the notebook called life!!

Life is a notebook handed over to us the day we are born..
we are allowed to record our moments..
we are allowed to turn the pages as fast or as slow as we want to..
we are allowed to pour out our heart on the empty white sheets.
we are allowed to sketch our dreams in all their myriad colours.

sometimes, it also permits us to staple together those pages we do not ever want to read again...
but human as we are, we tend to go back at times...life allows even that-we can carefully remove the staples to have a quick peep once in a while..this does include the risk of tearing the edges a little, but if we are careful enough, we can prevent the damage.
afterall thats how we introspect dont we---by removing the staples??!!

life is a notebook and what we write in it is for us to decide...
but one thing is pre-decided---we arnt allowed to write in pencil..because words in pencil fade away..scribbles in pencil can be rubbed off when wanted.
but life--it only allows us to write in dark ink.
we can never really wipe off what we have once written.nor can we expect it to fade..
yes, we can ignore it if we want but its right there..its almost always a 'you can run but u cant hide' scenario!
ripping off pages is also futile because eventually that will only end up loosening the binding which will cause all the pages to scatter.

life is a notebook and our job is to make notes along the way...
notes which will guide us in writing the subsequent pages..
words which will bring back memories as we flip the pages open...
some chapters we manage to close yet not complete..
some scribbles which are too incomprehensible for anyone to read..
some poetry which the eye is not able to understand yet the heart is able to recite..
some experiences which we wouldn't trade for even a thousand brand new books...
yes there would be moments of hurt, pain, let down expectations, unfulfilled dreams, pent up hatred, which definitely would bring a tear to the eye.
but as we turn the pages we would realise, how those experiences made us stronger..how we emerged a winner against them..how we welcomed happiness even after we thought we never could..and most importantly how we learnt to dream all over again.
and afterall what is life without a few challenges and what is success without a few failures? of what use is a notebook if we werent allowed to write in it?? the sheer magic of life is in its unpredictability..it does not allow u to have any clue today, what tomorrows page would be like---tear stained, joy filled, stapled, enthusiastic or blank!!

life is a note book, one which is very private and personal..one which only the owner is supposed to read and write into..but as we fill in the pages with details of our mundane life, we sometimes come across that special someone who we can trust enough to hand over the book..someone who we know will treasure it more than we do...someone we can put our whole life at stake for..someone who teaches us the true meaning of love and trust..and that is the time we start writing through someone else's words..
we dream through someone else's dreams...
we see through someone else's eyes...
we live another life in addition to our own...
that is when we stop writing and that thing called 'love' takes over filling in all the details by itsself.

life is a notebook--one which will destroy itsself when it comes to the last page.
but the pages written by love will still remain, flying free knowing no bounds, speaking of the bond that is immortal thus bringing about a strange sorta satisfaction...
a satisfaction that we made it even through the end!!

of lucid dreams and a stubborn reality

gazing aimlessly at the star studded sky,
i connect the silver dots to form a pattern...
and all i can see up there is,
a little less of you and me,
and a little more of us!!

wondering how it could have been,
trying to ignore what should have been...
i find myself struggling to focus on reality,
but all in vain, i slip into an abyss of endless dreams,
only to wake up again and remind myself,
that life is, what it has always been,
a little more of you and me,
and a little less of us!!

a picture speaks a thousand words!!

BOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!! :( :(

my my, how can i resist you??..sigh!

some people just cannot afford to have the luxury of dwelling too long in any emotion be it happiness or sadness..
they just have to snap themselves out off the trance every single damned time and keep going even at the risk of being labelled a manic-depressive dramaqueen!! (bite your tongue, i can mindread--thats what some of you just called me dint you?? *shoots an angry glance*)


anyhoo i hereby quote the original lines from 'American Beauty'---

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...
And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude.. for every single moment.. of my stupid little life...
You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

and by the by, in case u havent noticed, all this just goes to say that im BACKKKKKKKK!!! ;)

so here's to blogsville and all you wonderful folks out here...
cheers!! :)

why??!!

there are some promises which will never be broken
there are some questions which will never be asked
there is an unsettling silence which will keep creeping up
there is a distance which will keep growing
.
...
.......
.........
..........
...............
......................
and yet, there is a hope that some stories might perhaps complete themselves...in another time...in another world!!

the devils workshop goes creative!!

i accidently came across this video on youtube.
have u ever heard this song??

i am clueless about what prompted these lyrics...i guess the guy writing them was hungry and had to meet a deadline and the poor thing just couldnt distract himself off the food...
and then again, guess "lurrve" in hindi cinema goes with almost everything---even 'batatawada' :p

yenjoy!!
(i wonder if the choreographer was inspired by 'betal' from 'vikram and betal' for some of the moves in this song...chk it out--ul'l get to know what i mean!)


now that uve heard and seen the video, please humour me and sing aloud my inspired composition maintaining the original looney tune of the song.ok? u can even dance the betaal step if u want! *angelic smile*

(starts with combination of nagiin dance+classical)
"batatawada heyy, batatawadaaaaa
ketchup nahi lenaaa tha, lenaaaa padaaaa
oh oh oh oh
batatawada batatawada!!

batatawada,heyyy, batatawada, hoyee
churan nahi khaaana thaa, khanaa pada..
ahaha ahaha
batatawada batatawada!!

(now the much awaited 'betaal' step..try from a table top---go!)
hote the jo hosh mein hum,
aise na hum yoon khatee..hoyee
accha yaheen tha pehle,
hum iske paas naa aatee

ab ise na khaana hain, mushkil bada
ahahhhhhh
batata wada heyy, batata wada!!
ketchup nahi lena thaa, lenaa padaaa..
batata wadaa dadada
batata wadaaa!!

lagta hain bhooke pet ke armaan nikal gaye,
kaisi hain acidity hum jisme jal gaye...
laa jaldi ENO' kaa, glass badaaaaaa
batata wada, heyy, batataa wadaaa!!
ENO nahi peena thaaaha, peena padaa...
batata wadaa, oh ho oh hoo..batatawada!!

(now with anil kapoor beating the dholak like a mad man and madhuri dancing like a drunk woman)
masti mein health ki kashti jaaye na doob apni,
tu ek paar utre, insurance hain khoob apni..
tu aise hi paka lena, main khaunga khana sadaaaa
batatawada batatawadaaaa!!

batatawada batatawada hahaha
batatawada batatawada heehehehhe
ketchup nahi lena tha, lenaaa padaa
batatawada batatawada!!"


i'd make a better lyricist dontya think? huh? huh?

ok so have the neighbours gathered yet?? *rubs hands in glee*

whatttt!!!! no?? u mean u dint sing aloud? hmpfffffff!! :-/
nobody has respect for my talent feelings i tellya!
*goes away sobbing*

of unrequited love and falling out!!

can a person fall out of love??

i was speaking to a friend yesterday about this and according to him, if a person falls out of love, it probably never was 'love' in the first place...

that statement of his got me wondering...
he further said that its more of a crush or an infatuation if u fall 'out' of it...
thinking about it, i dont quite agree...

in my honest opinion, no relationship can work if one-sided..ofcourse there is this strong feeling of unconditional love that u justify urself with..but somewhere down the line it tends to wear off and then things either turn ugly or just simplify themselves.
lemme explain my point---consider a situation between 'A' and 'B' ...now if 'A' has feelings for 'B' but 'B' does not have any feelings for 'A' then what 'A' feels for 'B' is also love (according to universal definitions--though the small voice within me is nudging me to add that love is supposed to be a set involving TWO ppl with the SAME feelings for each other).
but going by universal definitions, when 'A' is in love with 'B' but 'B' isnt, then the question is how long can 'A' stay in love with 'B'??

ok this again depends on how 'B' is towards 'A' but clearly if 'B' does not love 'A' who inturn is in love with 'B' then it only means he/she will start expecting 'B' to react in certain ways which 'B' wouldent understand..and then there will arise confusion..chaos..dissatisfaction!!
and eventually 'A' will realise that relationships work best only when balanced and clearly this is not the case and slowly but surely start falling out of love with 'B'

is it fair to say that 'A' was never in love with 'B' and that it was just a crush?
isnt it unfair for feelings to remain just the same even when they are not reciprocated?
i strongly feel that it is but natural to fall out of love when it is not reciprocated and yes i also feel that it is only fair to realise and not be the fool or in some cases the psycho in the relationship (if you can call it one).
at the same time, i wudent belittle the feelings 'A' had for 'B' to begin with, by saying its just a crush which passed away..neither would i dismiss it off as an 'ego matter'.
i would simply call it 'falling out of love'!! :)

ok now coming to the only other situation that can arise---consider a different situation with a different 'A and 'B'...wherein 'A' and 'B' are in love to begin with and gradually 'A' realises one fine day, that he/she isnt in love anymore.he has fallen out of it...now what should 'B' do?
i say "nothing".dont try too hard to fall out of love because eventually it will happen.it may take days, weeks, months or maybe years.that clearly depends on how many fairytales and chickflicks uve seen and believed in as a juvenile.
but soon enough ul be right there and just like u did when u bumped into love, u will just know when u fall right out of it!!

practical or cold hearted as it may sound, i think it is humanly not possible to keep loving someone when he/she clearly does not feel the same about you...because somewhere down the line, when things get bitter or cold, there are no memories to lean back on--there is no love to depend on..
instead there are moments of hurt which keep coming back to you.
moments of unreciprocated feelings..
moments of misunderstandings..
moments of let down expectations..
and apparently and ironically thats when things appear crystal clear!!

ofcourse again you are left with a choice---u either face it and allow yourself to fall out of love (its easy--you just gotta keep your eyes and ears open..but its also not that easy because u gotta keep your heart closed as well to the many reality checks u have to keep inflicting upon yourself at the cost of some self-humiliation over and over again plus the fact that crushing those rose coloured glasses love makes u wear is kinda painful as well) or as the only other option goes, stay in love, bask in the feeling as long as it lasts, build castles in the air, day dream about happy endings and eventually cry with the broken pieces once the one-sided fairytale is formerly over!

I agree falling out of love is never easy but at times it is very much needed.
sometimes just like falling in love, it catches u by surprise and one fine day u realise u are not in love with that person anymore...
but sometimes u just gotta try and try and try to wake up---just like beating yourself with a hammer til that part of u grows numb only so that when u eventually stop, it'l feel good...

all said and done, there are people for whom falling out of love is just as easy as falling into it..
but there are also those 'i-will-believe-what-i-want-to-believe' dreamers who just need that extra shove from reality!!

A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
---Abraham Cowley

peace to all!
cheers..