tempted!!

my listless mind meanders, tempting me yet again!!!
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i am tempted to ease all your pain,
am tempted to fall once again...
am tempted to start over new,
just tempted to be with you...

and as each day goes floating by,
this temptation brings another why,
a why with no explanation to give,
a why with which i will learn to live...

to answer it is futile an attempt,
yet something wants me to succumb to the tempt...
keeping me away from all temptations new,
why cant it rather stop me from missing you?

just two steps away and i can go back there,
but maybe all has changed and you'd no longer care...
i might not be needed or welcomed ever,
and the price to pay could be misery forever...

something tempts me to go and check,
and yet, im afraid of being called a wreck...
what if im mocked at, insulted and thrown,
again a choice made and again left alone...

i want to be there, yet never be found,
want to stay away, yet always be around...
to be able to slip away so that noone can see,
and yet know you are always with me...

want to watch silently cos i know i care,
as life goes on,though at times dosen't feel fair...
As i wish i could stay and know more about u,
i cant stop wondering if you'd be missing me too...

tempted but doubt if it'd ease the pain,
tempted but afraid to fall once again,
tempted but scared to start over new,
tempted but clueless if you are tempted too...
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(this piece was scribbled by me in one of life's vulnerable moments...found the desolate sketch rolled in a crumpled ball of paper, while cleaning one of my drawers today)