelessly n admit it not comin up wth ne excuse...hmph!
BOTTOMLINE: u r taken for granted....sigh!
ur dream of yesterday is slowly changin into a nightmare...n u realise so is ur "romeo"



Heres a simple example showin how ur dreamsong lyrics change ...


IN UR DREAMS n in a perfect world (created by woman ofcourse), this is the scenario we all expect...:)
It's late in the evening, She's wondering what clothes to wear

She puts on her make up, And brushes her long blonde hair

And then she asks me, Do I look alright ,And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight


We go a party, And everyone turns to see, This beautiful lady, That's walking around with me

And then she asks me, Do you feel alright, And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight


I feel wonderful, Because I see the love light in your eyes, And the wonder of it all, Is that you just don't realize, How much I love you


It's time to go home now, And I've got an aching head, So I give her the car keys, She helps me to bed, And then I tell her, As I turn out the light,

I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight, Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight


IN REALITY, this is the scenario...sigh! (sumwht puttin it mildly/harshly..u decide..heehee)

It's late in the evening, She's wondering what clothes to wear

She puts on her make up, And brushes her long blonde hair

And then she asks him, Do I look alright ?

N HE SAYS "YUP U LOOK OKAY...LETS GO...WE DONT WANT TO BE LATE"...(sigh!..grrr...okay??...thts it??..sheesh!why did i even ask?)

We go a party, And everyone turns to see, This beautiful lady, That's walking around with me

And then she asks him, Do you feel alright
N HE REPLIES "MM...WTH ALL THESE PPL STARIN AT US...I WONDER Y...I TOLD U SHUDENT HAV TAKEN SOO MUCH TIME ON MAKEUP...ITS RUDE TO REACH THIS LATEE...HAHA"
(SIGH!..some sense of humour...bet they r wonderin wht a girl like me is doin wth a clod like u..hmph!)
...
...
...It's time to go home now, And he's got an aching head, So I give her the car keys, She helps him to bed, And then he tells her, As he turns out the light,

HE SAYS "DARLING ,I TOLD U TO ATTEND MORE OF THOSE DRIVIN CLASSES...UR SRIVIN SUCKS!!"OHH N BTW LETS I NEED U TO KNOW SUMTHIN,...
(at this point wifey dearie is waitin wth bated breath wonderin if he is gonna finally say her dream words...)
n all he comes up wth is
"THE PARTY WAS GREAT...WE SHOULD COMEUP WTH SUMTHIN LIKE THT SOMETIME"
PLOP!!n off to sleepyland he goes mumblin sumthin like a muffled "i love u"..er..eh..or was it juss ur imagination playin tricks??...
(sigh!...exasperated!!)


GOD!!!if this is reality...dayummm!!...lemme go back to my dreamsss...heehee

wht wud u do?

one of those evenins whn reality really gets to u n leaves u feelin real helpless bout things happenin in ur life and around u...Sometimes u see things happenin, see people facin situations , wch really make u wonder wht these ppl are made of...sometimes life makes u face similar situations n thn again u wonder "wht kinda stuff are u made of?"...
juss reflectin ...giv it a thought maybe juss to humour me or maybe juss to know for urself...:)

Wht wud u do ...???
1)if every single day of ur life, u wake up smilin only in the end to go to bed cryin...
2) if u realise tht someone has taken away ur power to dream n no matter wht, u juss dont get thm nemore...
3) if ur family --the only force wch the world says is worth livin for is the one who wishes u no longer did...
4) if to make matter worse, tell u tht they think so...
5) if u r made aware of ur shortcomings every single minute the more u try to forget bout thm...
6)if u see people around u being killed in riots wth no fault of theirs regardin stupid miniscule issues like "religion differences" ...
7) if u r the only one left out...
8) if u hav to love the person u hate most...
9) if u hav to lose the person u love most...
10) if u no longer trust ur opinions bout things n ppl...
11) if the innocence of trustin ppl , of beleivin friends, of dreamin bout ur knight in shinin armour, the innocence of those beliefs u always had ---juss leave u n go away all at once wthout ne prior warnins n u suddenly find urself a changed person, n as ppl say ,changed for the worse---cold , curt n most of all hurtin...
12) if u suddenly get to know u r likin it this way..mebe this has always been u...n yet u know it has never been...
13) if u start wth thinkin bout sumthin n thn end up losin track of wht u were thinkin bout in the first place...(dunno bout u guys but i can perfectly relate to this one...)
14) if u feel like breakin off wth someone the moment they get to know u a wee lil too well...
15) if u hate to beleive thm whn they tell u they do...
16) if the "new chaged" you has always been the one person u wud hav hated to become, yet u dont seem to hate urself now...
18)if the people around u misunderstand u n u nolonger feel it important to clear up their misunderstandin even whn given the chance to...
19)whn nothin really feels important to u nemore n u realise u r becomin more n more selfcentred by the minute n u don giv a friggin damn!!
20) if the posts u write dont make sense at all n leave the othrs juss as confused bout u as u are...heehee


ps: im sure this post will get ull thinkin n probably even judgin me...but as i always say, ull are most welcome to draw ur own conclusions juss dont vouch for thm to be true...:)n dont u ask me why i care bout tht...


I DUNNO...!!!

shaam se aankh mein nammi si hai
aaj phir aap ki kami si hai
shaam se aankh mein nami si hai

dafan karr do humme ke sans mille
nabaj kuch derr se thami si hai
aaj phir aap ki kammi si hai

waqt rehta nahin kahi tikk karr
iski aadat bhi aadami si hai
iss ki aadat bhi aadami si hai
aaj phir aap ki kammi si hai

koi rishta nahin raha phir bhi ek tasvir lajmi si hai
shaam se aankh mein nammi si hai
aaj phir aap ki kammi si hai


Guess wht has been the song for the day...:)
juss one of those days whn everythin comes back to u n leaves u misty eyed...
tears of happiness,
tears wch reflect ur hurt,
tears wch hav made u a stronger person,
or wch hav juss made u a lil more curt...

i dunno why its still thr,
n juss whn i thot i no longer am weak,
i realised today how wrong i was,
whn tht silly tear juss flowed down my cheek...


PS:...no questions asked , no "awws ull be fine" n pulleeease no "tell me bout it"'s...so watch the comments...n pls feel free to tk this post as purely fictitious ...lol

nostalgic moments---yet again!

Deep came over to my place , the other day...she will be leavin for herhometown in 3 months time...she's decided to do her internship there...
Its real sad whn u get soo used to havin someone around for such a long time only to know tht they hav to leave u in the end...yet again another goodbye, yet again another farewell, yet again more memories to haunt us whn she'll be gone...sigh!...guess thts life...
We were always this group of 5 ...tagged as "the famous 5" , "5 muskeeteers" etc etc...cos we were always around together...Med school can be real nervewreckin without friends n its thanks to this group of mine, we always had each othrs shoulder to cry thru thick n thin (ok ok who am i kiddin...thru all those exams, tests n vivas ...heehee)...
I remember those wonderful "shayri sessions" we used to hav durin lectures while our other pakau classmates made faces at us for makin thm lose their concentration wth our muffled "wahwah"s n "irshaad"'s...but neverthless , shameless as we are used to carry on wth our buckwas shayris...
Thn thr were those hostel days...heehee..for me they were more of hostel hours cos never really could survive more than 2 days max at a strech at the hostel...so i always made a special appearance (as deep used to put it) and vanish as quick as i made a entry...lol!!!
I remember those irritatin calls i used to make deep at 6 in the mornin informin her tht i wudent make it for the lecture n almost orderin her to giv me proxi wthout even waitin for her to reply...all i got in return was a exasperated hmm....lol!! I still remember the huge fight we once had whn she told me tht she couldent take it ne further than tht cos one ofour proffs almost caught her in the act..heehee..From tht day the duty was asigned to "A"...another memeber of our notorious club...thr was absolutely no reason to worry till atleast one of thm was still alive...heehee...
One real funny incident i still remember was gettin caught together by our hostel warden...still dunno how but it was always me n deep who used to get caught, be it for loud music , or disturbin studious neighbours wth our continuous cell calls, to wonder how she used to always get to know it was us...i mean the calls n loud music was rather obvious thanks to our blessed voice...but the rest...who knows???
!! ...
Our group rocked at almost everythin...from gossipin to bitchin bout proffs n seniors to raggin juniors...u name it we rocked at it...lol!!!...n the best part was we used to always stick to each othr no matter wht...
Ppl knowin me here must be well aware of my temper tantrums, and mood swings....n u guys mustbe well aware tht it sure takes a lotta patience to stick around me at such times...so ull can imagine wht it must be like *heehee*....well ahem...i did my part of it too...sharin all their stories no matter wht, listenin to "A's" lousy singin wthout cottonballs in my ears...(god!..wht a torture), being their agonyaunt advisin thm bout facts of life (whtever lil i knew)....heehee..i can preach a lot guys...its practisin it wch makes it tough ...*sigh*...ok ok soo i stuck to my part ofthe deal too...so in case ull r readin this...no cribbin or superiority complexes allowed for puttin up wth me...
But now our group is finally gonna split...sigh...one thing good bout med school,tht we can all vouch for was the company of friends...n wth a group like ours,gettin dispersed will hurt for sure...but thn guess thts life...we all knew it had to happen someday...juss tht dint realise tht partin ways wud be soo damn "not easy"...
Yaya sure...promises of keepin in touch , emailin, constant smsing are gonna be made...but cmon pals!lets face it...we all know tht thts gonna last only for the initial some months...it cant go on forever...n once we start settlin down in the hustle bustle of daily life , all this will be er um uh...(hate to say forgotten)but itll be overlooked...thn itll juss be once in a while kinda calls n emails n stuff... thts the way it always goes...
So as long as we r still together, we hope to keep rockin...
Dunno how long its gonna last...
dunno whr or wth whom we r gonna end up wth....
dunno if our "all for one n one for all" motto will even be remembered a few years frm now
dunno if we will still share secrets like we do now...
I guess whoever said "nothin lasts forever" was hell rite...sigh!!
but yeah memories do....
they do...

they do...
they do...*sigh*

the spark of hope in a idle life---celluloid

Was watchin these "saas-bahu" types of programmes on tv today...*yawn* i know i know, but i'd nothin better to do...so was whilin away time channel surfin till my mom actually snatched the remote frm my hand n i had (n i mean HAD) to watch whtever was goin on on those lousy channels :(..cos my mom juss hates the music channels i like...
So one thing i noticed bout these so called "saas bahu" serials is tht they r soo very CLICHED...asin almost everyone has the same story goin on at approx the same damned time...lol.
Requisites of a typical "ekta kapoor" family drama are..
-----> thr MUST be atleast one mythological bahu (heehee...mythological becos such bahus r an extinct species these days...
-----> another MUST is a ultramodern choti bahu or devrani who is a complete contrast to our mythological mai ;) n who dosent miss the slightest chance to prove it n make it obvious...
I mean cmon folks,the audience is not thaat dumb (even though it watchin these soaps holds against this point), but yet..we dont need sinister music, some sudden seductive sounds, n tht loud makeup (wch usually has only the horns missin to prove wht they wanna make obvious)in the backdrop whnever she makes her entry...
----> a sudden death of one of the family members (usually of the most affectionate, lovable ,adored by all breadwinner of the family) who usually is the only one who juss got to know before the goddam accident tht their great greatgrandfather (who everyone blames for not leavin nethin behind him to support his mega family)had actually left millions behind..damn!! n they never even bothered tohang his photo in the hallway...if only they knew...sigh! howw sad!! ;p
----> now,the most important n expected thing is the body of the deceased remains unidentified wth only EXACTLY the face area completely burnt so tht noone can identify him if it isnt for his wallet n watch...damn! ppl ...how cliched can this get n how dumb can u viewers get...cant 2 ppl hav the same wallet n watch..*snigger*..
But NO!..our moms , dadis n aunts will yet continue to watch it wth misty eyes n sympathetic looks even though the same situation was viewed yest in the 1000056 episode of another friggin "k" soap...sigh!...whn will ppl learn...
---->n thn the famous "kangaal on the street " scenario...whn it was juss yesterday tht these guys were "ghoomin" in a merc...i still dont get it..how can they actually go bankrupt in a span of 24 hours...ok ok lemme answer tht...here our choti bahu usually makes a grand entry reminds the family of the papers they were soo dumb euf to sign...guess the music n liuyd make dint really make a impact on their teeny weeny brain cells did it??..or was tht only for ours?? :!...but heyy not to forget they still roam on the streets homeless but wth their heavy jewellery , diamond mangalsutra n "am goin to a weddin" sarees...all this whn thebadi bahu is actually faintin becos of the scorchin heatn not eaten for 5 days look...i can almost hear the director screamin "heyy watch tht saree..it costs 15000"...lol
---->n thn the one situation wch steals the show...lol..orshud isay not only takes the cake but the baker n the bakery too :p
3 yrs and 1500 episodes later our long deceased hero is BAKKKK!!
YAYYY...APPLAUSE......"sniff sniff..i knew he wud be bak..".thts wht one finds our dear ol dadis n nanis n even moms *surprised* sayin...i mean "CMONNN GUYS...GET A LIFE...WHO DINT??...we all knew tht he wud be bak...juss tht he took longer than expected...jatin came bak sooner in kumkum..."...lol.lol
But noone pays heedto my comments n they continue wth their "aw's" and "thankgod"s and "ow everythin will be alrite"s...heck!why wont everythin be..afterall its a damn friggin soap everythin HAS tobe alrite ...so very unlike life
Thr r soo many more situations, "bore me to death" scenes n "i cant beleive u still watchin thiswthout breakin the tv even once" plots...
But sigh!!...its a crazy world n everyone wants to relate life to happy moments well spent, everyone wants to hav tht lil ray of hope these dumb soaps manage to throw in...everyone wants tht "everythin will be alrite" and tht "god does everythin for the best so good has to come outta it" philosophy to be proved no matter how unrealistic n fake it may seem on the silver screen...
But guess thts y these soaps run...thts the reason for those high TRP ratings...thts the reason everyone runs tograb a seat infront of the "idiot box" everyday at 8...
So who am i to complain??/
HAIL EKTA KAPOOR !!
LONG LIVE BALAJI TELEFILMS!:)
KEEP GENERATIN THIS SPARK OF FALSE HOPE IN PPL...THTS LIFE ...SO KEEP ROCKIN IT!!


cheers...

Pri has decided ...no more cribbi-crabby posts from her nemore...this blog wont be a means of lettin out her pent up feelings, nor will it be a place to vent out her anger outbursts nor a home for the hurt she houses in her heart...
cos she has learnt ...
as rightly put in the film "yeh kalyug hain!...yahan kisi ek ka dard dusre ka tamasha banta hain"
And i refuse to let anyone use my source of hurt as their source of ENTERTAINMENT...
I dont even giv a damn!...If neone expects to get entertained or learn , well, go get hurt urself!!hmph!

N for all my pals n wellwishers, ull r most welcome to pri's blog , always :)
SHARE MY HAPPY MOMENTS, NOT MY MISERY...
SHARE MY SMILES , NOT MY TEARS
BE WITH ME IN ALL MY GOOD TIMES(dont expect u to be thr in my bad times..dont expect tht frm neone nemore :)
DONT BOTHER TO UNDERSTAND ME OR MY FEARS!!


cheers...:)frm a distance

Some stuff at the least expected places sometimes make the most sense...here's some of it...was juss browsin whn i came across this stuff n since had nothin better to do decided to paste it up here...:)

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Stuff for your blog!

Phew!! guess thts enough of copy-pastin...n im bored again:(