how much is 'too' much??

"How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love, or too much to ask of someone? When is it all just too much for us to bear?"
---Dr Meredith Grey

Meredith asked a question and urs truly needs an answer.....
anyone??

a wedding surprise!!

Radha sat in front of the dressing mirror...she was going to meet him today...he whom her parents wanted her to marry....he whom everyone thought as the most eligible man worthy of her hand in marriage....he who she hadent ever seen but was about to spend the rest of the life with.....

she wondered if she should tell him about 'aakash'---the only guy who she had allowed to come into her life and turn it topsy-turvy....
she had met aakash on the net....thousands of mails, chat sessions and phone calls later, they had confessed they were madly in love....nobody knew their little secret though.....
living far away from home in the US, she had confided in this angel who she considered her soul mate....
savage garden's "i knew i loved u before i met you" happened to be their favourite song back then...

but gradually things changed....it was the fateful night of december 29th that radha realised that aakash was nothing but a stranger who had toyed with her feelings....
All of a sudden he did not have the time to chat anymore...he changed his cell number....mails to him started bouncing back....
it was then that she realised that for three long years, she was being fooled......fooled by some cassanova in cyberspace whom she had trusted and given her heart too......and apparently had left without any valid explanation....
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today, she was getting married....married to someone she hadent met...her parents had arranged everything for her and she had let them....she had returned just 5 days back, to india after trying to fight with the ghosts of her past....and she still wasent sure if they had been exorcised....

she remembered she had blindly agreed when they had told her about alok---a software professional in delhi...
her parents were happy...she was happy that they were happy...and most importantly she was angry...angry at aakash...angry at herself for letting herself trust aakash...and probably this was just her way of getting back...getting even...
'at what?? with what??' she often had asked herself...but she found herself with no answer...
but one thing was certain---she dint believe in her decisions anymore!!
akash was the first and last guy she had trusted on her own and that incident had left her scarred for life.....
'nothing can hurt more than this' she thought....
her parents had persuaded her to speak to alok but radha had plain refused...speaking to him would plain remind her of those times with aakash...she dint want to go through the 'long hours on phone' routine again...not with the person she was marrying..not with anyone!!
alok had agreed...though he found it a little strange at first, that radha refused to speak...but he was too floored by her pics to notice...and then again, the idea of an arranged marriage wherein he hardly knows the bride kinda enchanted him...the whole mystery element of opening up someone's life after marriage allured him...
he knew almost everything about radha and her family and he trusted their values...besides everytime he saw radhas pic, his mind stopped working...it was almost love at first sight...she was all he had imagined his bride to be!!
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there were just 3 hours left for the auspicious moment...3 hours and she would have to start a new life....

radha decided that she would finally leave 'akash' behind....it was high time she moved on...and she did not want alok to suffer because of some emotional baggage which she could never leave behind....
she decided she would never speak or think of aakash again...alok would never know about this chapter of her life she dint ever want to remember...
and then she had been able to avoid it to a great extent...she was beginning to feel the ghosts dint bother her as much anymore...
-----------------------------------------------

3 hours later she was in the wedding hall, all decked up in bridal wear...she looked beautiful and was receiving many compliments....but alok had not arrived yet....
she wondered how it would be...the first meet in the wedding hall..she thought such situations exist only in the movies....and here she was, asif living in some different era betrothed to someone she had never seen or met...purely trusting her parents decision for her...
a part of her was scared...apprehensive...what if her parents had made a wrong choice...but another part of her said that it didnot matter...she dint believe in love anymore and wasent expecting a fairytale life anyways...

and yet there was a strange curiosity as how alok would be...
she had heard he was handsome...she wished she had seen his pic her mom had emailed her in the US instead of directly hitting the 'delete' button...it dint matter...she did not need anything which even remotely reminded her of the times she shared with aakash...she had even stopped accessing her email after that...
fighting with her demons took up almost all her time......
but now in the wedding hall, she silently promised herself not to let them affect her anymore...she was thnking aout alok, the one she was going to spend her entire life with...

just then someone tapped her shoulder from behind...she turned to see her mom standing with alok...he looked handsome in the rich sherwani he was wearing...he was smiling...he looked really happy....
finally they met---on their wedding day!
"hi"
"hello"
it was weird...meeting like this...she had never imagined speaking to the man for the first time on the day of her wedding...just a few hours and she would be in his arms on her wedding bed....
radha smiled at the irony of the situation....

and just then asif like a cold gust of wind,she saw a figure hurridly approaching them....
"heyy bro,u left the gift in the car...i just went an..."
and she FROZE!!

"ohh radha this is for you" alok said handing the gift, neatly packed in pink wrapping paper with a lot of hearts and angels on it..."im not thaat good at gift shopping especially when it comes to girls..so i took help from my kid brother here...
ohh and btw meet the stud---AAKASH"
--------------------------------------------

there was a deafening silence as two pairs of eyes stared at each other....

alok turned to akash and looking at his pale face, continued "i told u she would leave u speechless"

apparently akash had returned the very same morning from bangalore where he now had moved as his job demanded...
when family had informed him about alok getting married,he was only too pleased...being busy with his job the two brothers hardly got to speak much..if people didnt know how close the two brothers were, their lack of communication could have clearly been misunderstood as indifference...
this time too, the details were skipped as had always been the case....
"leave it as a surprise bhai...il'l meet u guys directly on THE big day now" he had said teasingly when alok had asked him if he should mail him a photo...

speechless he was, akash did not understand how to react.
"when we meet, time will stand still" he remembered flirting with her.
somehow life had come to a full circle....

as for radha, life had flung yet another surprise at her...here she was on her wedding day, meeting for the first time the man she was supposed to be getting married to....

and here had walked in, 'the one' she had been emotionally married to a long long time back....

juxtaposed realities

there was a HIM and a HER...

HE hated to smile even when he found so many reasons to
SHE had no reason yet always smiled
HE met people who really cared yet wondered what love is
SHE had noone yet knew all about it
HE was ambitious as hell but refused to dream
SHE was a dreamer and believed in them
HE knew no compromise
SHE had compromised all her life
HE thought sacrifice was 'futile'
SHE believed sacrifice was 'love'
HE had all the words but nothing to say
SHE had so much to say and yet could not speak all she wanted
HE could never make a decision without the fear of losing
SHE had never won yet kept taking decisions all her life
HE was building for himself a strong future
SHE built castles in the air
HE saw life with a practical approach
SHE never wanted to take off her rose coloured glasses

there was a HIM and a HER.......
each with a different reality...each with something to teach the other...each with something to learn....

there was a HIM and a HER....
and when they met, life was beautiful!!

PROMPT: 'juxtaposed realities' taken from 'matineemuse'

'55-limited'

she was always the delicate kind...but not anymore...tonight she had no choice...

watching her baby sleep peacefully, she waited for the poison to act on her too...

there was no sense playing the blame game that night...

disposing off his 'ELISA' report, her angry jaded heart wished him all the luck he needed...

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[PROMPT: taken from 3ww, words being 'jaded' 'night' and 'delicate'

the whole idea of this piece of fiction was to follow the '55-word' limit...that is to write something in EXACTLY 55 words---a concept not unfamiliar around the blogworld....
hope i was able to do justice]

today is remembrance day....

i lost both my YAHOO accounts (nostalgia19992000 and dr_priyanka07) in october last year...it was painful..really painful!! *goes into drama queen mode with a violin in one hand and a box of tissues in the other*

all of a sudden my memory had failed me and i couldent recollect my newly changed password....unfortunately the overconfident me had the same changed password to both my accounts....
i fretted...fumed...cribbed...cried...begged to god to bless me with 'super-hacker' potential just for one minute (only to regain my lost password)...but all in vain!
there were people i couldent notify as i had lost out on all their email addresses...all my contacts were gone!!then there were those who i had deleted from my list but knew were just a click away...but now they were gone too!! in short, i was basically doomed!
all i could do is hope and hope and keep hoping that everyone in my contact list and out were somehow magically informed about my blog and would go around and read this and contact me some way or the other....

it was a disgrace to my ego who reigned in the glory that i can never forget anything...leave alone something as important as this!!
i couldent accept the fact that i would never be able to access my yahoo account anymore...
memories of messenger and mail haunted me night and day...i lost out on my sleep...
i remember those nights i used to wake up in cold sweat and shake myself from the nightmares of some evil gremlin changing my password and using my account to send spam all over the world....
i also started believing that this evil gremlin was reading all my well preserved mail which i had labelled 'sacrosanct' back then and deleting them one by one...it was slow TORTURE!! :-/

its almost a year now, and i sometimes am still haunted by the fact that maybe someone really important keeps mailing me on there and i dont even know! :-/
i know its a far fetched possibility but what if maybe ...just maybe!!
what if im notified of something very very important on there.??

what if i win some 5 million worth lottery and they decided to notify me on that email??

what if i won a dream date with brad pitt and since there was no reply from me, they decided to give it out to miss 'so-and-so'?? (ok for those who are wondering, people who i hate might be reading my blog too...so moi thinks naming her wouldent be that safe!! :-/)

what if mr right has mailed me saying that he is getting married??

what if he even has informed me of the birth of his newborn on there??
and here i am blissfully unaware....and there he is probably thinking how rude i am to not even congratulate him on the happiest ocassion (of his life)...sigh!!

what if all those stupid 'astro' sites i had subscribed to had something very important to tell me...maybe the stars had changed their mind and decided to get lucky for me??

what if there was that one chain letter waiting in my inbox which needed to be sent to 10001 ppl from ur friend list to bestow good luck on you forever..and more importantly what if it was the one that actually worked!!?? :-/

what if i was being awarded the bookers prize for a book ive not yet gotten about writing??

WHAT IF................

nooooo!! i need to STOPPP...im hyperventilating now!!

OK THANKYOU ONE AND ALL..u may go back to whatever it was that u were doing..shows over..hmpf!! :-/

life's lessons---from the learned...

life has taught veens to stop figuring out what life really is...and just go with the flow...and remember to live it

life has taught keshi that as she plans life, it has it's own plan for her

life has taught nitin why Godji has given 2 hands one to hold.. other to..
(nitin, buddy you should have completed that...you seem to have really learnt something which u think is soo very important...so go ahead, dont leave us baffled...give it a complete shot--speak your mind out!)

life has taught rambler not to take it seriously, its not worth it

life has taught sid that some things cant be changed...n which can be,have already been

life has taught luckydivz that living it is not easy!

life has taught deluded that its never wise to try and sneak into class if youre late(like they show you in the mentos ad).......it seems that the teacher also has a tv

life has taught priya joyce to be firm and strong in whatever situation she is

life has taught holytrance to think big and it will come true.

life has taught pavi!! that everything does happen for the Best. Eventually you’ll realize it

life has taught solitaire that everything works out in the end

life has taught urv that nothing can be taken for granted; most things turn out to be illusions

life has taught rantrareflect to be a self-coagulant, life makes ya bleed, but ya need to heal yourself n live on..

life has taught ceedy> that it has taught him really nothing and that he is still learning from the learned.

life has taught vandita that its not always fair and that might actually be required sometimes

life has taught sri to work for his dreams, even though its hard to achieve them everytime

life has taught adi that it is impossible to understand some people

life has taught alok that nothing defines but oneself and that he must remain true to his definition

life has taught anuj that it is more important to enjoy what you have rather than keep running after things that would eventually turn out to be meaningless
and 'to be himself and that things/people are not always what you think them to be

life has taught deepali that life goes on...Things change, people change, but life goes on.

life has taught stupidosaur that he dosent have a life and that it simply means theres nothing for him to learn :p

life has taught abhishek khanna the grass always looks greener on the other side.. but u never know!

life has taught ash89 that no matter what happens...someone will always be there to hold your hand and get you out of the worst

life has taught tulipspeaks that she will die the day she stops trying :)

life has taught punam that it is always best to let God do the talking for you. He always takes care of you, and answers all those people who hurt you in his own divine way.(and this she is speaking from experience)

life has taught anonymous that which doesnt kill you makes you stronger
that u should follow your heart..but make sure you know your heart before
that you should never let anyone fall for you if you are not going to be around to catch
to treasure your loved ones..because thats all you really have
ki paisa sab kuch nahi hai par sab kuch se kam bhi nahi hai

thanks everyone for sharing with us what life has taught you....this post will serve as a record...you are free to submit in your comments/learnings/views whenever u want...the lessons will be suitably updated for the others to learn from and you to smile over :)
thanks for sharing and reminding us about these pearls of wisdom which at some point, we all have been made to learn but some of which we somehow forgot along the way....
using the lessons that life has taught you through ur own experiences and of those around is entirely upto you though...so u gotta decide for yourself...afterall your are the only person who knows whats best for you...




take care and god bless! :)

fill in the blanks....

complete the following in not more than 12 words.

"life has taught me...."

(just a side note:i read somewhere that 'all of us learn something in life---something which someone somewhere needs to remember'
hence this is a humble attempt to compile life's valuable lessons right here at nostalgic moments...
sometimes we cant afford to wait to learn all the lessons ourselves...
perhaps, sharing our thoughts will help someone learn something life has already taught us and probably us too in learning some lesson life has rendered someone else....

i admit life sometimes feels like one hell dark scary tunnel...but lets try and spread some light while we can :)

cheers!)

its all about celebrating nostalgia....

scribbler: I want to see pics of your house
Do you have any?
me: umm....il'l have to search
will get some through
:)
scribbler: kewl
I like to see houses
It tells so much
me: it does??
and hows that?
scribbler: They have stories to tell in every storey :P
me: ahaa....
now thats interesting
har ghar chupchap se yeh kehta hain,
ki andar isme kaun rehta hain ;)
scribbler: you bet
me: thats the asian paint ad...special :p
scribbler:You know these things what they call paranormal activity
me: yaa? what about that?
scribbler: I've read and also one of my Colleagues who's into such stuff told me
jus like the audio gets recorded on the tapes
Some incidents make a deep impact on the walls
or the interiors of a house
me: :)
i think thats kinda true maybe
scribbler: it seems tht the walls do have ears in way
10:45 AM me:some incidents are forever saved in my house or maybe more like in my memory
and whenever i go to those rooms, i relive it all again
:)
scribbler: like for example if someone's brutally murdered in a room
You do get the vibes when ur there
THt was more of a sad example
me: heyy yaa thats scary..
im talking about positive experiences
scribbler: but it applies to the most happiest moments too
me: yeps...i agree...
scribbler: like for eg: the places we lived during our childhood
Nostalgia is triggered from both sides
me: hmm
10:47 AM scribbler: It's just like smelling an empty tin of strawberries
even if the strawberries aren't there
you know tht strawberries were there some how

me: :) thats a beautiful interpretation
10:49 AM scribbler: I so wanna go to my granny's place and take a nap there :-/
but tht place is sold
me: but u know scribs...sometimes this very same thing make us not ever want to go the same place again
scribbler: in a way it does
like bitter experiences
10:50 AM me: its more like everytime u enter that particular spaqce, u relive all of it..the memories come back...and u realise they are just memories now
dosent it make u miss them all the more?
scribbler: OH yes
you're right
me: no im not speaking about bitter experiences here
me: just some sweet moments which unfortunately are not with u nemore
scribbler: and thts how it is sweeto
You only know when it's over
10:51 AM me: very true
scribbler: I'm just learning to live for NOW
me: but then reliving it can only bring pain....pain that its over
pain that u would never get to live it again .....if not for these brief moments when alone
10:52 AM scribbler: we get so carried away at times with other things that our present is lost. And before we know it's past
me: yaa i agree...and i sometimes i feel its plain escapism not to visit those places nemore for fear of memories which haunt u
10:53 AM me but then the question is are u strong enough??
i guess there comes a stage when these same memories become ur best friend and dont hurt u anymore
10:54 AM the point is by doing this are we trying to cling on to the past?
scribbler: how true
me: and if we are, then is it the best thing to do?
scribbler: It's foolish to live in the past
10:56 AM But It's ok to look back
It's like this rear view mirror in the car. You gotta glance at it at times. But constantly peering into it won't help you at all.
10:57 AM me: hmmm...
me: what if u just remove off the rear view mirror...break it maybe...
i know that would be a risk to life...
but atleast ur freed in a way
:)
scribbler: It's not advisable to remove it
It comes standard
10:59 AM Removing it would only let you make more mistakes
YOu need to refer to your past experiences at times, don't you?
me: but thats only when u fear ur going to go the same path again...
11:00 AM scribbler: not necessarily
me: u dont need to refer to the past if all ur trying to do is run away from it...from anything like it...from everything
looking back and running will only tire u out
11:01 AM scribbler: Perceptions differ
if you consider mistakes as experiences I don't think it would
but if it's vice versa, you're stoppin urself with regrets
me: noo its not thatt...its more of not considering experiences as mistakes
:)
more of not regretting anything yet not wanting to repeat it someplace again...cos ur soo full of ur experiences that ur having a tough time making room for new ones
scribbler: I remember leaving behind a whole lot of things,
Some of it can be reclaimed and some will remain unchanged.
Few moments that can’t be reversed and a few things I may have to let go.
Because I believe that yesterday’s sacrifices become blessings of tomorrow....

the above is an excerpt from a conversation between 'scribbler' (from the blog world) and me...it happened to be one of those very few conversations which make u ponder long after they are over....
sometimes people who u feel dont know much about your life can actually surprise you by making few pieces of the puzzle fall right back into place....
its probably because all of us share a common pattern somewhere....dunno!

yesterday, i went through that locked chest of memories once again...and it was surprising how i felt them lying right there in some corners of my home where i had last left them......
it was painful--the realisation that i can never relive them again like the exact first time i experienced them....but the fact that they still happened to be fresh in the mind inspite of those several attempts to leave them behind amazed me, making me smile at the irony....

yesterday scribbler taught me something---that no matter how much ur running from them, its okay to peep back once in a while and gaze at those lessons of yesteryears but only long enough to learn from them and move ahead......
trying to avoid them will only drag their extra baggage wherever u go.....
memories are inevitable...dont try to change them...just play 'truce' :)

im sure all of us have atleast one memory we would want to live all over again....so feel free if u want to share them and help make a beautiful collage of nostalgia right here at 'nostalgic moments' :)

i dont know u enough...and neither do u and probably thats what eliminates the bias...nobodys going to judge u here...the moment u want to relive may be from any phase in your life....any part of your house...any corner of your world....
(updated: but i also understand that u might not want to share your memories because it is only natural sometimes to be selfish about things/incidents/moments that are very dear to us...so thats completely fine too...i leave you to decide...)

whether they are shared with others or not, one things for sure they are definitely not meant to be caged or locked away (atleast from the self)---these precious memories....life is all about setting them free and yet never losing them....
so open up your heart and release them....
lets not avoid them...lets not run away from them...
today, lets celebrate them for a change :)

spoiler ahead...but read--u might just want to be warned....

ok imagine this----
u are kidnapped by a psycho who has thrown u in some dingy surroundings with the constant threat of being killed...
he dosent smile...
he dosent laugh...
the guy dosent speak much (*HORRORS*) and neither does he allow you to speak much (*DOUBLE HORRORS*)...
the freak wants to kill your dad....
the freak has caught hold of your neck, tied ur hands,gagged you, slapped u hard on the face on several ocassions and even done some real freaky antics like placing ur hand on the table and running a knife through your fingers without looking....
in short the goon is a potential threat to your life...

now would u in your right senses wear skimpy outfits and prance all around the place where ur held hostage? :-/ (please remember ur kidnapped..so dont ask me where u'd get those from)
would u change standing on the opposite side of a flimsy see-through curtain with a huge bulb/lamp lit in the room ur changing in?? :-/
would u look really impressed and find it cool that the jackass has got some wires together and played around with camera settings and can see whatever ur poor dad is upto to save ur life??
would u act like uve never seen water and get all drenched in the sea/river/waterfall and try to seduce him with idiotic songs just so that u can hit him with a half broken bottle in the groin??
ok sorry but i did not find it sexy..thought it was pretty dumb actually...but then its bollywood! and ppl just search for excuses to wear white clothes and get drenched and break into a song...

besides i wrecked my head trying to figure out from where she got the bottle and why she couldent stab it in his chest or something..i mean that was a better way of ensuring him killed (if that was the intention in the first place..sigh!) and then it would save her from running soo much too....
yeah, if u still havent figured out what im talking about, let me spell it out for u....im speaking about 'K.I.D.N.A.P' the box office release this week....
sadly this turns out to be just another 'leave ur brains behind' movie....
Minissha lamba has tried very hard to make the audience not leave the movie hall midways (guy audience for obvious reasons)
unfortunately even the much spoken about superbikini shot failed to distract the audience for more than 10 seconds....

i mean cmon, since when did daddy dearest start climbing buildings like spiderman...if 'kabir' (imran khan) learnt all that while in jail, how did 'vikrant' (sanjay dutt)get the time to train himself with him being one of the richest and busiest man in the world??

there are many such unbelievable scenes...but the last scene takes away not only the cake but the baker and the bakery too :-/
can u imagine someone shot dead in the middle of a new years party (and that too while he is standing in the centre of a stage) and not one soul noticing??
ok its supposed to be a 'rave' party and all that sleaze but cmonnnnn!! *rolling eyes*

to make matters worse, we are reminded innumerable times by our dear insecure superheros that there are just TWO main characters 'vikrant and kabir' asif trying hard to say "please dont let the others steal our thunder..they are mere props" :-/

overall, 'KIDNAP' is dissapointment if u go with expectations and a brain

star cast minissha lamba---poor acting but has the potential to shed go the 'sherawat' way...
imran khan---the guy has quite well managed the negative image and proved that he isnt just a chocolate hero like uncle dearie...
sanjay dutt---he is choosing roles suited to his age but unfortunatelyis still expected by the filmmakers to play superhero which dosent go well with his whole parental image...
vidya malvade---she should choose roles her age instead of playing against oldies....she was good in chakde...she didnt deserve this :-/

music huh??? ohh yaa......music is by pritam
anyways whatever little there was of it, wasent needed....
director: sanjay gadhav(i) ;)

personal rating:maybe a 3/10

hellos peoples ;)

i just discovered this link on keshi's blog...with a lot of time on my hands and special credit to the dead weight of inertia which is holding me down these days, i had no other choice but to indulge in such nonsensical activities and humour myself ;)
neverthless i enjoyed playing around and as u must have noticed it dosent take much for me to have fun...me with my selfdiagnosed BIPOLAR disorder....sigh!!
anyways........






(this one above, i guess is truly bollywood inspired ;) )









and this last one was for the records---the 'yaadein' effect...the perfect blend of nostalgia and memories....i tried hard to blend in a coloured pic with the B&W background (thought that would be a more innovative idea) but much to my dissapointment, it dint work....
anyways fair enough as it goes with the vintage look of my blog...so heres to 'nostalgic moments' ;)

i could have posted a few hundred more ya know...but i thought i should maintain a low profile....heehee
P.S: dare to call me a narcissist and il'l personally come over and murder you!! :-/