the choice...

she is standing there all dressed in white...she looks calm..serene..unaffected..a strange glow lights up her face...she seems happy..content...calling me towards her with motherly affection...
i take a few steps in her direction....when all of a sudden, a strange fear grips me...
there is only one question playing on my mind like a broken record---should i go ahead???
it is then that i hear a faint call.i turn to see a shadow---blurred, hazy, discrete..."dont run away from me my child, come back to me" it keeps saying....
there is a strange solace in that voice...a reaasuring note which wants me to rush back...just like a child rushes back into his mothers arms when he is afraid...

but then something holds me from going back..there is this lady in white who seems soo genuine...soo much like she wants to see me happy..the light she is emanating makes me feel that she is going to be there to show me the way...to guide me..but she says nothing...she just smiles and asif reading the thought in my head says "ask yourself"

i try to concentrate but my attention is broken over and over again by the shadow calling out to me...it seems familiar--the voice..asif ive heard it before..from close quarters...yet it is suspiciously artificial...
it seems convincing enough to make me feel that it needs me to return to it, promising to keep me safe forever...secure and strong forever..yet i am afraid...not satisfied...

but the lady in white is a stranger...and maybe that is the fear tugging at me...maybe i am soo used to the familiarity that i am feeling afraid to put my trust in a stranger who i havent ever seen before...yet somehow, there is this conviction---this strong gut feeling...this voice in my head telling me to take those steps forward towards the light...

i turn to see the shadow again...it looks sad...looks lonely, saying-- "please dont go..how will i live without you?" ..damn!! it must be missing me!
i strain my ears to hear if the 'light' ahead has something to say...but it is still silent..not a single word..just the pristine smile which tells me that i wouldent regret my decision had i to choose the path infront...i give it a questioning look again and all it says is "ask yourself"..

i stand there helpless and confused not knowing where to go...

i have to choose between the two...
the comforting security of the shadow or the silence of the light??
the familiar road i had once been or the bright path of which im clueless about??
the past that was or the future that awaits???

i close my eyes and stand rooted to the exact spot i am standing---not knowing what to do....
i hope the heavens above give me some sorta sign...that the 'great force' sends me some sorta signal...

with eyes shut tight, i try to focus my attention on the image forming in my head...
it is that of an 'hourglass'---probably life's way of telling me that im running out of time...
DISCLAIMER: this post is not written in a complete state of conciousness (thanks to the fever which has suddenly gone bad to worse in one damn day and managed to spoil all plans of the short holiday i was supposed to go for)..
so that leaves behind the following probabilities---
a) i get a 'high' outta depression sometimes and i dont even know it...the hangover results in such creations..
b) my past and future has a very blurred face (considering its tough recognising a 'shadow' and a 'glow')
c) my life till now has all been just a dream...
d) i am actively hallucinating...
e) all of the above...
and last but not the least,
f) none of the above..points a) to e) were afterall just 'your' imagination ;)