'NOVEMBER RAIN'

Well the title to this post would definitely remind u of the song by "guns and roses"...but hang on right there...u can listen to it later :D
well,surprising as it may seem it actually has been raining here for the last coupla days...for further explanations on this out-of-season bizarre episode, please consult the almighty 'eternal weatherman' sitting up there *pointing to the sky*(cos he would be able to explain best as he has all the controls :-/ )instead of coming up with weird illogical interpretations of ur own..ive heard a lot of those ol wives tales, trust me and once upon a naive time even believed them to be true..sigh!
Somehow this time around, the rains dint manage to bring as many smiles as it usually does...it was thundering, lightening and raining like there was no tomorrow...
people were too surprised to react...and with it raining cats and dogs juss one day prior to diwali, noone was really amused...
I dint dare to utter a word in favour of the rains this time coz i was kinda scared would be kicked out of home, with mom highly irritated because her diwali preps were held up...thanks to the weather, the lights were flickering, the lamps wouldent stay lit for a long time, and the "akash kandils" (diwali lanterns)were getting soaked...i tried to pass some witty remarks to change the mood and all i got was an angry stare...so i knew my sense of humour wouldent be appreciated this diwali...:-/
With nothing left to do and understanding tht offering to help would juss invite some more angry looks, i went to my room to appreciate the forces of nature...
They say this funny thing about rains ...it always manages to sweep you back in time...the strong wind blowing outside always seems to flip those pages of the book called "life" wayy back to a chapter u had almost forgotten...sometimes leaving u with a smile on your face and at other times a tear in your eye...
And then they also say tht "nostalgia" is at its best when its raining...i wonder why...i do agree...but then i dont think i need to depend on the rains for tht...hell i can be nostalgic even on a bright sunny day and i dont think anyone could sue me for it...but then again, guess thats just me...:-/
Well jokes aside,the rains did get me a little misty eyed...but then again, wouldent think its fair to blame it on the weather...maybe it was just me --being my crazy self again...
somehow this 'november rain' made me miss a whole lot of things...
---the company of friends at the hostel where we were forced to stay during diwali during 2rd year because we had exams coming (much to our frustration)...i remember trying to celebrate in our own lil way by taking time and making a small paper lantern in between study hours, lighting lamps in our room balcony,eating chocolates at 12am diwali night and knocking on senior/junior's room doors disturbing them and wishing everyone around justifying not being prepared for the viva in the morning by tht "cmon yaar, it was diwali" and subtly reminding the proff before the viva by wishing him "a very very very happy diwali :p...heehee
---the interns duty room of the orthopaedics ward, where i celebrated my last diwali in college(as an intern) fretting and fuming because i had to be on call on diwali eve...but then the nurses and ward boys did a more than fine job of cheering everyone up with all the handmade decorations and akash-kandils and lighting up the ward and stuff...and another good part was , almost all the patients wanted to be discharged for diwali reducing the workload and making the 'rounds' go a lot quicker..some even isisted on DAMA (discharge against medical advice) and so the ward had only about 9-10 patients and everyone was in a very good mood...believe me even the patients were coming up with suggestions how to pep up the diwali celebs...
I remembered wishing that i would be home to celebrate diwali but when i was greeted by each and every patient on rounds at 12am, i realised i wouldent have wanted to miss this for anything...:).tht was a perfect diwali!sigh...and now tht i was at home, i realised i was missing it...
---the times i used to make the 'akash kandil' with my own hands by using wheat flour paste as glue and crepe paper and silver foils...we used to make it right from scratch...mom used to help di and me make the 'kandil' skeleton and every diwali we looked forward to making it...now tht joy and enthusiasm is replaced by the lack of energy to make one and just go to the market and pick up a ready-made piece...and the only fun in the game is the bargaining bit which also gets boring if the guy selling it is a loser and quits easily with a exasperated "accha madamji jo dena hain dijiye...chahe toh free mein le jaiye" :-/ (it was only when i was all ready to walk off with the lantern, feeling very happy about it, tht i realised he was jus being sarcastic and not serious... such killjoys i tell u...hmpf!!)
---missed the times i used to be online on YM (yahoo messenger) almost 24/7...or atleast appeared to be online even though not around,well maintaining my status as a net addict...and then one fine day, i juss forgot my password (dont even ask how...can u believe it..i juss plain forgot...poof! erased from my memory and inspite of various attempts to retrieve it, i couldent..sob!)and since then,i never got about making another YM account...it jus dint matter somehow...call it fading of enthusiasm or a feeling of frustration over the loss of the friends in my contact list and a sense of lethargy to add them all again or maybe juss a comfortable freedom from the claustrophobia i sometimes suffer from unwanted intrusion by ppl i feel i dont want any interference from...but then , there are times like these when i miss it all...the attention, the friendly bantering and the 'keeping in touch'...
sigh! sometimes i think i dont even know what i really want...
---the rains outside also made me miss all those rainy days when 'pri' used to be lost in plesant thoughts, dreaming away to glory, thinking of the future and revelling in the past...and then she grew up...
im aware tht the rains dont have that effect on me anymore ...:)

Besides, there were things which i cant put a finger on, but which these november rains definitely brought back along with them...
pages of a diary flipped open,days gone by, laughs shared, smiles exchanged, tears shed, greetings pushed away, blogs opened and closed down...
some words can never be erased...the same with some memories...
Was it just the rains??... i dunno...:-/

The rains stopped...the preparations continued...everyone was happy once again...
the festivity went on...lights...lanterns...celebrations..all around...
But to me, all that mattered was the 'cold november rain' ...