my final destination...

PROMPT: empty, highway, ignore

the night is dark and deep...
silence fills the air yet i cant sleep...
i close my eyes and make a wish...

suddenly i find myself at a bend
a lonely highway it seems to be...
an empty path asif just made for me...
i walk along the road unknown...
its long and winding but something lures me...
im alone and afraid yet a faint halo leads me...
and then there is YOU!!

lost in a different world...
far away from reality...
there is beauty all around...
there are things i have only imagined...
and then there is YOU!

with a cloud for a pillow i dream...
a very different place it seems...
there is the lovely music of harps being played...
and then there is YOU!!

there are people smiling with friendly eyes...
noone speaks a word and yet i dont feel ignored...
there are flowers of different hues...
i see 'strawberry rain'...
and then there is YOU!!

i see angel faces and genuine hearts...
they touch me and my heart goes out to them...
i see 'vanilla skies' and 'crystal-clear seas'...
i watch innocent kids and aged people beaming with radiant joy..
and then there is YOU!!

i climb a stairway of beaded wishes...
each one is on its way to fulfillment...
as i reach the final step, a hand extends,
without a moments hesitation, i reach out...
and then there is YOU!!

YOU smile at me and ask me if i want to stay...
in this world of urs,or come back some other day?
and at that very moment i look down and see...
my loved ones are all away from me...
ive gotten here before my time is due,
should i return to them and wait some years few?

i say a silent prayer to drive away my fear...
ive made up my mind and ive decided to stay here...
just some days of missing me and they'll be fine...
i dont ever want to wake up from this dream of mine!!

and tomorrow when to wake me up they'll try,
i dont want them, on my death to cry....
and be it perhaps only for a lil while,
but i wish they'l greet my memory with a smile...
and know no matter how far it seems,
il'l always be around in their dreams...!!

from weird to weirder...

here's yet another small fact about pri---
I have this habit of listening to the radio till i drop off to sleep and even wayy after...

It started the fateful day i realised i was a victim of insomnia...and no amount of sitting online,reading or writing diaries guaranteed to help...

calling up friends was a big nono because i just couldent keep up to the conversation for anything more than 5 mins...no matter how hard they tried,i never then realised when i would slip away into indifference and oblivion...

so afraid,to lose out on my friends, i decided to play 'sleeping beauty' everytime they called (forget i said beauty ok?it was just a phrase..u dont need to smirk! :-/)
i was diagnosed as being on the verge of depression and i admit was terribly scared to slip off the edge...
i would violently blog those dsys but yet nothing helped...
everyone was tired of me because i neither wanted to tell stories nor listen to theirs...

so i resorted to somethin which wouldent hurt and which wouldent hurt me...somethin i could switch on and off without feeling guilty...somethin which wouldent feel ignored and left out if i dint speak..and yet somethin which would
take me back in to the past without telling me to move on or let go...
and that i realised could be none other than MUSIC!
started with online stuff...raaga.com, coolgoose.com, desi-radio.com etc etc..i remember those hours of nothing but downloading stuff and listening to it over and over again...those times i used to doze off on the chair itsself with the musical environment embracing me...
seeing that, one fine day mom decided to gift me an ipod to save me from 'torticollis' and 'early spondilitis' which she feared i would soon suffer from the postures i assumed as i dozed off head slung on the hard wooden chair...anyhoo the ipod was a cool surprise! :D

as time passed by, i helped myself get a lot over that phase...my friends were back (the ones who never left me ofcourse!)and so was my incessant chatting...but i could never really say 'goodbye' to music...lol!! i make it sound more like an ex dont i??


ok so coming back to the point,for the past 3-4 weeks 'mr ipod' seems to have done a dissapearing act :(
though mom is quite certain that 'kamal' must have flicked it,i have been paying her comments a deaf ear...
now why would kamal flick my ipod when there are things like my gold earings, bracelet, watch etc lying recklessly on my dressing table and bed...
see!!i got a point no??:-/

this explanation of mine has further heightened moms constant bickering of how careless ive become but it has also not been moving enough to get lazy me searching for it...im SURE it is there SOMEWHERE!!(procrastination rules...yet again!!)
i have never lost any of my things till date though it has always seemed soo close to that..heehee

Another thing wch has not made me search enough is that my ever loyal cell phone has come in handy since the past 4 weeks and thanks to it that im not deprived of my daily dose of 'moosick' wherever i may be...

but no! pri's life cant be that smoooth...there HAS to be a CATCH for every good thing isnt it?? *rolling eyes*
so hence, those blasted phone earplugs! ARGGGGGHHHH!!!

DONT dare to think im exaggerating!!this has given cause to an aching ear every single morning...
please note this has nothing to do with degrading the earplugs nokia provides with cell phones...its just that, the careless user that i am has somehow managed to rip off the cotton covering off them and now all im left with are these metallic objects for earphones...sigh!

NO! i cant get electrocuted in the process..ive confirmed that already...thankyou!:-/
its just that my ear would ache and ache and ache till one fine day i finally go deaf!
now everyone in the family finds this real weird,that inspite of the pain inflicted,i neither get the damn earplugs repaired nor stop those music sessions...
only explanation i have for this and wch i havent given anyone yet is that im too lazy for the former and too addicted for the latter...fine?

ohh just for the records,i lately (2 nights ago) discovered something better...i can actually listen to the radio by using the 'loud speaker' option on my phone instead of those stupid earplugs (yeah dont look at me like that...FINE!!im a bit of a technologically challenged 'einstein' to have discovered that so late..WAT-E-VER!!)

ok so if uve finished laughing and sneering, the point here is that now urs truly has now been sleeping with music on all night and has been waking up to new 'earacheless' days...yippeee!!
another highlight is it has managed to drive away the 'evil di' from my room which i have been unsuccessfully attempting for the past 5 months now...heeheehee
its a different think that it has got dad suspicious of whom his darling daughter has been talking to in the wee hours of the night :-/
i guess the volume was a bit too loud to have reached their room...

its okay!! i dont blame him...its hard to tell my voice from music ;)
i wonder why he almost choked when i said that...hmpf!!

ur opinion please...

here's a question for u...

HATE to love or LOVE to hate---which according to you is worse??

ok now here's another one...

which according to u is better---getting married and spending ur entire life with the one ur crazy about OR getting married and spending it with someone who's crazy about u? (keeping into mind that life is often too cruel to allow the person in the two situations to be the same)

ek doctor ki kahani...

its frustrating sometimes---a doctors life...
at the end of the day,it is never the lives saved which matter but only the unsuccessful attempts that come to haunt u!!

nobody ever seems to ask the doctor how she is feeling
or rather on second thoughts, does she feel at all!!..thats the attitude isnt it??

ive heard people calling doctors insensitive...emotionless...uncaring...
while some prefer stating it straight and blunt, some prefer to taunt subtly by saying something like 'doctors are strong ppl.undeterred..unaffected by anything'...and its not always meant in a compliment kinda way...

well ,all i gotta say is just because we dont cry and weep dosent mean we dont hurt or it dosent matter...
just because we had to learn to dissect human cadavers in first yr of med school, dosent mean we treat our patients as one...
it might seem mechanical our approach sometimes..but that dosent mean we dont care...
the best of surgeons might seem mechanical to u only because they are trying to save another life in the next 5 mins...
if we dont give ur 'headache' too much time, its probably because we are disturbed over another patients 'tumour'...
if we sometimes appear preoccupied, it dosent mean we are insensitive but it may be because we have a life too and no matter how much we try to keep the two off each other,there are times when our personal lives do interfere with our professional life...
we too have emotions...
we too get upset when something goes wrong with some patient...
just that we prefer not to show it...how would u like ur doctor sobbing out for some other patient while dealing with u??
and then we are supposed to be dealing with the truth right? but how many patients actually want to hear it??

its not an easy job...to detach urself from one case history to another...
sometimes its scary..sometimes u feel like the messenger of impending doom...
yes its great to see a patient recovering and leaving for home...but it also feels equally miserable to see a patient who's admitted going home the wrong way...
and amidst all this it gets pretty unnerving and difficult to put up a balanced act all the time...

and yet some ppl complain...i mean hell!!just because one stupid miserable wretch of a doctor refused to admit some seriously ill relative without letting him sign some admission papers or just because one money oriented bastard instead of choosing engg (no offence to the profession)opted for medicine and vented out his frustration later by getting involved in kidney scams or some organ transplant scandal and playing with life, u give the entire medical profession a bad name???
why this stereotype???
isnt it stupid to be soo biased?

'benefit of doubt' is all a doctor can ask for sometimes...
is that asking for too much??

p.s: i understand many think differently and regard the medical profession very highly and with due respect...
but this post was triggered off by something someone said...
sorry for rattling off maybe just too much...

im not a 'perfect' person!! :((

i have a feeling nobody really loves me :(
and why would they??

i havent been the perfect daughter
---i yell at my mom when she says something i dont like though i know its for my own good...
---i slam doors and still throw tantrums...
---i go without eating dinner if im not at the winning end of an argument...
---i do exactly the opposite of what im told to do sometimes...
---im too lazzy to help my mom in the kitchen and wait for her to call me (wch she hardly ever does..shes a sweetheart--my mom)
---im guilty of not spending enough time with my parents...
---i dont attend family parties even if my dad insists just because i find it boring to tag along with a plastic grin when i hardly know anyone there...
---i hardly make an appearance--not even to say a hello, when there are visitors at home...
so why would my parents love me?? :(


i havent been the perfect sibling either...
---im always the first to plunge at the extra bit of icecream in the fridge and sometimes i sneak downstairs quietly just to reach there first...heehee
---im the most terrible patient a dentist can ever have, when i go to her clinic...
---i never have the time to listen to her though i make sure she's always there to listen to my cribbings/rantings/troubles/woes etc etc
---i sometimes ignore her when im in the company of friends :-/
---i make her chauffeur me around when i need to go someplace...
---i often get irritated with her when she advices me on things i havent asked her about...(i hardly realise then that shes only trying to help)
---i never go along with her when she wants the company...
---i almost always make up excuses not to meet her friends...
---i pick at her mistakes like ive forever been searching for them :-/
---im hardly ever there to console her when shes down...
---most of the times, i give her brutally cold opinions, often telling her that its her mistake even when it sometimes is not...
---i hardly think she's ever right...
then why would she love me after all this??? :(


i havent been the perfect friend either...
---i hardly forgive but i expect to be forgiven...
---i seldom remember birthdays..but im irritated if someone dosent remember mine...
---i often reach late for meetups..but hate if im made to wait...
---sometimes i dont understand but almost always i expect to be understood :-/
---if im really angry i might say nasty things on ur face, but if u do the same, il'l end up shocked, bawling and walking out on u...
---it dosent take much to hurt me if ur my friend and i care about u...
---i have got a huge ego and find it very difficult to apologise even if i really want to...
---if im feeling blue, i (even though unintentionally)make sure u rnt feeling 'pink' either :-/
---if im irritated, il'l say so right on ur face and expect u to forget it the next morning and be my 'bestest' friend again...
then after knowing all my eccentricities, why would my friends love me? :(


when it comes to being 'the one'...
---i would expect him to love me , me and only me...
---there would be days when i would feel ultra-possesive and get irked at the slightest mention of anything or anyone feminine (other than me)...
---there would be times when i would expect him to understand that im too lazzy to cook for him and want him to suggest that we eat out...
---there would be days when i would expect him to convince me how much he loves me and he shouldent get fed up if i play 'difficult'...sigh!
---i would want the love never to fade..not for a single moment...
---i wouldent assure him 'his space' all the time as there can be days when i would be watching him like a hawk..every move...every action...just because i feel like it...sigh!
---i would expect him to know everything without me having to say and when he dosent, i'd be a tad bit dissapointed...
---i would want him to strike a perfect balance between 'cloud 9' compliments and realistic ones...
---i would want him not to be bugged or irritated at me ever...even though i know i can be quite irritating at times...
---i would want him to have the patience and make me understand things i dont...and never ever get fed up and say 'FINE!' or 'WHATEVER!'
---i would want him to teach me to 'dream' once again...
---i would want him to dream with me :)
---i would want him to be the first to patch up incase of any differences...
---i would want him to scold me if im wrong and not just act indifferent or oblivious and not wait for me to cool down by myself...
---i would want him to never get tired of speaking to me and never feel bored of listening to me (sigh! i know here im asking for a bit too much)
ok! so i wonder which person would fall in love with me with all my silly utopian expectations?? :(


see see! ive never been perfect...never been the perfect daughter, sibling, friend or partner...
i wasent ever..im not and probably il'l never be :(
and now after this introspection, i think im going to go to my room and bury my head in the pillow and never come out of there...hmpf!
im sucha horrible person!! :(

nobody loves me!! they all lie...they do! just to make me feel better!! :((

i knoww itt!! i KNOWWWW!! *runs off sobbing*

TAGGED!!---'30 questions'

i was tagged by 'sam' with this herculean task which was even more difficult because i couldent just copy paste the questions but instead had to write them down word by word on here before answering them (all thanks to that stupid thing he has enabled on his blog which dosent allow u to copy any of the stuff there..sam, i know u against plagiarism...we all are!! but why dont u think of us poor souls who would just find it soo much simpler and quicker to copy paste the QUESTIONS of tags uve tagged us with!!)
ok remind me to ask u to teach me how to enable that on my blog too ok? :D
somewhere amidst all the complaining, i got rather impressed with that...heehee

ok before u think im crazy,lets get along with the tag...

1)LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
'u me aur hum'

2)WHAT BOOK ARE U READING??
'shantaram'...great book but i just cant get enough time to read these days :(

3)FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
'scrabble' though its been ages since ive played any board game :(

4)FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
ummm 'india today' , 'readers digest' (if u can call that a mag)
ohh i do flip thru bollywood gossip and fashion mags too when im bored..but no favs really...

5)FAVOURITE SMELLS?
well there are many...
--->the smell of wet earth during the rains
--->the smell of coffee/hot chocolate brewing
--->the smell of detton mopped floors (err this i think ive gotten straight from the hospital)
--->the smell of fresh,hot,crunchy popcorn
--->the fragrence that strawberry body butter from 'the body shop' leaves on me (thats an all time fav)
--->the smell of the morning air when the 'gulmohar' tree in my backyard is in full bloom...ahh! its heavenly!!
--->my fav perfume--chanel #5, poeme etc
--->the lingering scent of showergel and shampoo left behind after ive had a hot refreshing shower

6)FAVOURITE SOUNDS?
--->the pitterpatter of raindrops hitting the groud and the window panes
--->the sound babies make when u tickle them and they are happy
--->someone's voice in the phonerecorded voicemessages i still have :)
--->my cell phone ring tone
--->the sound of music in my ipod
--->laughter as long as its not the 'mocking' kind


7)WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
--->when u have to show someone that u feel the exact opposite of what u actually do...inspite of knowing ul'l feel miserable having lied...
--->when u know the person u love most can come back to you but only to leave u again...and u cant decide what will hurt more...
--->when the person u would do everything possible to make happy is upset and the only person who can change that is not you...

8)WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?
breakfast! :p

9)FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?
im okay with anything anywhere as long as its good...

10)FUTURE CHILDS NAME?
err...cant make this decision alone can i? *blush*

11)FINISH THIS STATEMENT---'IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D'
...probably be posting this tag from my private beach in hawaii!! ;p

12)DO U DRIVE FAST?
fine! rub it in!! i dont know how to drive! :-/

13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
now im confused...was this tag supposed to be for toddlers?
hellooo!!...im 24 :-/
i do have a coupla stuffed cuties(childhood favs)in my room...but they just collecting dust now...sigh!

14)STORMS--COOL OR SCARY?
can be both depending on the situation ;)

15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
3rd june 1983, my mom and dad brought a 3.5kg bundle home from the hospital for the first time,in a white fiat---that was my first car!! :D

16)FAVOURITE DRINK?
ice chilled...sparkling white...crystal clear...thirst quenching WATER! ;)
apart from that--
-cranberry breezer
-hawaiian punch
-watermelon slush

17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD...
catch up with a lotta friends whom ive lost touch with only due to time restraints :(

18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
and what if i did??? :-/

19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
ummm always wanted to try 'mahogany brown' but everyone kept scaring me that the chemicals they use do more harm than good :-/

20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
unfortunately or fortunately its just goa and mumbai :)
have visited a lot many though...

21)FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
i hardly watch sports :-/

22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
a very mature writer who is still a kid at heart :)

23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
a small lil green man who has just stepped down from the UFO which is parked right outside my room...and he is busy trying to open the locked treasure chest which 'robin hood' himself placed there because of security reasons...

whaaaatttt?? what did u expect? :-/
ask a stupid question...get a stupid answer!! *rolls her eyes*

24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN??
me again???...no wayss!!
but wait a min...ONLY if im given a better option :-/

25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
there was a time when i was both...
now i think im neither...sigh!

26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
skip the yellow(egg yolk)..skip the cholestrol!! (an unasked-for-advice from me to my 'stubborn' self, patients and friends)

27)FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?
i dont need s particular place for that...
im always always relaxed!!

28)FAVOURITE PIE?
i dont like pie...saawrry!

29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?
banana&strawberry, freshlitchi, chocolatecrunch etc etc
the list is endless and if there is nothing , then i can even settle for plain vanilla ...heehee
im not at all fussy especially when it comes to icecreams and chocolates :D

30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
err...the one who finds this tag most interesting :D

ok now i tag---
veens
chakoli
vrij
anuj
ankur
mads
the white phoenix
divya
lena

awake yet dreaming...

i gaze at the open skies...
they tempt me to reach out to them,
touch them and explore the meaning of those lovely hues,
how pleasant would be the view from up there?
i often wonder and spin a dream around it
but then im reminded of my clipped wings...

i awe at the vastness all around me...
i want to soar so high that i will no longer be visible to the naked eye,
spread my wings and fly over the oceans blue,
listen to the sound of waves as i glide across them,
feel the cool breeze touching me on the other side of the horizon,
but then im reminded of my clipped wings...

i want to let go of all worldly issues...
reach a stage where im no longer trapped in the clutches of materialism,
where i would be free from the evils of society and vulture eyes--
waiting to eat my carcass as i drop dead, tired from the effort,
i want to fly to another place...
to a different land afar...
soo far away that noone can ever find me...
and then im reminded of my clipped wings...

i have dreams to attain...
i have ambitions to achieve...
i have wishes to be fulfilled...
i have longings to be shared...
i have the courage to dare...
and even though im bound by these invisible chains today,
which keep reminding me of my clipped wings,
i still have the will...
the desire...
the hope...
that someday i will break free...
into a happier life...
a happier story...
a different world...

because i BELIEVE!! :)


PROMPT: stage, visible, touching from 3ww

on broken dreams...

sometimes i go all the way preparing myself not to expect a particular something...yet when the moment arrives, it hurts real bad...like someone has punched me hard in the stomach!!
and i wonder what is the use of preparing the self soo much??
perhaps its better off living a fantasy hoping itll come true someday and then see it getting crushed to bits when the time comes than being broken into pieces every single day just preparing for it only to find out that in the end, u can never really be completely prepared...

no matter how much u try to forget a dream, it still hurts when it is broken!

nursery rhymes just for u...ting tong!!

today is a lazzy sick day in the life of pri...and she has almost finished the whole bottle of 'cough syrup' and is feeling very proud of herself...

its a childhood habit...while most children competed to drink their glass of milk, urs truly would wait for a 'cold' to compete (or rather break her own record)finishing off the cough syrup bottle...heyy really! no kidding!!:-/ *makes a straight face*
and then i used to get great pleasure in bugging everyone around with alternating spells of drowsiness and hyperactivity...heehee

so now u know what to blame for the 'idle musings' posted below?---obviously 'the high' u idiots!

please note: this post is written in a kinda intoxicated state (or so i would like you to believe)and should NOT be held responsible for corrupting the mind of toddlers and infants and preschoolers with my 'modified nursery rhymes' nor be accused of confusing them...because i do have a feeling they too read my blog :-/ *alert! delusion attack! alert!!*

so with the 'runningnose-swollenface-and-frogyvoice-blues', i share with u my kindergarten memories upgraded as of today and right now...

----------------------------------------
jack and jill went up the hill,
to fetch a pail of water...
on the way they found a bar,
and both stepped in for a 'quarter'

err...sorry for imparting the influence of alcohol on young minds and making what could turn into a serious issue, sound so casual...heehee
------------------------------------------------------

baba black sheep have u any wool?
try to sell it and dont be a fool...
the master dosent need it, the dame's too busy to knit...
and the lil boy down the lane has just thrown a fit!

err..now where did i get that from??*puzzled*

--------------------------------------------------------------

humpty dumpty sat on a wall...
humpty dumpty had a great fall...
all the kings horses and men werent anywhwre around
and in the peak of the summer heat, a fried egg was found!! har har!! :D

no offence mister humpty dumpty..but its time the kiddos got to know u were just an EGG!
---------------------------------------------------------------

polly put the kettle on kettle on kettle on
polly put the kettle on
and she got a nasty burn...
suki put it off again off again off again...
suki put it off again
a lesson very good to learn...

i am so proud of myself..im actually teaching kids not to play with fire *pats herself on the back*
--------------------------------------------------------

lil miss muffet sat on a tuffet,
eating her curd and whey...
there came a sensible spider and smirked beside her...
"the diet wont help u i'd say"...

ooooohhh...am i unknowingly being calorie conscious??sigh!
----------------------------------------------------------

johny johny?... yes papa
eating sugar?...yes papa
telling the truth again?...yes papa
sigh!in this world, ul never be at par! :-/

yes kids should learn the rules of the game!!err...u gotta fib ur way out of trouble sometimes...muhahaha
-------------------------------------------------------------

pat-a-cake pat-a-cake u typical man
bake me a cake as fast as u can
pat it and prick it and give it to fred,
and hel'l put it to use to kill the rats instead!!

have u ever survived a mans cooking without any side-effects in the bargain??heehee
ok ok before u guys retalliate, i admit there are exceptions...some men CAN cook just as some women cant :-/


----------------------------------------------------------------

georgie porgie pudding and pie
kissed the girls and made them cry
when all the boys came out to play
he kissed them too and made their day!

(eep! how homosexual :-/)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

we all knew the famous ringa ringa roses as kids...well recently i got to know the creepier versions which are apparently more famous in us and uk...check it out here
but i think il'l stick to the version i learnt as a kid...
never really could comprehend what it was supposed to mean so here's a lil modification so that all your toddlers dont end up as confused about it as i am :-/

ring-a-ring-a roses
a pocketful of posies
"hushaa bushaa"
i sound like a cannible clown! :-/
-------------------------------------------------------

ok i think the effect is wearing off now...not feeling as dizzy anymore...but before i read what i have typed and realise how silly it sounds let me head for more cough syrup! :-/

'benadryl benadryl here i come again...
do wonders to my creativity...
benaaaaadryllll benadrrryyyyylllll'

now picture me singing the above lines like in the 'zandu balm zandu balm pida hari balm' jingle on tv with a benadryl bottle in my hand instead...*blush*
pri draws the blanket over her face and shys away...

first day second show!!

what would u do if you suddenly forget who u are??
try as u might u just cant recollect anything about urself...u dont recognise ur loved ones...ur family..ur friends...where u live...ur home...ur workplace...nothing!...nothing at all!!

im afraid to even think about it...god forbid if it ever happens to me, i wouldent know how to live...cos urs truly thrives on her memories...
i cant imagine life without them...
and life would be over for me if im ever caught up in sucha state wherein i dont even remember who 'pri' is or rather was...
i dunno if i would even go for psychiatric help...i must admit that is one situation in which i would just plain give up i guess! :(

and people around me?? how would they react?
would they be able to tolerate me?
would they get irritated an angry when i refuse to recognise them?
would they opt to send me to an asylum if i happen to turn violent out of frustration of not being able to relate even to near and dear ones??

All these thoughts were triggered by the newly released 'u me aur hum'....
yes i went for the first day second show :D
and i suggest u catch up with it soon??
the songs (esp the title track and even 'jee le' for that matter)make soo much more sense now after watching the movie...
i always admired kajol for her fine acting...and her potrayal in the movie is just brilliant...she seems to have lost a lot of weight after marriage too (hmm..does marriage do that?? maybe i should give it a shot then..heehee)and shes looking her gorgeous best...
i could never really tolerate ajay devgan much and i always thought he could never do justice to a sensitive role...but he proved me all wrong with this movie of his...
he has done full justice to the character and u cant help but shed a silent tear during some emotional scenes...
the others too have suited their parts just fine...and the movie dosent leave u with an aching head due to overdosage of drama...theyve seen to it that there is light humour interspersed everywhere to give it a casual yet mature approach...
some parts do remind you of 'the timetravellers wife' (book) and '50 first dates' (the movie) but u are too swept away to dwell too much into it...
cupid killers should stay away because u guys might come home transformed...(sigh! nobody warned me)
all in all, the movie has lived upto my expectations...its sweet but not overtly diabetic...and makes u want to wish such love could exist in reality too...

i couldent help thinking what would happen if it happened to me...dammit! i doubt there are any ajay's(the name is ajay in the movie too) in reality...
and even if there are,would someone ever love me soo much?? :(
'sometimes the longest journey is the one between two people'...ahh! how true...:)

sigh! i guess with the absence of an ajay devgan in life, urs truly would have to make do with her blog to relive her memories...
its a good thing we are recording our life in print :-/

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inaugration notice!!

urs truly is starting a new blog called 'in a nut shell...'
since this is going to be a private blog, u would need an invite to read it...so please feel free to drop in ur email addresses so that we send u an invite :)

now for the FAQ section...sigh!

1)why are u starting a new blog?
well to start with, we want to see how good we are at multitasking and we also want to polish our skills at it as it is the need of the day (which unfortunately has only 24 hours in it)
secondly we are having difficulties keeping up with our thoughts wch are rising at an alarming rate and we are experiencing a sorta OCD 'obsessive compulsive disorder' towards blogging...so we are compelled by a strange force to have in print everything (err almost) going on with us...
also our other two blogs are mostly about random things, random thoughts, random musings...and does not include our day to day experiences...not that ul'l would be soo interested in that, but we would still like to speak about it...hmpf!!

2)why are u making ur new blog private?
'in a nutshell' is goin to be a record of our day to day life...the experiences we have...the ppl we meet...blah blah!!
and there will be no space or need for any 'disclaimers' there...
also, we are quite private like that and dont want to open up our lives to everyone nor do we want everyone to know what is happening with us every day or maybe every minute or every second (depends on the rate we blog---warning!!)
we are also a teeny weeny bit scared that some person we dont like too much may read our blog and realise its him/her we are ranting about and since everyone dosent have a great sense of humour like ours might take it to heart (not that we care about that!)and bribe someone into stalking us down and getting us murdered! (and yes! we do care about that :-/)
besides we dont want to throw our lives open like that to someone without even knowing who it is (afterall its no 'truman show')...so this way by making it an 'invited blog' we take comfort that we are aware of who knows what is going on with us and probably we will snoop around and find out about them too without feeling guilty :p

3)incase we dont want to give u our email address then...??
duh! then be happy knowing what u already know about us through our other two blogs and dont hope to know more...simple! :D

4)after these two blogs, u still have more to tell???
u bet! lots of things happening with us as of now..and this is our way to have it all in print before we grow too old to remember or too accepting to crib or too senile to cherish...
also 'nostalgic moments' sounds more like remniscing about 'yesterday'(atleast that was what it had started out as)
'in a nutshell' will be speaking more of 'today'...

phew! this was all we could think of based on the nature of questions asked to us in the past :-/
so in case u having any more questions, please feel free to shout in the comment section...or u can mail them to us...*we are feelin very celebrityish today..heehee*

ohh and do drop us ur email address so that i can update u with my life 'in a nutshell',this time as today turns into tomorrow!! :)

cheers!!

the '8-STAR' tag!!

I came across this very interesting tag at 'chakolis' place...and since she said everybody interested could take it up, i decided to have a go at it...
its time i took a 'tag break' neways and since nobody is tagging me these days, i decided to tag myself...sheesh! height of blogger desperation no? :-/

so here i go...

Eight things I am passionate about

• the people i love
• attempting 'perfection' in my work (because it is only when u attempt perfection, that u manage to get somewhere close to it)
• food ;p
• reading
• music
• shopping
• movies
• writing

Eight things I want to do before I die--
---->be famous
---->make my parents proud of me...
---->earn the reputation of a great doctor and more importantly a good human being :)
---->clear off a lotta misunderstandings
---->tell someone how much i love him (want to but dont think i'l ever get about saying it)
---->learn to make round chapatis :D
---->write a book...
---->spread some smiles wherever i go so that people remember and miss me long after im gone :)

Eight things I say often

• crap!
• what the hell!!
• soo funny!!(this is when im very irritated with u)
• ya right!
• apparently
• take it easy!
• i dunno :-/
• cool!

Eight books I've read recently
--->the house of blue mangoes
--->Shantaram (still reading actually)
--->half a life
--->the kiterunner (for the second time)
--->the messiahs handbook (in parts ofcourse,everytime i cant decide on something..heard it helped a lotta ppl and so i decided to give it a try..err..at the cost of seeming superstitious and stupid :-/)
--->love in the time of cholera
--->message in a bottle
--->angela's ashes


Eight songs I could listen to, over and over

ahh!!...juss 8?? :(
• aaj jaane ki zid na karo
• hum aapki ankhon mein is dil ko basale toh
• jaane kya dhoondti rehti hain yeh ankhei mujhme
• kabhi alvida na kehna (both the old melody and the new version)
• dont expect me to be your friend--by lobo
• maa--from TZP
• lag jaa gale
• dont worry be happy--by bob marley

not fair! i could list soo many more :(


Eight things that attracts me to my best friends
• a great sense of humour
• a free-spirited nature
• the fact that they'l never give up on me
• the emotional security and support they provide me at times
• the strong bonding and the faith that we will never let go
• a 'care a damn' and 'il'l stand by u whaever happens' attitude
• the fact that i can be myself at all times with them
• all the fun times we spend together

8 People I think should do this tag

-- vands
-- veens
-- ankur
-- rambler
-- divs
-- solitaire
-- sam
-- cm-chap

cheers and have fun!! :)

the path of 'no return'...

with a memory sketch from long ago,
am trying to find ur face again...
that moment of time has long gone past,
yet the feelings have remained just the same...

a million faces in the crowd...
and none of them look familiar...
each with a smile to pass on to me...
and all i have is an unknown fear...

dissapointed im still searching to match,
the memory with which im bound...
i search far and wide with just one hope,
that maybe just maybe il'l find u around...

sometimes i spot someone close,
someone who resembles u in every way...
but on realising it can never be you,
i pull away having no words to say...

its true ur never coming back i know,
its true the search might never end...
they say as days go by,u tend to heal,
but even time refuses some broken hearts to mend!!

somtimes the heart travels the path of love only to get lost on the way and then quits and decides never to return...

P.S: blame the weather for inspiring this scribble :)

RAIN!!--part 2

Well as promised, i have here all ur reactions :)
enjoyed reading them...it was nice to know ur perspective of the rains...read ur memories...sweep u off in nostalgia and spread some smiles around...

Heres wishing the rains do just that this time around and in a much bigger and happier way.....
here is what u guys had to say (in no particular order)...

--------------------------------------------------------------------
VEENS SAYS----
ahhh rain! I don't knw.. maybe I have mixed feelings about it.

Well I have so many memories of rain.. and nice ones..but one..it was more of a wish.. and it came true :)) and it holds special till date.. coz nothing beats that :D

it was when i was in BLore..with the whole family and a dunmb sissy...whose dumbness i loved at that instant :))
we all went to sme mall and bought stuff.. came back to uncles home..and whoops..sissy remembers she forgot the beautiful ear-ring she bought in the store :-|
after a lot of bashing and callingnames.. i say ok.. i will go with unncle to get it. Uncle in his bike with me..and guess what it starts to RAIN... ummm! wow!!!!!

my all time wish was this..totally...to be on a bike..riding..and rain ...and speed and...wow!!!!!!!!

just then i had the most nicest of time...and i would lov to do it again ;) bas bike wala mil jaaye :-\

whose ready to take me along!!!

thats my favoritest memory of rain..there are many more...well...later :))


errrrr!!!!!!!! NOW I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN NOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

ANKUR SAYS----
**they say that when ur away from the people u love,u miss them most when its raining...i dunno**

i know... u do... a lot :)
u miss mamma ke haath ke pakode and the cup of tea... u miss talkin with ur sister in the rain, and when it is heavy u miss gettin wet in the rain... u miss sitting with ur dad and watchin the rain and talkin abt how this rain will affect us.. :D
u miss all tat and yes... u miss someone else too, if u hv :)


**is it true? or is it just the ambiance which makes u think that way?**

its a combination of both!!!
for us, ppl from jaipur or rajasthan rain is like heaven... we see it few times a yr only, may be here u see a lot of it... so i guess the ambiance makes it more beautiful...


**the lightening...the cool breeze...the heavens crying...and the nostalgia!!**

and i love to drive in it.. my bike.. for hours.. gettin wet... car i dont like coz there is no fun driving it during rain unless u dont want to get wet!! :P

and i still remember once it was so heavily lightening that we were so scared... so so scared... hehee

**but sometimes missing someone can get a smile on ur face too isnt it?? missing someone means thinking about them and thinking about ppl u love often gets a smile on ur face...and the tear in the eye dosent matter much...**

yes... i m smiling now.. as i remember all of them, thanks pri, u made this day memorable :)

**so why blame the poor rains??
we should be blaming the heart instead...shouldent we?**

if all this time u were talkin abt the heart wala part... then i guess yes we do, and then we take our phones out or sit with our lappy again... and see wat can be done... talk to chat or cam... watever the best we feel!!! :)

**bad or good...bitter or sweet...i guess the rains definitely make memories come alive.......but how we respond to them is entirely up to us :)**

no memories are bitter... :)
and yes.. i do have a lot.. lot of them.. once we came back home and we saw our whole house was like flooded... like Solitaires' :P
:P

coz the drainage was blocked..
:P
:P

all the carpets and everything was wet... and it was very funny... sometimes we leave the window open and... :P
:P

Rain is all so lovely...

SAM SAYS----
loads!!
starting from splasing around in teh rain as a kid to actually running in office attire at 11pm just because it was feeling good...
done loadsa crazy stuff

SOLITAIRE SAYS----
Aha! Solitaire hates the rains...but temporarily.

As a child, I used to love the rains. That was the best time for me to study (memorize). As soon as it would start raining, I would start learning things by heart at a quick pace. :)

Then as a college student, I began to love the atmosphere, just like you do. The darkness, sounds, coolness...But I think I liked it because in Gujjuland, rains were so far few in between.


Now in the United States, it rains A LOT, especially in the spring. And I hate how my hair looks yuck by the time I reach work. And to top it all, these floods made my life totally miserable..and still are. :(

CM-CHAP SAYS----
I love to watch rain... with a hot cup of tea & snakc sitting in my room near the windows :-)

Yeah I knw sometimes rain is too much.. I expernced the July 26th incident in Mumbai... Infact I wrote a post on my experiences of it

ENEVOURME SAYS----
..i love to get a thick blanket and sleep when its raining hehe :D

CHAKOLI SAYS---
Hmmmm...
I love rain but not that "khich-pich" after that...

if its drizzling and sitting on a window side with chai....just perfect evening .....

LENA SAYS---
i love rains.. it is not because of this nostalgia feeling (which is there too) but because it makes me feel like i belong to this world.
I can walk in the rain for hours and dont care about clothes and hair getting wet. Because there can not be the better feeling than a touch of rain drops on your face.

Or when it rains i can just sit at the window and watch it for hours thinking about the past, the present, the future. And really missing some special people. I dont know why is it like that that you miss them most when it rains. Maybe because the rain makes you feel comfortable and you want to share all this comfort with someone you love and care about? Or maybe because of this whole nostalgia thing - when the sweetest memories, the ones you so carefully put aside on other days, are brought into foreground.
When i was 11 i was in some camp for kids and it was raining almost all 3 weeks i have been there and i remember every day me and 2 more friends running around barfoot and the adults trying to catch us and bring under some roof to make sure we dont get cold.
I remember the feeling of joy and satisfaction we all got that we couldnt be caught. And all the fun about it.
And i remember the cup of hot tea when we finally got into house. And even the smell of it.
Maybe this childhood experience made me fall in love with rains forever :)
Maybe not... who knows?

LA VIDA LOCA SAYS----
i hate rain...

KESHI SAYS----
I love a drizzle...like I said before, the sound of raindrops reminds me of a sad memory...

DIVYA SAYS----
sweetheart how about an ice cream in the rain with me :P thats something i love the most :) (choco flavor)

VANDS SAYS----
**they say that when ur away from the people u love,u miss them most when its raining...i dunno is it true?**

yes absolutely...it always happens to me and i never knew it was said as well...i believe it.
abt my rain thoughts..i love rain and the four words in your post that made me jump and smile:
rain + happy + mumbai + marathi
now tell me if u can make sense of it :P

PRINCESS SAYS----
I'm quite the same like you..when it comes to Rain.. read my posts related to rain here

RAAJI SAYS----
I absolutely love the rain... it is just so....... romantic :-)

Wrote this a long time ago... could interest you :-)
http://raajii.blogspot.com/2007/10/late-nights-rain.html

CHRIZ SAYS----
its raining babies in my neighbourhood.. 8 women, 8 kids.... and awready three newly married couple ready for the next adventure.. diff sort of rain here

ABHISHEK KHANNA SAYS----

rain rain go away.. little johny wants to play...
bachpan mein mummy khelne nahi deti thi jab barish hoti thi tab


RAMBLER SAYS----
it rained heavily last night here.. and its been a lovely morning so far to wake up to. You're right, rain is just too good

VRIJILESH SAYS----
Ah.. though I do not like to get drenched in the rain much, I do enjoy the nice atmosphere that it creates.

In the student days, it was cuddling up in bed with some hot chai and pakodas watching TV or reading a Sherlock Holmes novel for the umpteenth time.

These days its cuddling up under the blanket with wifey and doing u know what!

MEZ SAYS----
Rains, bike, bf, long drive, bliss!!

NIRMALS BLOG SAYS----
rains it true good season....
but i love rain only when i m in kerala....i was only ther once or twice but taht was grt..'

in mumbai i dont njoy much....as here u cant have sweet fragnace of rain....and not at all romantic...

UTOPIA SAYS----
the rains and I have had a strange relationship. :-) Actually too much of the rains depresses me. I remember Pune, Bombay and even Calcutta and nostalgia reigns supreme.
But that ways I like Dilli cos if one thing one can be sure of is that the sun is always gonna be out hehehe!

STANDBYMIND SAYS----
I love rains...
the drops of water..
the new greeen color of trees and plants when rains...the breeze...
the smell...:)

MAD ORCHID SAYS----
aah i love it..there r quite a many incidents...i just love rainssss neways...for instance yesterday al of a sudden it strted to pour...was enjoying...thn 'bitter' as u said..26th my budday mumbai suffered so badly n on 26th jul 06 here in kolkata it was one big helluva time..i had two papers and suddnely out of nowhr it started to rains..n there went my new budday dress..phoooooshhhh bt who cares i let down my hair n was enjoying..dwn while i was enjoying gettin wet i heard somethng pleasing to my ear; it was someone who said prolly god is crying coz its lost one of its angel... :)
and then I always hve this dream to get all the way get widly drenched and last all the way....the thunderstorms scares me off my breath..bt sometimes think this b the situation n be with my man :0 and could just hold me tite ans snuggle rite into his warm arms..wow rains n rains..love it totallyyyyy....wish it rains again here today as well :)
That way this way...I love rains...n just love them :) i so wanna pull down my hair n get crazily wet n dance in tips n taps of the rain splashing n plattering here n there...
-----------------------------------------------------------


so this monsoons,
dont let ur dreams of dancing in the rain remain bottled up...
dont worry about ppl thinking ur crazy...
dont think about the cold u might catch or the fever u might come down with...(thats what we docs are here for! ;P)
dont spend all ur time indoors and waste the beautiful weather like that...
dont spend ur time crying over those bitter memories...instead cherish the ones uve got...
concentrate on the smile that nostalgia brings ...dont focus on the tears...

go out...dance...get soaked in the rain...smile...enjoy the moment...dream...LIVE!!

cheers to everyone!
and have a lovely season :)

RAIN!--like it or hate it??

Its raining here today...a slight drizzle and its enough to make me happy... mom says the reason i love the rains soo much might be because im a 'june baby'... though my friends curse it for cancelling plans and making them stay indoors, urs truly will never be the one to crib or make a fuss when its pouring...infact im most happy to make plans in such weather (much to the irritation of my prim and proper friends who dont want to get their attires spoilt or hair wet *rolls her eyes*)...so im usually left either alone to play in the rain :( (at the risk of appearing like a mad fool)...
somehow irrespective or whether im outdoors or within the confines of my room,the rains always get me happy...

i agree it sometimes does more than just fine in getting along with them bitter-sweet memories of yesteryears...but then maybe im just another nostalgic fool trying to go back into the past with every small reason i can get hold of...sigh!!
the sound of the raindrops hitting the window panes...
the smell of the fresh earth...
nature at its best...
curling up with a novel and a mug of hot coffee...
standing at the window and watching the rains and getting a few drops come in through the half open shutter...
eating half burnt pakodas without cursing ur cooking skills :-/...(sigh! the rains can make anything feel good)...
the getting drenched in the rain and getting yelled at for behaving like a kid...
and if ur lucky u get to catch a cold or viral fever wch'll grant u leave from work and keep u snug in bed for a coupla days :p (ok ok! im not crazy..hmpf!!)

thats why i love the rains....they just bring that pleasant feeling all around...

well sometimes it does bring about not-so-pleasant feelings too... like the horrible floods due to heavy rains that mumbai experienced back in july 2005 (26th to be precise)...that had got me cursing the rain and at that point in time, i was worried like hell for close ones and the news bulletin and stuff kept freaking me out! :(

and why go soo much in the past, recently our 'solitaire' experienced a bad time due to the rains wch got her apartment flooded and hence slackened her internet hours and contact with us :(

but thankfully everything has been sorted now...and we lovee the rains once again :D just hope it never scares people like that again :-/

they say that when ur away from the people u love,u miss them most when its raining...i dunno is it true? or is it just the ambiance which makes u think that way? the lightening...the cool breeze...the heavens crying...and the nostalgia!!
but sometimes missing someone can get a smile on ur face too isnt it?? missing someone means thinking about them and thinking about ppl u love often gets a smile on ur face...and the tear in the eye dosent matter much...
so why blame the poor rains?? we should be blaming the heart instead...shouldent we?

bad or good...bitter or sweet...i guess the rains definitely make memories come alive.......but how we respond to them is entirely up to us :)

knock knock!! any such memories there?? :)
would love to hear ur tryst with nostalgia catalysed by the rainman up there...
so give me one memory or reason or fact (brought about by this beautiful weather)that ull always cherish and love the rains for? it could be anything...a person...a memory...a feeling...ur 'mood' colour...
and for those who hate the rains (hear solitaire! :P), i wanna know ur reaction too... will post up all ur responses in my next post...so watch the space!


to end with, here is a beautiful marathi song to suit the mood of the post..its from one of my fav albums 'gaarva' by milind ingle love it especially for the prelude... my apologies for not attempting to interpret the piece to those who dont understand the language because i believe i wouldent be able to do justice to the song...:)

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cheers!!