March 19, 2008

too late!!

I, aditya rao sharma, have finally understood that money isnt everything...
my 16 year old daughter is fighting her own battle against drugs...she thinks i killed her mother and hates me for everything...everything ive done..rather everything i should have done but never got about doing...

my son is out living a wasted life...somebody tells me he swears at the very mention of my name...

the last time my parents visited me was 11 years back on shreyas 5th birthday...
all my business associates were present there...i felt ashamed of my parents then and had deliberately forgotten to introduce my dad to anyone around...
my friends dint notice them...but mom and dad??...they noticed ofcourse..but played along...like they always did...
"uve changed aadi".my mom had tears in her eyes while leaving my house..those words still ring in my ears...but they dint matter then..
i dint care...
i had a huge fight with rajni the next morning...she thought i had changed too...she thought i should go over and apologise to dad and ma...
"u dont need to tell me what to do" i'd yelled...
her tear brimmed eyes did all the talking..but i couldent understand their language anymore...i was getting late for work!!

yes i had changed...little did i realise that it was irreversible and i would never be able to get back what i was letting slip away from my hands then...

rajni kept getting irritated with my late working hours...she felt i just dint have time for her...she was right...
i had gone crazy over the thought of success..riches..fame...
family?? i never thought about it and then i was doing it all for them wasent i??

i remember that dreadful night when rajni called me...it was a quarter past 11 and the phone had kept ringing...
15 missed calls on my cell...i had been too busy to answer...
when i reached home,i found the police van at the doorstep...and....rajni's suicide note...
she had got fed up of all the fights..the silence between us had killed her...
that day,i kept wishing i had spoken to her..given her more time..tried to understand her...i saw the missed call list over and over again...and i cried!!

the void in my heart never got filled...i refused to remarry...i had severed all ties with my parents a long time back..and now rajni too had left me...for the first time, i dint want to be alone...

shreyas results at school kept dropping...i never had the time to go and enquire what was wrong...i still remember signing her report card without even giving it a look...
i was always "busy"...
the depression had made me aim higher...more ambitious...i never once thought about shreya and raju...what they must have felt...they must have missed their mom...they must have felt alone...cried for her...and they were just kids then...they needed me the most...oh why dint i notice??
i was too busy making money...seeking revenge on life in my own way...
i wanted to make it big...
i wanted to reach the highest rung of the corporate ladder...
i wanted to attain the wealth and fame i had always dreamt of...
i had begun spinning a web...a web of tangled dreams...tangled because i never realised then what i really wanted...
everyday it swept me in, a little deeper...

i thought money would get me everything...
i thought money would make me miss her less...
i thought i should attain what took rajni away from me---want for success!
i didnt want to lose again...i had lost my love to it already...i wouldent let my dreams lose too...
that was me 6 years back...

today i am at the highest rung of the corporate ladder...
today i have attained all the success i had ever dreamt of...im one of the leading industrialists in the country...
villas, mansions, limousines--ive got them all...
flooded bank accounts and managers to manage them...
but life?? i wish someone would manage my messed up life for me...
i would trade all my money for a little bit of happiness...
my children dont want to see my face...
ive got no friends...just business associates...
somewhere down the line, that web swept me in soo deep,that now i cant break loose from it even if i wanted to...
my wife haunts me every night in my dreams...her sad face...the tears she cried after every fight because she felt i would never understand her...
"money is not everything aadi...the day ull realise this, itll be too late" she had said...

u were right, rajni...it is too late!


PROMPT: taken from '3ww' , the words being 'understood' 'money' and 'tangled'...

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just wow! Pri.. beautiful use of the prompt.. seriously!

"money isn't everything honey... and when u realize it.. i m afraid ti will be too late"
so true!

:(

paisley said...

i am so hoping that this is fiction... a story too true to real life... but i am hoping beyond hope... it hasn't happened to you.....

Cosmic Joy said...

Very nicely narrated. It sends a good message across.

UL said...

money does mess one up, doesnt it?

Lena said...

its amazing... just wow is not enough! you said it all.. for many people money and success are above everything.. when they realise this they are left with nothing besides this.

Junius said...

kkaran johar giving offer fr next blockbuster haa??
gud one :D!! btw from wher did that name aditya came? i got movie kuchnakaho in my mind...wondering why!

Keshi said...

beautifully written!

**but life?? i wish someone would manage my messed up life for me...


I agree. alot of ppl chase after materialistic needs n wants until it's too late to LIVE.


Keshi.

Ankur said...

U know wat Pri, i hate you to write this, this sounds so depressing and so true!!! :(
:(

But yes, this is how the materialistic world moves, where the children shld be given freedom to do with their lives what they want to, money is wat u need at the end of the day, children have the fear of topping the charts, wife is only a thing for homecoming or some swapping...

This is the truth of life, and this is wat our lives are moving towards!!! :(

Sometimes, when you know the truth, you still hate it. :(

Pri said...

@ veens
thanks veens :)

@ paisley
no and thankgod it hasent :)
this is purely a work of fiction...

@ cosmicjoy
thanks for appreciating...
sometimes we get soo lost in the ratrace that we tend to forget whats most important...

@ ul
yes it does...it makes the world go round...and often it topples evertything during the rotation :)

Pri said...

@ lena
i agree lena..everybody realises at some point or the other..but for some, it comes a little too late...and thats what makes the difference...

@ endevourme
'kuch na kaho' is that movie starring AB baby and ash rite?? :D
who is aditya there??

ohh and do u think this could prove a KJO blocbuster...nawww! i would have to write a bubblegum wrapper movie script for that ;)

@ keshi
thanks dear...
was just trying to drive across a 'real' point through a piece of 'fiction'...:)

@ ankur
i agree ankur...but its only when we hate it enough that we get about doing something to change it...
but most often people are more in love with the perks than afraid of the risk of damage it can bring...and that is the main reason of the tempt...

Ankur said...

But Pri

this is like so so depressing, god... it was like a hindi movie right there in front of my eyes, and i couldnt imagine more.

U know, i really cant listen to, when u said, she suicide, omg... the pain which is going to be there with that person, cant dream of it and dont wanna even...

U know, the daughter, without a mother, how much pain she must be having, and above all everyone wants her to perform!!!

The son, has noone who can understand him, noone, and then who know hows his future shaping???

Well, guess i dont have an answer to this, but i hope u do...

Touching... yet i m scared.
Scared to be so honest, m feelin as a coward!!! :(

Blog Boy said...

very touching....
I wish no one should have a life similar to this one..
amazing...

The Furobiker said...

great one..!!!!
awesome

Pri said...

@ ankur
it is nice to know that u take the time to realise the depth of the emotions in the write---a gesture shown by not many readers...probably some due to lack of time and some due to fading of interest :)
thanks!!

@ blogboy
i wish and hope the same...
take care!!

@ abhishek khanna
thanks abhi...nice to see u back :)

Cinderella said...

I deeply believe in this Pri.
Money isnt really eveything...will never be..never ever !
Sadly, most times when ppl realise, its too late.
Lovely narration.
And I'm glad this was fiction.

IncorrigibleV said...

"too busy to take my own revenge on life"
that says soooo much more than 8 words
wonderfully woven words around the prompt ones :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful haunting story...glad to hear it is exactly that..because you told the story so well i questioned too does he speak from experience...

Anonymous said...

thats superbly written post doc

Pri said...

@ cindrella
thanks cindy :)...im glad u agree!

@ vands
thanks vands...by the time i finished the piece, i was soo engrossed that actually lost my way to the 3 words and had to search the entire post to find them :D

Pri said...

@ onemorebeliever
thanks...thats flattering to know u thought of it as real :D
but frankly speaking,more than that,im very much glad it isnt...:)
hope nobody has to actually go through any of it...

@ ashu
thanks ashu :)...long time!

Lukkydivs said...

i will keep wondering how u spin thousands of words with just 3. Loved it pri...awesome work.

Bone said...

little did i realise that it was irreversible and i would never be able to get back what i was letting slip away

How heartbreaking this story is, though probably a common one.

I was glad to read the fiction disclaimer at the end, as well.

criTics_anonYmous said...

chee! raju? rajni?
how cum a guy like aditya gets raju n rajni??
not raj? not nythg else but raju n rajni??

m glad its fiction!

lol..kiddin. juss passin by! afta a long time indeed!

Pri said...

@ divya
heehee thanks dear :)

@ bone
heyy thanks for dropping by..and that was an amazing prompt there...infact couldent help but write another piece on it..but thats in my personal folder..atleast for now :)
love 3ww...uve done a great job really!! :)

@ ranka
lol!! whats in a name ranka...whats in a name? ;p

TC said...

I was really glad to see the fiction tag at the end of this!!!!!! Nicely done.

Pri said...

heyyy hows u? its been a real long time :)
i dunno if u remember but u used to visit my blog a long long time back...
thanks for dropping by :)

Sam said...

and a damn good work of fiction it is!! very fluid and impacting one.. good job doc.. u planning to go for a book?

Pri said...

@ sam
thanks sam...maybe i will give it a try someday :D