an evening at the movies...

had gone to watch the stupidest and silliest movie ever made so far...a complete disaster in the name of comedy "123"...
i somehow got about sitting through the movie only because i dint want to be a spoilsport...though must say i tried several ways to amuse moi while trying to distract myself off the movie...
whatt?? seriously! i did...i tried counting the number of ppl in the movie hall just to know how many more idiots (other than me) go to movies starring 'esha deol' and 'tushar kapoor' and their likes (u get the drift dont u? do i need say anymore? :-/)without reading reviews...sigh!

anyhoo after counting the number of ppl in the hall i still had a lotta time to while away...so i was busy observing ppl around me...leave aside the 4 i had come with since they were equally bored and sitting just because we had paid for that crap!
there was this fat guy in a stripped shirt (i guess everybody suffers under the delusion that they look slimmer in longitudinal stripes..sigh)who was busy laughing at the pl's cracked...and know what, u cant even call them pj's actually..because they dont qualify as 'jokes'...hmpf!!
ok so i was busy watching this guy and his reactions and i concluded that he was suffering from 'labile moods'...because he suddenly would go all serious (probably noticing that i was staring at him) and then suddenly laugh hysterically (probably when he thought i wasent staring) without once removing his eyes off the screen...
after concentrating on the 'labile emotions' show for about 5 mins, i got bored...
ok ok i know that its rude staring at ppl too...so i changed my subject of observation...

there was a 5 year old kid who was busy pestering her mom to take her out...i would have gladly obliged actually...but wonder of wonders, the lady just gave her a tight slap and made her sit quietly for the rest of the movie with her...poor kid! :(
now howw boring and soo totally unfair is that,lady?? just because u dont have a sense of humour(and will buy any crap given to u),dosent mean ur 5 yr old shud be smacked for having one...
anyways i dont like to see bawling kids and so i shifted my gaze to the aunty in the front row...(yeah! so now u know how boring the movie was?)
now aunty was apparently having a great sense of humour and believed in 'on the spot venting' and hence was busy cribbing on the phone to her husband (i assumed)...
im sure he must be kissing his stars for not coming along :-/
if only she had spoken a lil more louder, i would be able to catch every word heehee...but the angry guy sitting next to her (by chance not choice)was very keen on hearing the dialogues in the movie and so kept hushing her down...sigh! probably her phone conversation wasent soo interesting afterall!

now i was bored again, and there were no more people to observe closely without me actually falling off my seat (in an attempt to lean and search for more cartoons in the audience)so i tried to concentrate on the movie for a while...
but tanisha's and upen patel's and sameera's and tushar's and esha's (err...almost everyone's)acting really lost me and i was back to square one...BORED!!

The only reasonable acting was by paresh rawal(who is a far better comedian otherwise) and (wonder of wonders!!) sunil shetty...(sigh! see how much they drop ur standards)

ohh there were a coupla funny lines here and there which just manage to make u smile--u know, one of those 'ok fine! see im smiling at ur joke' kinda smiles...but other than that, the film is a total waste and an insult to comedy :(

ohhh and what took the cake was the BIG JOKE OF THE EVENING...no no! not in the movie but in my life...sigh!
this happened during the intermission when my cuz got tired of me yawning and pulled a half sleepy pri to the snack bar hoping that it would wake her up...
urs truly was only too happy that she would get to drown her frustration in that tub of popcorn during the second half of that film...so i happily trudged along...


now my cuz has this mean streak in her and suddenly i found myself all alone in the crowd..so assuming that she had gone to get herself something, i headed towards the popcorn counter...(P.S:when i head towards a food counter, FOOD is all i can see! :D)
so i went there and calmly handed over the money to the guy behind the counter and asked for a tub of my usual 'cheese+tomato' popcorn...
and what i get in return is a broad grin...
ME: "huh? my popcorn?"
GBTC(guy behind the counter):"in a minute maam" (still grinning)
ME:*now wondering why he is still grinning* "err... tomato and cheese"
GBTC still grinning broadly...
suddenly a small impish guy emerges from below the counter..apparently he had bent down to pick up somthing...and i look dumbfounded wondering why they have two guys incharge...sigh!
GBTC: "one plain salted please"
AND THE IMPISH GUY (IG)SPEAKS!
IG: "yes sir..will that be all?
and hands the GBTC his tub...
GBTC: "ohh and one cheese and tomato mixed for the lady here"
and grins broadly at urs truly again....who is now wishing she would just DISSAPEAR!!

sheesh!!! why dont they give these guys uniforms :((

i went off hurridly forgetting all bout my cuz and got back to my seat...hoping i wouldent see that guy anywhere in the hall again...

ohh and the movie..dont ask ...was busy with the popcorn during the second half...and somehow i survived through it :-/

some of my 'less famous' favs...:)

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.---Diego Marchi


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.---Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens] (1835-1910)

Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going. ---Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it----George Santayana (1863-1952)

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.---Jules de Gaultier

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.----carrie 'sex and the city'


well these are just a few of my fav quotes...would love to hear urs :)

"tired!!"

there were tears in her eyes as she dropped down dead...
his suspicious nature killed her they said...
a slash on her wrist with the broken glass in hand...
a token of love to him who'd always question but never understand!


PROMPT taken from 3ww the words being 'glass' 'token' and 'question'

que sera sera!!

Rajeev loved eating out....
that day was special..he was at his fav chinese restaurant with her...everything was going perfect...he had decided to confess his nine yr old love to avani..the only girl he had ever loved...
he was filled with apprehension...a thousand things on his mind...'what if she said no? what if she said she dint expect this? what if on hearing this,she decided not to speak to him ever again??'
sometimes even when u are sure about something,there is still that gnawing feeling of insecurity...fear of the unknown...that 'what if'!!

But today he had to say it...he couldent wait any longer...

"i dont know how to put this...and maybe il'l end up making a fool of myself...because ive been trying to frame this for 9 years now and yet all ive come up with is that i love u avani and i always will"...he smiled nervously waiting for her to say something...he felt lighter having said it...but there was this huge boulder of apprehension and anxiety in place of it now...
" i was waiting to hear this,rajeev..ive always loved u" she said teary eyed..."i thought u would take forever"...

rajeev smiled as he heard these words...he felt like the happiest man in the world.his love was reciprocated..."why dint i say it before?" he thought with a tinge of regret...but even that feeling couldent wash away the happiness he was experiencing today...
he had always been the shy kind...but today , he had finally managed to gather the guts to propose to her...it took 9 years and he thought that she had to know before he left for UK...
the next time they could meet would be only after his 4 year job contract ended...then they would get married...
"il'l miss you" she said...as he slipped the ring in her finger...
"me too"...

the waiter got the fortune cookies at the end of the meal...a regular custom in their fav chinese restaurant...
somehow they looked different..a lot fancier than usual..but then today everything felt different..everything felt special...

"new guy employed esp for these" the manager explained cheerfully pointing at the plate which had two cute-looking cookies sitting on it...
smiling at the happy couple, he added "he seems to add a dash of creativity in whatever he does"...
rajeev grinned...he always found the concept of 'fortune cookies' amusing...

like always he handed avani his cookie...and smiled at her innocent kid in her as she enthusiastically broke hers in two...
"life will change forever" she read the tiny slip of paper in her cookie...and blushed...

"let me check yours" she said giggling...
out came the tiny slip from the crumbling cookie and her face lit up as she read it-----"a huge surprise is coming your way soon"

'naww..what bigger surprise than this' he thought and grinned to himself...*she loves you..she said she always did* the voice in his head kept saying...each time the happiness going doublefold...

they got up to leave...two beaming faces...dreaming about a life together...
"wish u werent leaving tomorrow" she said as they crossed the highway hand in hand...
"wish we dint have to stay apart even for a single second" he whispered back...
.
..
...
....
.......
..........
.............
those were their last words...
.
.....
.......
..........
bright flashlights suddenly blinded them as they stared shocked at the truck speeding towards them...
minutes later a huge noisy rush of people had swarmed around the pool of blood...but it was too late...
the drunk truck driver, aware of his mistake had already sped off without even turning back to see the lifeless couple...
ironically, rajeev and avani had gotten their wish fulfilled...it was the happiest day of their life but unfortunately it was their last one together...atleast in this life...


"why do u always wear black??" asked the curious manager as the new kitchen-staff-addition continued baking a fresh batch of 'fortune cookies'...

no spoiler ahead...i promise!!

hats off to 'abbas mastan' for the movie 'RACE'...
watched it first day second show...and it was totally worth it...

the movie is rocking and keeps u on ur seats edge throughout the 120 minutes (except maybe during the intermission where u r still undecisive if u should go and get ur tub of popcorn lest they start runing the second half a bit too early..yea no kidding!)
For people who enjoy movies playing mind games with u, 'RACE' is THE one u should go watch...
if u dont know what i mean...go book ur tickets for the earliest show and ul'l find out...all in all (apart from some silly jokes wch are i guess inevitable in 'bollywood') the movie is awesome!!! (a 4 on 5 from me)
the star cast is well suited to the role...
the acting is great (except for sameera is wasted and is no better than just a prop :-/)..
the cinematography is rocking...
the script and dialogues are good too...
the songs are okayish though..kinda raunchy (especially the ridiculous 'baby zara touch me touch me touch me' song...lol!! though it is the only catchy number in the film)...but then guess its tough to have everything perfect isnt it? and no worries by the end of the movie, ull forget all about the music :D
and then there are some elements about it that if discussed wouldent be as thrilling...
so wont say much because i want you to go and check it out for urself (i swear they are not paying me to promote it...:-/) and yeah try not reading any reviews before going...not that they would include a spoiler..they cant even if they wanted to...:)

have fun!
and do let me know what u think of it....

cheers!!

too late!!

I, aditya rao sharma, have finally understood that money isnt everything...
my 16 year old daughter is fighting her own battle against drugs...she thinks i killed her mother and hates me for everything...everything ive done..rather everything i should have done but never got about doing...

my son is out living a wasted life...somebody tells me he swears at the very mention of my name...

the last time my parents visited me was 11 years back on shreyas 5th birthday...
all my business associates were present there...i felt ashamed of my parents then and had deliberately forgotten to introduce my dad to anyone around...
my friends dint notice them...but mom and dad??...they noticed ofcourse..but played along...like they always did...
"uve changed aadi".my mom had tears in her eyes while leaving my house..those words still ring in my ears...but they dint matter then..
i dint care...
i had a huge fight with rajni the next morning...she thought i had changed too...she thought i should go over and apologise to dad and ma...
"u dont need to tell me what to do" i'd yelled...
her tear brimmed eyes did all the talking..but i couldent understand their language anymore...i was getting late for work!!

yes i had changed...little did i realise that it was irreversible and i would never be able to get back what i was letting slip away from my hands then...

rajni kept getting irritated with my late working hours...she felt i just dint have time for her...she was right...
i had gone crazy over the thought of success..riches..fame...
family?? i never thought about it and then i was doing it all for them wasent i??

i remember that dreadful night when rajni called me...it was a quarter past 11 and the phone had kept ringing...
15 missed calls on my cell...i had been too busy to answer...
when i reached home,i found the police van at the doorstep...and....rajni's suicide note...
she had got fed up of all the fights..the silence between us had killed her...
that day,i kept wishing i had spoken to her..given her more time..tried to understand her...i saw the missed call list over and over again...and i cried!!

the void in my heart never got filled...i refused to remarry...i had severed all ties with my parents a long time back..and now rajni too had left me...for the first time, i dint want to be alone...

shreyas results at school kept dropping...i never had the time to go and enquire what was wrong...i still remember signing her report card without even giving it a look...
i was always "busy"...
the depression had made me aim higher...more ambitious...i never once thought about shreya and raju...what they must have felt...they must have missed their mom...they must have felt alone...cried for her...and they were just kids then...they needed me the most...oh why dint i notice??
i was too busy making money...seeking revenge on life in my own way...
i wanted to make it big...
i wanted to reach the highest rung of the corporate ladder...
i wanted to attain the wealth and fame i had always dreamt of...
i had begun spinning a web...a web of tangled dreams...tangled because i never realised then what i really wanted...
everyday it swept me in, a little deeper...

i thought money would get me everything...
i thought money would make me miss her less...
i thought i should attain what took rajni away from me---want for success!
i didnt want to lose again...i had lost my love to it already...i wouldent let my dreams lose too...
that was me 6 years back...

today i am at the highest rung of the corporate ladder...
today i have attained all the success i had ever dreamt of...im one of the leading industrialists in the country...
villas, mansions, limousines--ive got them all...
flooded bank accounts and managers to manage them...
but life?? i wish someone would manage my messed up life for me...
i would trade all my money for a little bit of happiness...
my children dont want to see my face...
ive got no friends...just business associates...
somewhere down the line, that web swept me in soo deep,that now i cant break loose from it even if i wanted to...
my wife haunts me every night in my dreams...her sad face...the tears she cried after every fight because she felt i would never understand her...
"money is not everything aadi...the day ull realise this, itll be too late" she had said...

u were right, rajni...it is too late!

PROMPT: taken from '3ww' , the words being 'understood' 'money' and 'tangled'...

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION

55-limited!!

'i am sorry' his voice reflected guilt...

three years of an abusive nonconsumated marriage and she had tolerated it all without a word...just for the sake of society...

but today it all fell in place when she caught him redhanded in bed...with gary...his business partner...

this time there was no turning back!!

i say it best when i say nothing at all...

I came across this interesting stressbuster on la vida loca's blog and with her permission,thought i should give it a shot too...
well i happened to find it as a part of a tag on many blogs and i was almost tempted into taking them up..but then thought maybe sometime later...
right now, its just things which are bottled up in my mind, that i need to vent out...things i wish i could say...things i wish i'd said...things i know i might never get about saying...
reminds me of these lines from a song in the movie 'lakshya'---
" kitni baatein kehni ki hain,
hoton pe jo sehmi si hain,
main kaise inhe bhoolon....
dil ko kya samjhaoo..."

anyways let me proceed...i would prefer not listing the names of the people i wish i could say this to,thus keeping the 'mystery'... err...and also maybe the 'security' elsement alive...lol!!and frankly speaking because it wouldent make sense then...its supposed to be a stressbuster remember?
so u will never get to know who all these are for...so please dont ask :)
so here's to the peace of mind and satisfaction i hope to attain through this...*raises her glass*

1) please stop sending me those stupid fwds...they just occupy too much of my mail space...and do u really think we can still be in touch thru such silly stuff after the way u behaved the other day??

2)if u knew how gayish u sound when u do that 'awwwww' when someone is upset, u wouldent be saying it anymore :-/

3)i hate it when u sing and yaa have even contemplated murderer.heehee...u just wont listen willya?

4)please STOP asking me questions u know il'l never answer...i know u seriously care but u know i dont!!

5)i never wanted you to stop commenting on my posts..just wanted you to come out of the anonymity...but somehow u took it the wrong way and now im feeling bad...

6)i know its all a farce and frankly speaking, i dont believe a word of what u say...but everyone else seems to believe it and u seem to be enjoying the drama...
just sometimes, i think i should give u the benefit of doubt...but i have this gut feeling right from the first time i spoke to u,that screams u are a fake...

7)somewhere i wish u would just ask me if we could start all over again...

8)please stop trying to hook me up with irritating people who desperately try to know me better by asking me what my hobbies are..i seriously am not interested in changing my status as of now...il'l get back to u when i am...okay?

9)thanks for that exaggerated introduction the other day...i now receive almost 15 sms's on a daily basis,almost eight being crappy mushy forwards..and no! im not replying!!

10)i dont hate you because i dont even know u but somewhere within im very angry because u took away from me the only thing i ever wanted...

11)i wish u knew me as much as u think u do...

12)the very fact that u actually dint have table manners put me off..ohh and there were other things as well...u were too loud...too crass...and me..maybe i was too suspicious...

13)dunno why...but i dont feel like confiding in you anymore...

14)ewww...when they speak about ppl with two left feet, i think they have exactly 'you' in mind...heehee

15)i just dont want you to go through what i have...because i know what it is like...

16)i still think of you sometimes and i hate myself for the way i behaved...

17)forgiving isnt easy for me...and forgetting, impossible!!

18)i always admired u for ur success...until the day i got to know how u got there...

19)sometimes i feel bad for u ...other times i remember and feel maybe u deserve it!

20)thanks for setting an example...its only because of you that il'l never get about trusting anyone completely in life...

21)i HATE the jello u make..and i strongly suspect thats exactly the reason u make it everytime...hmpf!!

22)i miss you...not for the person u now are ...but for the person u once were...

23)seriously, u dont have any right to assume ANYTHING about ANYONE'S personal life and just because some people come to u for advice, dosent mean everyone needs it...

24)i could never give u that one gift i had bought for u...if only i knew it really was the last time we were meeting...

25)the only good thing about losing you was now im no longer afraid of losing you anymore...

26)the reason i was always soo cold towards you was because i had heard u pass a very cheap comment on a primigravida during our obstetrics posting...that day i understood how low u can stoop...
and u thought i was showing attitude??

27)u know everything and yet...??

28)i can never forgive u for that incident in the reading room no matter how many times u apologise...and even though i say that its all okay,both of us know YOU ruined the friendship...and all for the sake of 5 bloody marks in that damn ortho viva???

29)those words u said to me on the first day of medical school still ring in my ears everytime anyone speaks about u...and when someone shows soo much respect towards u, i just wish i could tell them what a b***h u actually are...u are nothing but a DISGRACE to the teaching staff...

30)ok i ate that 'toblerone' u had hidden from me :-/

31)u dont understand...u never did...and u probably never will...half the times u hurt me, u dint even realise it...

32)you are such a irritating clown at times but the only reason i dont ever tell u that is because i know u just try to make me smile and im thankful...but believe me, there are times when i feel like hitting you left, right and centre!! :-/

33)u promised to keep writing but i knew u'd forget to keep this one too...

34)someday u would realise why i did what i did and that day u wont be angry with me anymore...

35)i dont know if its my good luck that i have u in my life or ur bad luck that u have me in urs...thanks for being sucha good friend inspite of everything...

ok thats all for now...i feel better...it feels lighter speaking out things u want to say but havent...
and now that ive listed them out neatly, maybe i will probably gather the courage and say some of them to the people they are meant to be said to...
and the others??...the others will remain on my blog...having the status of an enigma...

and then there are those which cant be said even on here...they'l just remain in the heart...locked up...and leave me only when i leave...for good...for ever! :)


UPDATED:im disabling comments to this post as i do not want anyone to comment on it as these are my personal feelings and this was intended just to be a destressor to help me get things off my mind...
for those who commented, ur posted comments would still appear in the comment section...because i wouldent want to delete them...:)
but incase u thinking this to be a hate post,look again...
and ul'l find feelings of guilt, remorse and regret in there too...
and then there are things i wished i said but as luck, fate and life would have it, couldent get about saying...
i admit most might sound bitter...but they sound exactly the way i feel...and the least i want to do is pretend or mask the hurt..atleast not on here...
one comment suggested that i am probably not disclosing names on here thinking that i might lose something i already have with me..if this was the case, then im sorry u think this way...because frankly speaking,it dosent really bother me whether anyone judges me or not...
i have already lost what i had to lose and believe can never lose what im not supposed to...
so u are free to think whatever u like..it dosent really matter...
thanks for those who understand me and for those who dont, its okay too...I understand...
P.S: this is not in offence to any of ur comments..but ya ur comments did trigger off a thought (and thoughts are always welcome)...take care!:)

the 'TRUCE' tag!!

its about time i took up this tag '10 things i like about the opposite sex' as i had kinda agreed to do it aeons ago and before the procrastination seems like avoidance(as is being suspected by most already),let me try to spread peace between the venutians and martians all over blogsville...heehee

so here i go...
kindly note that all the below mentioned points are very rare to find in one particular individual and so one should have the same 'dont generalise' attitude just like u had while reading the tag '10 things i hate about guys'....:p
ok ok, jokes apart, (*pri opens her thankyou speech*)i guess i am lucky to know some guys who pretty much have all these qualities in them...

1)i like the fact that u are so protective about ur mother, sister, girlfriend, friend-who-is-a-girl etc etc...
i know that most of the times we like to believe we are staunch feminists and we dont need ur protection and security and though we can very well take care of ourselves,every girl does want to let off her guard somtimes knowing that there is someone to take care of things...

2)i like it when u tolerate my mood swings and temper flashes without saying a word...
yes i know, i can get pretty crazy sometimes(err..ok ok most of times)...but i am thankful u are blessed with a sense of patience much greater than mine...

3)i like it when u allow me to talk and talk and talk...and then request me to shut up a while so that u can speak..heehee
whether u actually listen to me or not, i have never really bothered to investigate...
but i think you understand me when u say that ocassional "hmm" :-/

4)i like when u yell at me when im being silly or stupid...
as much as i like to believe i am always right, sometimes i know i am wrong and want you to tell me that...


5)i like that u always manage to get me curious to know what u are upto...u somehow seem to make even a simple boring monday morning sound so interesting and complicated...*grin*

6)i am pretty much impressed and envious too that u know soo much about 'sports'...
i admit i always sucked at sports and used to barely pass in 'PhysicalTraining' at school and that too i have serious doubts that the 'E' grade i got in PT(almost always)was only because they considered my academic success otherwise and felt sorry for me :(
i know some venutians might not relate to this...esp the other 64 girls in my class because they were always better than me at those stupid games :( :( :(
but having shared this secret with u, i feel lighter and i would like you more if you dont bring it up again in the future...hmpf!!


7)i appreciate that u hardly ever dig up past fights or arguments...and everytime we meet up, you speak asif the last fight never happened...i seriously doubt ur memory but am happy that u have a bad one when it comes to these...heehee...

8)i like the fact that u are never really bothered/conscious of ur appearance...
please do not get confused..i do NOT appreciate ur laziness...but i do admire ur confidence...*grin*
really...have u yet seen a guy who wouldent answer the door just because he hasent shaved? or one who wouldent pose for a pic just because he thinks his hair is in a mess or that he has dark circles around his eyes and stuff??...:-/

9)i like it when u consider me close enough to talk about your problems, issues, life, future...because it makes me feel important and trusted...sharing secrets would gain u brownie points and 100% assurance that i wouldent post them on 'postasecret.com' for u...

10)finally though i might seldom say this..i like it that you...
---get possesive about me without being scary(making sure u give me my space)...
---get worried if i am upset but try to show asif it'll all be okay...
---get irritated with my 'stuck up attitude' at times but hardly ever complain...
---are always around to lend a helping hand in case i ask...
---will always give me an unbiased opinion about things even when u are tempted to say otherwise...
---are sucha good sport and can accept critism at its worst if its coming from the people u love...
---are a wonderful friend and no matter what, i can confide in you...
and last but not the least, that you never give up on me even though (i admit)i can really be a crybaby at times...

with all the points given and the tag executed successfully,im sure all u guys must be beaming with pride and hoping that the women in ur life must be feeling pretty much the same about u...
just two words for u then---THEY DO!
no matter what we say or dont say, no matter how much we crib...we know that u guys can be the best father/brother/son/buddy/partner if u want to...
we also understand nobody can be the 'raymonds' man...everyone has their limitations, flaws, imperfections...
so just because we often stress on things we dont like, dosent mean we dont appreciate you...
what say girls?? :)

so...now that i have declared 'truce' and in sucha aprreciative way, i will tag!! heehahaha :D
solitaire (the brain who initiated the idea!)
anuj (as promised and warned!)
veens (the cutie who is worried about her 'graha disha' these days ;P)
divya (someone who always cheers me up with her innocent posts)
sam (who will hopefully not miss reading this ;p)
abishek khanna (after he gets back from his convocation)

and whosoever is interested in taking it up is free to do so :)

cheers!

the A-Z tag!!

im supposed to be on a holiday and all im doing is getting worked up on those small things going wrong...sigh!
anyways i guess thats the usual story when im away from home..
hopefully things will be back to normal by the time i get back...sometimes i wonder whether these 'breaks' actually do more harm than good...

ok anyways, im too bored to go anywhere right now and too lazy to get out of bed...yeps u guessed right..ive been lazying around all morning :D
so keeping up to the lazy status and to keep up the act of trying to look busy actually doing something important err like say searching for a new job or stuff,let me take up this tag...heehee
ok i noticed it being passed around on some blogs and couldent resist stealing it ;)
so here goes...(sigh! i know...i still have to do another tag...would u believe me if i told u i had written the whole damn things-- '10 things i like about guys' and it just dint get saved?serious!...but il'l write it once more when i feel a lil less frustrated ok?)
ok so read on and get ready to be tagged...muhahaha *evil laugh*

the rules are simple---
u just got to answer what every question demands...and its called the A-Z tag because i guess it covers up all the questions from A to Z..err..almost..
wonder who came up with such weird questions though..yeah yeah some of them are pretty stupid! :D

A-AVAILABLE??: err..well thats what my gtalk status says...what are u talking about??

B-BEST FRIEND: hmm..someone might be reading and would get offended if i happen to miss their name out..we got a bad memory..what to do? we are like that only! :(
btw did u know there was a book by that name "we are like that only"?? **DIGRESSION..ALERT ALERT!!**
oops ok ok sorry!

C-CAKE OR PIE?: ummm..cake and make that chocolate walnut dripping with gooey chocolate icing...WHAAT??im NOT sharing!so dont look at me like that :-/

D-DRINK OF CHOICE: tea in the morning,water with lunch/dinner,black coffee if im staying up at night...

E-ESSENTIAL THINGS USED EVERYDAY: err..clothes,deo,internet(heehee) and my brain(ofcourse!)

F-FAVOURITE COLOUR: blue (preferably sky-blue)

G-GUMMI BEARS OR WORMS?: both...they dont make a difference...

H-HOMETOWN: west coast-india!

I-INDULGENCE: books, music and interesting conversations (where usually im allowed to do most of the talking..heehee..kidding!)

J-JAN OR FEB?: february...if u know me enough, ul'l know why...

K-KIDS AND NAMES: umm il'l ask them to choose :p

L-LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT: MOI!! *heehahahaha*

M-MARRIAGE DATE:would u stop reading my blog if i told u i was already married??? :(
no right?
then why are u asking stupid questions??

N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: one(the evil di!) *thankgod for only one of her kinds*

O-ORANGES OR APPLES: crunchy apples

P-PHOBIAS: lost some along the way...gained some along the way :)

Q-QUOTE: 'i think...therefore i am!'

R-REASON TO SMILE: the people i love...

S-SEASON: monsoons (and i think staying indoors all the time during monsoons is a waste!!)

T-TAG 3 PEOPLE: solitaire, kook and cindrella

U-UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME:hmmm how much do u know me??

V-VEGETABLE U DO NOT LIKE: turnip

W-WORST HABIT:---> procrastination...
--->ultrapossesiveness when it comes to people i love most...
(difficult to decide which is worse)

X-XRAYS UVE HAD: xray chest (PA and LATERAL views), xray left ankle (LATERAL), xray abdomen (PA view)
as a medical student, i had this 'i-better-go-and-confirm' attitude (read 'OCD')everytime i sneezed or hurt myself and having the radiology dept (free! free!)just a hop, skip and jump from the hostel sure helped! heehee

Y-YOUR FAV FOOD: mom made :)

Z-ZODIAC: u believe in star signs??
heck! neways, GEMINI! *searches frantically for her copy of 'linda goodman'*


cheers!!

dear bloggers,
im sorry the post 'story time' couldent work out...there were some technical difficulties which i couldent handle...
and then, there were some 'not-so-technical' difficulties which i couldent handle as well..
'story time' did teach me a thing or two about some people i dint know enough...
i guess it did turn out to be 'unpredictable' afterall...lol!!
my apologies(for stopping it soo abruptly) and thanks (for participating) to those uninvolved...
take care!

just a lil note :)

my other blog 'this whole new world' is feeling all alone and lonely :(
and has been screaming attention too in the side column, if u havent noticed...hmpf!!
so do visit it also...

hope it will be liked as much as 'nostalgic moments'...
will be updating it too from now on :)

and 'endevourme' 'divya' 'vands' and 'mez', dont forget to check it...u guys have been tagged already :D

cheers!!

"experimental error??"---UPDATE!!

ok i thought i should post this update because my last post managed to hit some people pretty much the wrong way...

a few (precisely 3) of them emailed me their responses and swore me to secrecy about mentioning their names here..so they will go undisclosed...
a coupla friends were all confused and wanted to know if something they had done was right or wrong because they pretty much couldent figure it out themselves...
before u start labelling me 'blogsville agony aunt', let me tell u that u dont confide in agonyaunts as much as u do in friends...so i take pride in being the 'friend' and appreciate the response...
one conversation went like this (name undisclosed and conversation cut short to maintain confidentiality and avoid irrelevance)

BRICKBAT:pri, i read ur latest post
ME: mmm...ok? and??
BRICKBAT: and? i pretty much ended up all the more frustrated and bugged after reading it...
ME:why so??? *sounding a bit offended*
BRICKBAT:i dunno..felt very much there and honestly, am kinda afraid what u said might just come true...
ME: hmmm...but i thought u always said she misunderstood it all...
BRICKBAT: well yaa but she still says i played with her feelings dosent she?
ME: see brickbat,it dosent matter what she says...what matters is what it actually was...
BRICKBAT:*interrupting me* what do u think pri? was i in the wrong??will it all come back to me?
ME: u gotta find out for urself brickbat...as a friend, i could be biased...and she could be biased too because she is hurt...but YOU...u are the one who knows 'brickbat' best...u know what it was...u know what it is...
BRICKBAT:hmm i guess u are right...
ME:hmm so??
BRICKBAT:i dunno pri...i just know maybe im being selfish but i dont want it to happen to me ...ever!
ME: nobody does :)
**silence!!**
ME: but can i ask u something?
BRICKBAT:hmm...
ME:im curious to know...ive heard some people compare 'love' this way though unintentionally...tell me honestly did u ever, even for a moment consider it an 'experiment'??

and brickbat chose not to answer that...

i guess probably he needs time to think for himself...and then again, i dont really need to know that...he does!! :)

coming back to the point,while some managed to stay out of the whole debate without commenting and expressing their opinion,there were a few others who decided to be outright blunt and pass rude comments like "thats the way people rant when they are bitter" and "thats ridiculous and i think u are talking crap" etc etc...
hmm seems like i hit a soft spot somewhere...(if u can assume things about me, i pretty much can do the same cant i?)
there were a few who expressed their strong dissaproval on the validity of the post saying that love could never be considered an experiment...
i wish all the people i have known in life thought exactly the way u do...then perhaps,i would never be writing this post in the first place :)

i was tempted to wait for a few days to check out further responses to this post...but then looking at the response till now(unfortunately mostly through email and conversations)and that too in just 24hrs,i decided to put up this update as soon as possible...it wouldent require a genius to know what kept me busy all day...

so without further delay,i would like to try and clear all doubts and confusion on this topic by saying just one thing...
dont worry about what i have to say...
rather think for urself for a change...
somewhere the small little voice in your head will speak out if only u try...and the truth will stand out...
u dont need to believe ur bitter ex because probably she is only 'bitter'...
u dont need to believe some random blogger, pri because probably she is only 'random'...
u just need to ask urself...because that is when u are most honest and yes there is no 'probably' here :)

like a fellowblogger while commenting said, "its all in you" :)
thanks for the honest responses...

experimental error???

Some people think 'love' is an experiment...
instead of letting 'love' find them, they start their own search...their search for love...experimenting on the way...playing games...faking feelings...leading innocent hearts into believing them...and then finally ending it...because ultimately it is nothing but an experiment to them and 'experiments' cant go on forever...

here is to all those people who love to experiment with feelings...with emotions...with love...
u think u learn a lot in the process dontya??


when the 'experiment' is on,
u learn what exactly to say to make him/her happy...
u learn how much u need love in your life...
u learn how much u had missed the care all those years u dint have it...
u learn how much u had craved for that attention...
u learn how good it feels to know someone loves u with all they have...
u learn that there is someone ready to turn his/her back to the whole world for u...
u learn how happy u feel with that someone in ur life...

when the 'experiment' finally ends,
u learn what not to say...
u learn the value of tears...
u learn the importance of caring...
u learn how much ur promise meant to someone
u learn how badly it hurt someone u love when u broke their heart...
u learn that no matter what, someone will always love u...
u learn that someone might never be able to forgive u for 'the experiment'...
u learn that someone could give up their life just to see u happy...
u learn how u could mean the world to someone...
u learn that u have the capacity to destroy a life...
u learn the meaning of 'love'...
u learn to believe that it happened because it was destined to happen that way and that u arnt responsible for it...

and one fine day, several years later,
u will learn that u eventually do feel guilty only to find out its too late...
u will learn never to laugh at someones emotions...
u will learn never to challenge the power of love...
u will learn never to make promises u cant keep cos by then you will have been at the receiving end somewhere in another story...
u will learn to be responsible for ur actions cos by then you will have experienced the hurt through someones irresponsibility...
u will learn never to mock at feelings cos by then you will have felt the pain of being mocked at...
u will learn that you yearn for those times again...
u will learn that its too late to repent...
u will learn that neither u nor the other could ever move on like planned...
u will learn that some things...some people...will haunt you forever, even when not around...
u will learn that inspite of all the maturity gained through the experience, the experiment was NEVER worth the bargain...

and it is then that u will realise that love is not about 'experimenting' with someones emotons...with someones trust...with someones feelings...

but then its too late...the 'experiment' almost always has already backfired by then!!


P.S:written for 'sundayscribblings' inspired by the prompt--"the experiment"
(special thanks to 'solitaire' and the readers who commented on her post here who managed to convince me that perhaps what goes around, does come around!!)

SHE!!

someone with the potenial to smile through all the pain
someone with the strength to fall and fight again...
someone who wont give up on life's narrow lane..
someone with the power to make a boon from every bane...

a mother, a teacher, a lover, a friend...
someone u will find at every bend...
a helping hand u wont need twice to ask...
someone who wont rest till she finishes every task...

a dutiful daughter, a doting wife...
someone who'll stand by u till the end of life...
someone soo strong yet seems so meek
someone who'll surprise u dare u consider her weak...

someone who hurts , someone who cries...
someone who can speak volumes through her eyes...
an innocent heart which sometimes refuses to mend...
but springs up everytime its loved one to defend...

someone u can confide in when life isnt fair...
someone who for u will always be there...
a friend who will wait all day and talk...
and never leave u alone on life's lonely sidewalk...

im proud to be that someone in every way...
and would choose to be 'her' any given day...
the will, the might, the strength to be...
noone can challenge the power of 'she'...

YES, IM PROUD TO BE A WOMAN! :)

PROMPT: taken from '3wordwednesday' the words being 'twice', 'rest' and 'sidewalk' to gear up for the proud ocassion of 'international womans day' on 8th march :)

on 'growing up'...

Today il'l just let meredith do the talking for me...because she pretty much sums up almost exactly whatever i want to say on it :)
yeah,ive been watching reruns again...sigh!

so here is how she puts it (and i couldent agree more)...

"I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."

"After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move out, we move away from our families. But the basic insecurities, the fears and all the old wounds just grow up with us. Just when you think life has forced you to truly become an adult, your mother says something like that. We get bigger, taller, older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in."

"You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be -- white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming -- they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true."

"In some ways we grow up; we have families... we get married, divorced... but for the most part we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling... forever wondering, forever... young."

"There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, you’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?"

---DR MEREDITH GREY-'GREY'S ANATOMY'

Are we really as strong as we want to be?
many a times we feel we are no longer emotionally vulnerable, no longer weak...but then something happens and proves to us how wrong we are...
When will life quit playing games with us??
dirty games which scar not only the heart but pretty much mess up the mind as well...
why cant we just turn our backs to things...people...twists of fate...and just move on??
why do we keep going back?
memories, diary entries, dejavu like feelings---excuses which the heart seeks to revert back...and no amount of burning up stuff can ever lead to the burning out of those moments which once upon a time made us feel special...

Sometimes NOTHING is therapeutic...leave alone time!!