ok i thought i should post this update because my last post managed to hit some people pretty much the wrong way...
a few (precisely 3) of them emailed me their responses and swore me to secrecy about mentioning their names here..so they will go undisclosed...
a coupla friends were all confused and wanted to know if something they had done was right or wrong because they pretty much couldent figure it out themselves...
before u start labelling me 'blogsville agony aunt', let me tell u that u dont confide in agonyaunts as much as u do in friends...so i take pride in being the 'friend' and appreciate the response...
one conversation went like this (name undisclosed and conversation cut short to maintain confidentiality and avoid irrelevance)
BRICKBAT:pri, i read ur latest post
ME: mmm...ok? and??
BRICKBAT: and? i pretty much ended up all the more frustrated and bugged after reading it...
ME:why so??? *sounding a bit offended*
BRICKBAT:i dunno..felt very much there and honestly, am kinda afraid what u said might just come true...
ME: hmmm...but i thought u always said she misunderstood it all...
BRICKBAT: well yaa but she still says i played with her feelings dosent she?
ME: see brickbat,it dosent matter what she says...what matters is what it actually was...
BRICKBAT:*interrupting me* what do u think pri? was i in the wrong??will it all come back to me?
ME: u gotta find out for urself brickbat...as a friend, i could be biased...and she could be biased too because she is hurt...but YOU...u are the one who knows 'brickbat' best...u know what it was...u know what it is...
BRICKBAT:hmm i guess u are right...
ME:hmm so??
BRICKBAT:i dunno pri...i just know maybe im being selfish but i dont want it to happen to me ...ever!
ME: nobody does :)
**silence!!**
ME: but can i ask u something?
BRICKBAT:hmm...
ME:im curious to know...ive heard some people compare 'love' this way though unintentionally...tell me honestly did u ever, even for a moment consider it an 'experiment'??
and brickbat chose not to answer that...
i guess probably he needs time to think for himself...and then again, i dont really need to know that...he does!! :)
coming back to the point,while some managed to stay out of the whole debate without commenting and expressing their opinion,there were a few others who decided to be outright blunt and pass rude comments like "thats the way people rant when they are bitter" and "thats ridiculous and i think u are talking crap" etc etc...
hmm seems like i hit a soft spot somewhere...(if u can assume things about me, i pretty much can do the same cant i?)
there were a few who expressed their strong dissaproval on the validity of the post saying that love could never be considered an experiment...
i wish all the people i have known in life thought exactly the way u do...then perhaps,i would never be writing this post in the first place :)
i was tempted to wait for a few days to check out further responses to this post...but then looking at the response till now(unfortunately mostly through email and conversations)and that too in just 24hrs,i decided to put up this update as soon as possible...it wouldent require a genius to know what kept me busy all day...
so without further delay,i would like to try and clear all doubts and confusion on this topic by saying just one thing...
dont worry about what i have to say...
rather think for urself for a change...
somewhere the small little voice in your head will speak out if only u try...and the truth will stand out...
u dont need to believe ur bitter ex because probably she is only 'bitter'...
u dont need to believe some random blogger, pri because probably she is only 'random'...
u just need to ask urself...because that is when u are most honest and yes there is no 'probably' here :)
like a fellowblogger while commenting said, "its all in you" :)
thanks for the honest responses...
23 comments:
Hey Pri, You know your post got me thinking. There are some people who like to experiment right? But there are also some people who LOVE to be the subjects of those experiment. They then love the pity, sympathy, and the attention they get when the experiment is a failure and the "poor subject" is left abandoned. And yet when another experimenter comes around, they say "pick me pick me" knowing very well that the experiment is headed in the same direction. But they are so used to that experiment, that they are afraid to try another one!!
God Pri, you an agony aunt?!!!
noh noh..you are my friend!
well I guess...its for "them" to reply who r offended. i m not.
"Itz all in you"
In response to Solitaire's comment...
I don't understand how the people on receiving end know that?
I don't know...if its a stupid qs...please ignore.
@ solitaire
yes i agree with u...the fact that some people never learn holds true for both...
and im of the opinion that both should be ignored if crossed a limit because then there is more 'harm' than good...
ur tag coming soon---this is the promo before the premiere ;P
@ veens
i couldent be an agony aunt even if i wanted to...im not good at sympathising with ppl for long and frankly speaking, after a point i start getting bored of the drama and thats when i start banging heads and pulling hair...err not mine though...heehee
but u know often thats more therapeutic ...atleast when it comes to friends...isnt it? ;p
Exzactly.
I have the same problem.. i get bored of my own small tete-e-tete..
but if itzz genuine one's!
i guess i wud do anything. to get them their and MY peace of mind :)
well lifezz a bundle of problems and we r here.. to jus forget the.. y cant everr one jus do that :-)
we will all be a happy smiley family then.
oops i commented on the earlier post without reading this one :)
Ha Ha... Pri, after this update now u defntly deserve "Blogville Aunt" or even "Blogville Philospher"... That's on the lighter side... Dnt take it serious. bcoz I knw what can happen if u take it serious... *** Those chat box comments r blinking infront of me***
I'm sure posts like this can raise self doubts, but dnt u thnk even ppl who spoke to u abt that are better than ppl who dnt even realise or think they wud hv hurt someone. (call it guilt feeling or anytg).
what you call experiment in spiritual terms means a total different thing - like I said it all how one perceives it......can be valid and invalid.......
pyar mohabbat sab bakwaas hai.. chill maro aish karo..
@ veens
yes ur right veens..i wish we thought like that more often :)
@ divya
no problem...i read that comment :)
and divs, everybody regrets for things gone wrong (intentional or not) at some point or the other...
the later the realisation, the worse it can get...
take care dear!
and keep smiling :)
@ cm-chap
*embarrased* ul'l never let me forget that willya? :D
ohh and ya, i apreciate their honesty...and then guess it affected them only because they still have a conscience alive...
as for those who have been there and yet deny, im pretty sure they realise too (and they dont need anyone telling them that)...but probably they are just trying to run away from the feeling...
@ ceedy
well i guess u were trying to see the positive in the experiment in ur comment to the last post...
but honestly speaking, i dint like the way u compared love to 'food' and other materialistic things...
material things dont hurt...people do!!
take care!
@ abhishek khanna
im shocked at ur attitude...i thought it had changed ;)
sure expected your anger...that was obvious..(because you have an insider information - that makes you biased - i am not connecting dots)
but ask a person who does not have proper food - and proper clothing and shelter.....love for him/her will be the last thing their mind.....ask them what hurts......
@Pri
You were always smart while choosing the words, and must admit that i like this quality of yours.
Your post again got me thinking, Pri, the person, who can be so truthful while writing the post, how can she be biased.
And doc, it wasnt a disapproval at the first place, it was a disagreement. :)
and now u cant get out of it so randomly too, as few of my responses still awaiting ur disapproval :P
@Solitaire
Well said, but is it so true?
u are right.everyone should think for themselves what we have done because only we know that......
@ ceedy
when i said material things dont hurt, it was supposed to mean 'material things dont (get) hurt...ppl do!'
and yes i try my best not to be biased while giving my views and definitely not on sumthing i know from before...yes maybe i do get a lil biased on what the person says every new time i have to reply...because its only fair to do that :)
i wasent angry with ur comment just a bit disaapointed u think that way...
as for the 'monetarily underpriviledged' connection,
if we go on this way, i think we would end up debating on the 'national immmunisation schedule' :p (sorry if im missing a point)
@ ankur
thanks ankur..im flattered...
as for post, i wasent talking about u in particular when i said 'disapproval'...infact i pretty much understood what u meant knowing ur ideas on the topic and i really respect that :)
on the other hand, im not really angry or bugged on the others too...because they cared to be honest...
jus thought they should think for themselves :)
@ adi
yes adi..thats basically the whole point...im glad u realise that...:)
@ Veens, some people do understand what they are getting themselves into because they want to be in that cycle. That is the known to them, so no matter how unpleasant, they choose to get into it again and again rather than facing the unknown.
@ solitaire
ok now this is where i get confused :(
what exactly do u mean by 'unknown', solitaire??
@Pri
My Pleasure :)
If thinking for oneself would have been so easy, then we would never find ourselves alone in this world. Sometimes you have to make them think, and thats what you did with your post!!!
Congrats Pri, you made them think!!!
:)
Yes, it is kinda confusing.
For someone who is used to always being put down, being abandoned, being cheated on, the unknown would be a relationship with someone who would respect them, value them, and taken them seriously. As ironic as it seems, since they are not used to being treated this way, and somehow have believed that they do not deserve this, they might try and avoid being in that situation.
@ solitaire
often people end up being soo affected that they dont want to enter into any relationship until they are strong enough...i guess thats pretty much justified...
but i understand what ur trying to say here...
there are some who think that they dont deserve any better and cling on to something no matter how bad just because they accept it as their FATE! i think that is stupid...
on that note, try reading 'the witch of portobello' by paulo coehlo, if u havent already ...
@Pri, nahi re..stupid nahi hai. Its just a natural reaction that they develop.
Anyway, looks like that story blog was also an experimental error. :(
@ solitaire
no... 'story time' was pretty much a success and was gr8 fun taking the story fwd with u people untill some decided to get their own thing going which unfortunately they thought was more interesting...so i thought i should let them continue with it, but not on my blog and definitely not with me!
i wish i could put up the entire story...but neways...
loved the way u people commented...and yes, maybe il'l do it again some other time :)
but only hope veens and ankur wont play stupid tricks again...(but they are welcome on my blog neverthless cos i know they meant it to be a harmless joke)
but i seriously wish ceedy would spare me the torture of his assumptions...not that i care!
but i dont think he has any right to say things and assume that my posts are orchestrated and stuff...
and if thats so, then he better pack his bags(in his own words) for good and never come back!thatll save him the trouble of deleting his comments too...
dont believe in 'not taking' names and making the matter seem obscure and senseless...
if this started on the blog, it better be clarified on here itsself rather than mail...so please, stop mailing me about this and expecting a reply (this is for all 3 of u)
its best that this matter is closed forever!and hopefully forgotten too...
OMG! for a minutue I thought you were yelling at me! And i thought, "maine kab email kiya use"?
Anyway, I hope you are ok about it now. I am sure it was upsetting but I always tell people that when many people are involved in something, there absolutely nothing we can do to control others' actions and thoughts.
I really cannot comment much on this because I am not even sure of what transpired.
Cheer up! Aaj Aamir ka birthday hai na..
@ solitaire
lol!! ofcourse not sweets...i wouldent yell at u for nothing :)
and heyy it was not the emails which got me bugged but the preceeding situation it turned out to be, got me too bugged to reply and felt it was hypocritic to send in mails after someone is so impulsive to hurt me without even finding out the real thing...
neways chuck it...
oye aamir ke budday ki party kahan hain?? :)
was expecting a treat from u...virtual hi sahi :p
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