so what does the phone say about you??

writers note--all categories in this post are inspired by real life people/conversations and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional.

I hereby categorise people into five clear groups on the basis of how they sound while conversing on phone.............im sure everyone can relate to this...so please do not accuse me of being judgemental..

1) wet blankets----these are ultra cynical souls who can encourage normal people into attempting suicide..
no amount of enthusiasm on the part of the other person can manage to get the least bit of pep in their voice..
they sound 'dead' and if you dont wrap up the conversation fast, you might end up sounding just like them..
this category of people should be avoided:
---when in a good mood
---before going out to a party, social gathering, get-together
---after coming from a party, social gathering, get-together
---in extremes of depressive phases (they can only make matters worse)

more than half the times, this category of people can manage to disgust or depress you even before they answer the call..
im sure you must be having at least one person in your life that you can relate the above mentioned with..you know, the kind who never answers the phone when you have to tell someone the greatest news in the world...and when if they do eventually answer it, they will just make sure that it no more feels like good news??
yeah..thats the kind im talking about..sigh!

2) the perky peps---as opposed to the above category, this group manages to pep up your spirits with that little happy ring in their voice, make you smile because you can actually feel they are smiling on hearing them and needless to mention never let their mood affect the flow of the conversation..
they are the type who despite of getting irked during the conversation, will never say 'bye' on a bitter note..
such people are always a pleasure to speak to..


3) the karma chameleons----now this is a sect of people who's every phone call depends on how the previous phone conversation with you has gone..in short, they never forget!
they decice your 'karma' and accordingly change colours tones.
and the worst part is you are caught absolutely unaware with no frigging clue on why they are sounding so pleased or so pissed...
just blame it on the 'karma'!!

4) the monosyllabic maestros
this sect of people are ardent followers of ronan keating and think that they say it best when they say nothing at all..
personally, im not someone for whom silent conversations work..so whenever that happens, i focus on other noises in the background.and dont blame me if i get curious about the yelling, the gaali galosh or sweet nothings being whispered by someone in your extended family or by your neighbour on the 3rd floor or for something i am not supposed to be hearing...its not my fault!
often times these monosyllabic maestros are misunderstood as being arrogant and impolite when all that is to be blamed might be poor communication skills.
frankly, such people should restrict themselves to attending only job interviews and business calls, because they clearly cannot help anyone else with their 'yes' and 'no'.


5) and last but not the least, the one-sided conversationalist-----this category, as the name suggests include people who can never face the risk of being lonely or alone..
they can talk and talk and talk without actually bothering if the person at the other end is sleeping, comatose or dead (not that they would do much anyways)
people belonging to this category can get along very well with 'monosyllabic maestros' because neither party is actually interested in what the other has to say..and needless to mention, both wind up having a very satisfied and mentally undisturbing conversation..

but if you want to say something or speak you mind, then these people are clearly not going to be the choice to call.chances are they might completely ignore what you have to say and start off beating their own trumpet which wont stop unless you slam the phone down in anguish (for all you know, they are most likely not even going to notice that) because your brain is already exploding with all kinda muttered rubbish and you have forgetten what you wanted to say in the first place too.
members of this species have a tendency of repeating things which they have mentioned on previous occasions since they hardly bother to keep in mind what they are saying..

most of the times they do not even expect you to remember..which may be considered as a blessing to some.
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and with that, we come to an abrupt halt, because i have finished playing category-category..thankyou! *drumrolls in the background*

okay!!!!???!!!..soooooooo what are you waiting for??
you can get back to work...that's all for now!

tsk tsk!!
i mean like seriously, dont you guys have anything better to do??!!!!