November 21, 2008

no beginning...no end...!!

why am i afraid?
what am i scared of?
do i know him or do i just think i do?
is he as indifferent...as arrogant as he comes across sometimes?
and if that is true, then why am i still drawn towards him amongst the crowd??
and then again, am i really important to him as well or is it that im feeling that way only because i probably want to?
is this just friendship or am i just being afraid and labelling it as that?

and then thinking about it, what is it that is holding me back?
fear, insecurity or a deep sense of comfort that things are good the way they are....??
since when have i been soo afraid of speaking out my thoughts?
since when have i feared the outcome soo much?
since when have i been soo confused about my feelings?
have i changed back again into that vulnerable wretch i promised myself never to change into?
am i treading into the 'crush' 'infatuation' or worse still...the 'love' zone??
or am i just reading too much into it thanks to the stupid bollywood flicks im wasting time over these days?

some questions are never answered....
some answers are lost along the way....
and some deliberately unattended to...

i might never know what it is...because some emotions are best ignored!! :)

P.S: you are requested to refrain from jumping to any definite conclusion atleast not until i reach one myself....lol!!

28 comments:

Prakhar said...

can easily relate to ..how u feel...

Anonymous said...

i jumped into a conclusion.. then i read your P.S line....

hehe.. i sed to have such similar feelings when I am drunk... join the club pub! cheers

Rambler said...

I think you chose the apt title, no beginning no end

Anonymous said...

wow, i suffered with the same feeling only to fizz out at the end, but i wish u luck to take this at logicall conclusion positive one at that :)

khushi said...

I also got stuck at questions like these, got answers for some too
but still i feel that some questions must be left unanswered! :)

Cheers
Khushi

lukkydivz said...

:O

congratulation :D :D LOL

Anonymous said...

wow!who is the lucky one?

magar itni confused kyon ho? apne dil se poocho ki dost hain ya pyaar? :)
jawab khudbakhud mil jayega

((pri))

Prashanti :) said...

hey pri,
" do i know him or do i just think i do?
is he as indifferent...as arrogant as he comes across sometimes?
and if that is true, then why am i still drawn towards him amongst the crowd?? "

Can relate to these lines...I guess boys are just that way.

Prashanti

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

it happens , when you feel like asking if its a crush (again) or maybe not.

see i haven't yet jumped to a conclusion.:D

Unknown said...

hi sweety..!
questions running in and out of your mind..
!
find answers to it..interpret, interogate, intercept..!:)
haapy weekend pri maam:)

Pavi!!!! said...

AWWW ;)

ya leave some Qs unanswered n see wat the future holds :) n ya don frgt to keep smilin!

Anil Sawan said...

ur profile pic says u look good smiling. keep that intact, the rest would answer itself.

Faith Lasts said...

hmm I like the way you put it!
So clearly yet so unclear
LOL
Keep going

Pri said...

@ prakhar
i guess everybody can...at one point or the other :)

@ chriz
hic hic! maybe yuo are rgiht! ;)

@ rambler
thanks :)

@ sam
thankyou
well dunno what the conclusion will be....but the good part about conclusions is they atleast give things a clearer perspective :)

@ khushi
yeps ur absolutely right...some emotions are better ignored...some questions better unasked :)

Pri said...

@ luckydivz
LOL! the 'PS part' was especially for u divyu (read it again) :D

@ niki
lucky or unlucky yeh toh nahi pata....
aur dil se naa poochoo toh hi accha...kyonki dil khudgarz hain...bharosa nahi kiya ja sakta ;)

@ prashanti
hmmm i dunno....with him, this isnt an 'always' statement though...he is a very sweet person too :)

@ il'l try to be truthful
lol!! yus yus i can see that ur trying hard :p

Pri said...

@ crazyheart
naah the best answers are the ones which themselves find their way to you...
i think il'l just spare myself the effort (ok maybe this is an excuse for being lazy) and wait till the conclusion reaches me instead of me reaching a conclusion :D

@ pavi!!
eggjactly what i think....ive learnt in life that the future always decides anyways...so i think i'll just stand back and let it...thankyou dear :)

@ sawan
thanks for the compliment :)
and trust me, rest assured u'l always find me smiling no matter what!
im done with my share of tears...infact much much more than my share..touchwood! :)

@ bhaw
i cant really help it...thats how it actually is to me :(
confused??...me too...sigh!

WritingsForLife said...

i dont know if one should ignore our feelings. Sometimes i think it is better to ignore the fears, or at least try to :-)

Anonymous said...

priiiiii!!!!!!
u broke soo many hearts with this post including mine :(
kis bande ne humse humari ummeed cheeni hain?? :((

Phoenix said...

this is one helluva poem... i soo identify with it...as beautiful as ever


i know i have been a moron.. i know you are hurt... but i promise this time im not losing your link...that i will surely frequent here more often

Lucifer said...

ignorance is bliss...enjoy till it lasts...jus bask in d feelin :)

Pri said...

@ raaji
well what if it is the fear of not knowing the feelings right :(
one's own confusion can be pretty scary sometimes....

@ adi
bery phunny! :-/

@ phoenix
missed ya girl :)
glad ur back!

@ mayz
u cant really enjoy when u know ur the one being ignorant...
u cant bask in ur own confusion :(

cm chap said...

Hey Pri....

u knw wat im nt jumping into conclusion...bcoz I knw you have made the conclusion already. Its only matter of time before it appears on top surface..lol

Handle with care :)

But will ask you all my Q's soon :)

radiohead said...

Whatever it is .. it seems to be a good feeling .. its unexplained .. but its good ;)

Anil Sawan said...

tell that to urself, cos u never know how the world is gona react to that tomorrow! you and me would never run out of tears,no matter how ever we try. so better learn to smile through your tears ;-)

**tip: as a child, when i used to cry [after my dad beats me for many reasons], my sis used to tell me, "stop crying or else you would become more beautiful then me!" and then i laughs ;-) so tell that to urself => stop crying or else you would land in more troubles.. the world is looking out for gorgeous girls to shower more reasons to make them gorgeous[read cry]!

Rià said...

beautifully written and i totally agree with the end!! :)

Pri said...

@ cm-chap
really? u think ive actually got it all sorted out??.i wish i could have as much confidence in myself as u have in me...thankyou! :D

///But will ask you all my Q's soon :)///
uhoh :-/
but i dont guarantee answers...not atleast i find them myself :)

@ anuj
hmm i guess it is....but then as i said---sometimes explaining feelings simply complicates things...so i guess it is good as long as it is unexplained even to the self :)

@ sawan
hmm i guess ur right there...there is no end to problems and life never gets tired of offering them...i agree u can never be prepared but at times tears lose their value and somewhere within they freeze :)

as for the tip, i think i managed to find a compliment hidden there...so thankyou :D

@ ria
thanks dear...and the end may very well be the only real thing in this post...time will tell :)

Suresh Kumar said...

But some emotions are so strong that It will not allow you to ignore them. Here also, you had a good tug of war with the emotions before letting it go....
Not everyone would be successful as you are.

IncorrigibleV said...

a lot like how i feel when i ask myself too many questions at once and cant even answer one!