LOVE----something which 'was' , 'is' and 'will be'...

I was just flipping through the pages of a gossip magazine when i noticed an article about the famous 'shahid-kareena' breakup...
After the first few spicy lines, it went ahead to say that shahid was trying too hard to change kareena as a person making her eventually feel she was losing her identity...
it further pointed out some ocassions in which the hot and sizzling bebo was persuaded to tag along for some 'pravachans and satsangs' (religious preachings)which she found utterly boring but agreed to go to just to save their relationship...hmmmmmm..
they say shahid even tried persuading her into becoming a vegetarian....all these attempts ultimately led to frustration and kareena realised she was a happier person without it and so eventually split ways...

After having devoured every word of the juicy article, urs truly put on her 'pensive mood thinking cap' once again and got lost in thinking mode...
how much change can one tolerate to save a relationship??

ive heard a lot of my friends going 'ive changed soo much as a person...blah blah' minutes after announcing their committed status and have heard a few of those same friends going 'i changed soo much for him/her and yet....sob sob...boohoo'
now im confused...i always thought that love isnt about changing urself or trying to change ur significant other...
that love is 'when u accept the person as he/she is even though u dont agree with some things'...
that love is 'going strong inspite of all the differences (which obviously dont matter or can be sorted out)because u respect the others views/opinions'...

I strongly feel that love does make u want to be a better person...it makes u want to be perfect...because ur happy and u want the person u love to be happier than anyone else in the world...because YOU feel that 'ur special one' deserves it...and no! he/she dosent have to tell u that :-/
u want to improve because u think thatll make a happier couple...
not because he/she constantly cribs about u being silly, stupid or careless...
not because he/she starts comparing u with someone---in this case,that simply means that he/she wants a different you...
and that is not love...its more of an 'attempted compatibility' isnt it??

Love is not about loving the person by making him/her change according to what u want to see...its more of loving the person for what he/she already is...
yaa i agree that we all want to improve or see our loved one's improve...but that dosent mean we stop loving them if they cant...because we gotta realise when in love,everyone tends to give it their best shot...:)
reminds me of a dialogue i had heard in some movie "Koi pyaar kare to tumse kare,Tum jaise ho vaise kare,Koi tumhe badal ke pyaar kare, To vo pyaar nahi vo sauda kare,Aur sahiba pyaar mein sauda nahi hota." (if someone loves u, then he should love u for who u are...if he wants you to change yourself, then its not love but a deal..and in love there are no deals)

This got me thinking how many times do we actually put ourselves in the backseat and do something just to make the person we love, happy??
Some 'gyaan' my friends offered on this topic after labelling me again as 'a dreamer of an utopian world',was that every relationship requires some amount of compromise from both partners to keep it going...
but i say 'why the word compromise?'...when in love, there shouldent be any compromise felt because even if there is, u refuse to see it as one...
it no longer matters because when u know that the person u love is happy, thats all u want and care about...
and if it does matter, then watch out!! either things are going a bit too fast or maybe your heart is just in that indecisive phase...
so its better to stop and let it think a while than end up being claustrophobic in a wrong relationship...:)

As for kareena and shahid,wonder who is to blame?? who is more at fault?...
kareena--who walked out on shahid because she apparently must have compared him to saif who seemed a better option?
or shahid who has said to have tried too hard to mould kareena into the person he wanted her to be,without bothering about her individuality??

and then again was it even 'love' in the first place?? ...no comments!! :-/

just for laughs...

Here is something which made me laugh today...thought il'l share it with u guys out here....



Go ahead! spread that smile around...

and while ur at it,can anyone explain to me what 'uruzu urzu durkut' means?? *puzzled look*
neverthless i like the sound of it ...so hum along! ;)

have a nice day! :)

UPDATE: they say uve got to find ur answers yourself ;)
so i went ahead and did just that...er..with a lil help from google...heehee
also i just couldent wait for someone to find out and explain it to me...
so making it simpler for u people, here's one beautiful interpretation i came across---urzu urzu durkut is a kashmiri word for exactly what it sounds like...ie 'cute' or 'wonderful'...:)

a blogger further explained it in one of his posts (i found courtesy google) that the word actually is a kashmiri word which also precisely means
'Long live with standing on your legs firm"! which further means... "Live healthily with your own support throughout"....

ahh...makes me love it all the more...
so guys...adios for now...and dont ever forget--- 'uruzu urzu durkut' :)

introspection---once again...

what makes some people more special---is it the happiness u feel when u are with them....or is it the pain u feel when u are not??

how many issues have u been avoiding with the simple excuse that u dont wanna talk/think about it when somewhere at the back of ur mind, thats all ur thinking about most of the times??

Like love, happiness too is ephemeral...then why is the pursuit of happiness still on? and does it ever stop??

everyone is selfish...those who claim to be dont care if u think they are and those who act asif they arnt are most likely pretending which must mean they dont care either...
come to think of it,the purest emotion 'love' is selfish too in a way isnt it??

why dont people say whats on their mind...wouldent it be wonderful if we could all read minds?? or would it be dissapointing or perhaps sometimes dangerous?? hmmmmm...
but atleast there would be no pretence...

do u know to differenciate between ego and selfrespect without having to actually confirm with wikipedia?? :)

life is soo busy at times...and even if it wasent how often would we really stop to smell the flowers??



those were just some questions i asked myself today...
do u question yourself sometimes...or have u given up already??

'weight' and watch...sigh!

okies here is a pic just for the records...and for all those who were highly curious to see me after the entire '4kgs gained fiasco' (as kindly put by dhee..hmpf!)
caution:please view pic on old fashioned pc as i seem to look bloated on lappies.:-/

well as u can see here, urs truly is grinning away after one such satisfied food binge blissfully unaware of the shocking news the weight scale screamed later during the day...2 weeks of uncontrolled eat-outs, flopping on the couch and watching tv and the only exercise being shopping does have its disadvantages...sigh! :(
and right now im doing what i normally do best---cribbing! heehee...

To top it all, the treadmill seems to be obediently following 'when something has to go wrong it will, and at the worst possible time'...
I can actually picture 'murphy' having a ball of a time in his grave, wearing a funny hat and saying 'i told u so...i told u so' in an irritating sing-song manner...
SO ive decided to use the sacred 'rule of taliban' to my convenience...heehee
and since im not going anywhere atleast for the next 2 weeks and since ignoring a lot of phonecalls has got a lot of friends pissed off (the reason being im wayy too busy in sleepyland),i wont be invited to any social gatherings or parties nor will any of my otherwise shameless friends come over either (in case u r not pissed enough...LOOK! i just called u 'S-H-A-M-E-L-E-S-S' :o...now u wouldent even want to see my fat face for the next 2 weeks would u?? thanks! heehee)...

phew! so the jobless wretch urs truly is, has decided to sulk endlessly and vent out her frustration on here...3 cheers blogsville!! *throwing kisses in the air*...
hmm and just btw i think im going to sell off my lappy now...any takers??
it seems to be showing my pics (all of them) with me kinda shrunken making me look fatter and kinda concised (the 'sandwiched look' as the evil sis puts it :-/)*waaaaahhh..sob*...nooo dont u dare tell me i must be hallucinating (like i was about the 'wash and wear' clothes..sniff! hmpf!!)... cos this time i HAVE confirmed...they look a lot closer to reality on the comp *confused*...
mmm do u think it could be something to do with the settings which me being technologically challenged have obviously overlooked?? :-/ u think so?huh? huh??

FIE on u ,o'modern day tehchnology...*hugging her pc while shooting angry looks in the direction of her laptop*
dont ask me how...i dont know...and i dont really care..have my own weight issues to crib about as of now...sigh!

FINE! im being a drama queen and wallowing in self-pity again :-/...HAPPY?

the counting game...

I wanna make my life count
all of you who are here to stay...
all the trials which make me go on...
all the smiles which come to my lips...
every time a new dream is born...

I wanna make my life count
all these moments i will never forget...
the memories engraved in this heart of mine...
every time i stumble and miss a step,
but something makes sure i do just fine...

I wanna make my life count
all the battles it makes me fight,
some with the self making me stronger...
every angel who makes sure i am safe,
when at times i feel i cant go on any longer...

I wanna make my life count
all the tests it puts me through...
every small triumph along the way...
every dark night i spend crying...
only to appreciate the new colours of day...

I wanna make my life count
all the blessings i get as gifts...
all the smiles i manage to spark...
every time a small lil gesture of mine,
evokes for someone a sunbeam in the dark...

I wanna make my life count
the long walks i share hand in hand...
those who wont leave me stranded around the bend...
each time someone thinks of me when im away...
every time im remembered by a friend...

I wanna make u count o'life!!
my every feeling...every thought...every word...
each night...each noon...each passing dawn...
all the smiles,tears and laughs i share...
i know u'll miss me lots when im gone...

my world last week...

the pro's of the week gone by:

1) heard from a friend after 6 years...she's now married and has a 1yr old baby boy named 'om' (long live ekta kapoor!!)


2)learnt that sometimes all u need to get a little help is just ask...but its not the same with advice...u dont need to ask...it comes to u irrespective of whether u need it or not ...sigh!

3)received a real cute mail from someone which had me smiling even long after reading it :)

4)realised that 'wash and wear' clothes make me look slimmer...yayyyyyy!!....its time i revamped my wardrobe :p...

5)went on a surprise junkfood binge...bhel,sev puri,kababs,paav-bhaji,golgappa...had it all...yumm!! *satisfied grin*...it started first as a stress buster, then as a reason to celebrate in ecstacy (over india's victory as the aussie team bites the dust...HIP HIP HURRAY!!) and finally has now become an addiction :-/

6)caught up with reruns of my once-upon-a-time-fav show 'mind ur language' ...

7)got a lotta messages from friends asking if everything was fine and saying that i was being missed...made me feel good :)

the con's of the week gone by:

1)realised i'd probably done a big mistake by giving up my job after a friend told me that she couldent get in inspite of having a pretty impressive CV...

2)was further made aware of the foolish mistake by another friend who winced after he got to know i walked out of 'apollo group of hospitals'...:(
[but snapped out of the depression soon enough and decided that i dont really need to speak to people who dont understand me enough and that ultimately its my life and my decisions which i need to sort over time]

3)thought a lot about a lot of things and realised that probably im taking too much time to sort things out :(

4)stepped on the weight scale and realised i have gained 4 gross kgs in 2 weeks after all that gorging on junk food ...boohoooo!!sob!sob!


5)missed home...missed the air...missed the faces...missed the streets...and most of all missed the sea-food...though now have gotten a bit used to it,20 days were enough to get me missing all that, no matter how convenient and comfortable everything seems to be...:(

6)got to know how business minded people are and that even friends at times, have their own selfish interests camouflaged behind the sweet talk and concern...
reminded me of fav quote by oprah ---"i dont need someone who'll ride with me in my limo...what i need is someone who'll take the bus with me when my limo breaks down" :)
i realised that probably im not lucky enough...


hmmmm i guess somewhere last week made sure it struck a balance...

friday blues...

MIStaken...

MISunderstood...

MISlead...

MISfortune...

MISfit...

MIShap...

MISadjust...

MISact...

MISjudged...

MISadapt...

MISguided...

MISdeemed...

MISinterpreted...

its strange how most negative impacts/changes start with us MISsing out on some things, but no matter how trivial, always end with us losing a lot more...

TAG-TIME...

I think its about time i executed this tag...was tagged by 'abhishek khanna' quite some time back...


please dont kill me if this sounds boring or if some of it dosent make much sense--the reason being i AM bored right now!
So here goes the tag
Instructions:Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. Name Three Most Valuable Assets?
---attitude
---selfrespect
---character

2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
i would probably decide when i have the chance...:)

3.something which made u laugh today (my question)
a very interesting discussion i had , the topic being 'ram dev baba' and his 'kapaalbhati' technique ...:D

4.Where is the place that you want to go the most?
as of now, HOME!! :)

5.If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
mmm tough one...lemme think..mmm...probably the dream of having all my prayers answered :) [i know i know...i AM smart!]

6.Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
well there are quite a few things i regret and i also regret the fact that i have so many regrets...but most of all i regret the time i trusted people wayy too much.........

7.What are you afraid to lose the most?
my mind...my heart...watever!


8.What would you do if you found a briefcase full of money?
leave it alone...seriously...call me superstitious or dumb or whatever...but i believe something which belongs to someone else can never be yours...it'll just mess everything up...

9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
NO

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
---very humorous and fun loving
---knows how to chill in life
---is a good friend

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
well i dont have any criteria per se and i would expect the same from him...

12.Which type of person do you hate the most?
i hate everyone equally...

13.What is your ambition?
sounds like a 'junior KG' exam question...so here's a 'junior KG' answer---to be a good human being.duh!

14.What is the thing that will make you think someone is a bad person?
if he/she manages to hurt me..because im not hurt that easily...

15.Christmas is coming, who do you like to celebrate with?
u travelling back in time..its january dude...anyways considering this tag was created a long time back...i have celebrated it with the ones i wanted to celebrate it with :)...

16.If you could do one thing different in life, what would it be?
would live life RIGHT, right from the start...so that it leaves me with no regrets...

17.Are you a shopaholic or no?
not really...am more of a 'window shopaholic'...but at times a good shopping spree can serve as therapy--one helluva stressbuster...

18.What is your stress buster?
err i just mentioned...SHOPPING...
besides theres PAMPERING MY SWEET TOOTH...
and SLEEPING THE STRESS OFF...

19.What should be done to people who make such long tags..
they should be made to answer them first :-/

20.Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
mmmm..tomorrow?? lemme check...thursday??...NOPE!

ok now to pass on the tag torture...:p
---ashu
---sam
---blog boy
---vands
---mads
---cm-chap
---ceedy
---raaji

/// deja vu ///

She felt she had been here before...
the same exact spot...the same exact people...everything felt at home...as if she belonged here...
and yet she knew she was a stranger...

She was a friendly person...but it wasent her attitude which made her feel this way...
All the odds were against her...it seemed impossible..she'd never visited this place before and yet...the funny feeling...the kind wch sends flutters down ur throat......the kind u experience while u wait to meet up with the person u love as the clock ticks the minutes and seconds away...
she could strangely relate to everything happening and yet comprehend nothing...
she dint believe in reincarnation nor did she have any of those visions which lead people into believing in rebirth and the sorts...

It was the first time she was experiencing this...she wondered what it could be as the cold air rushed a familiar feeling thru her veins...queer yet equally pleasant...bizarre yet very comfortable...
she felt she was reliving it all over again...strangely she couldent remember living it the first time...still more strangely she dint know what the 'IT' was...

Back home, everone was laughing saying she was reading too much of 'coehlo' and watching too much of fiction...
she tried remembering...her head hurt...but it was blank as ever...nothing!!absolutely NOTHING!

yet the eerie feeling of being in the exact same spot with the exact same person...going through the exact same thing.....the very thought of those 10 seconds just refused to leave...

that day she realised the meaning of deja vu...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Frankly speaking, i dont really believe in 'deja vu' per se!!
yes i know im making a very strong statement here...but no! i have never really experienced it...though have wished i was lucky enough to, when i hear people speaking about it...
and the above piece was sketched purely on the basis of hearsay felt by the experienced...sigh!!*wishful look*

Maybe i havent yet experienced it as such because i have never let the matter lie...i mean i have always looked into it soo deep that somehow could never dispose it off as 'deja vu' before it actually got proven not to be so...maybe ive never learnt to let go of something as just merely a coincidence (believe me this has landed me in many a messy situations where i wished i wouldent let the 'sherlock holmes' in me surface up and search thru my rotten heart and mind for evidences, in the end completely disposing off 'the theory of coincidences' and emerging victorious :-/).though very often im tempted to give the situation a benefit of doubt.maybe because im sometimes more tempted to believe in this thing called 'coincidence' cos thats often the easier and more comfortable way out....
Anyhow let me stop digressing...

Some people claim that its an unexplained theory which noone can comprehend...some insist that its linked with previous lives and stuff (yes dont frown there! people still believe in the supernatural) while yet another set of people thnk its got to do with matters of the heart (somewhat along the lines of love and feelings)...
well i dont think i have the right to ridicule any of their beliefs...
but from what ive read its got to do mainly with matters in the temporal lobe :)...yes im referring to the 'mystery box' up there...

I dont really know whats right and as usual this is another of those situations where 'belief' challenges 'science'...

so to make matters worse and further more confusing, urs truly has managed to google up a page here which cites pretty much whatever she wants to say...especially 'the feeling that one has been there before is often due to the fact that one HAS been there before...

so which side of the fence are u??

just a thought...

life is a canvas with a beautiful splay of colours all over...
.
..
...
....
......
........
..............
..................

but what if one is.......COLOURBLIND????