SERENDIPITY---your story...my words!

I'm caught in a whirl pool of words begging to be written...
But how do I write a story with neither a beginning nor end?

Reality does not allow me to make believe and fiction refuses to camouflage into something that i can relate to.
I'm feeling suffocated...caught...helpless.
There are words screaming in my head, yearning to be written.
But who would be interested in a story floating in mid air?

I need a framework.
I need a support system to spin my words around.
I need a muse to get inspired by and acknowledge.

I yearn to listen to a story..a story which no one has heard before and yet manages to make my heart write it down in words, words that would make every reader wince, cringe, sigh and smile...a passion that would make the strongest heart melt and the weakest heart tough.
I need a frame which would engulf the power of my words and make me struggle to live up to its expectations.
I want a challenge---to keep writing about and still crave to write more of, not to capture the readers attention..but more because ending it would mean breaking free from the connection.
and yet, I want a story which everyone would read and remember for the rest of their lives.

A tumble of unspoken desires...a cascade of unfulfilled dreams...the unfathomable itch to write a tale that has never been told---and yet a part of life that everyone has lived--you could provide me the skeleton, and I promise to fill it with life.

I'm caught in a whirl pool of words begging to be written, gnawing at me every moment, asking me to find a story to do justice with.

Have you ever wished someone would write your story??
Do you think my search will end at you?

Mere...tumhare...sabke liye...

Here's wishing you all a very happy and dazzling Diwali!!! :)

Against all odds...

My body trembled against yours,
skin to skin you held me close...
as our breaths sang in perfect unison,
to create a beautiful symphony of souls,
that day when we fought against all odds...
and got it even...

Better friends or bitter lovers,
sans knowing we had made amends...
you clasped my shivering hand in yours,
as I melted in your trusting arms,
that day when we fought against all odds,
and got it even...

A thousand arguments left half finished,
were put to rest in pent up passion...
the air was tense-our love at ease,
as I gazed into your longing eyes,
that day when we fought against all odds,
and got it even...

A bond of commitment it had changed into,
and nothing more I could have asked...
you carved your initials in my heart,
as I fiddled with my wedding ring,
that day when we fought against all odds,
and got it even...

Reflections

All around you searched in vain,
in every cranny, corner and nook,
in golden fields and sparkling creeks,
in each rivulet, stream and brook...

in thunder clouds and rainy skies,
in rainbows and stars galore,
in fairy tales and fable crowds,
in acts pleading encore...

in ballads and in soulful songs,
in a beloved's doting eyes,
in words spilled from a poets quill,
in blood thick bonds and ties...

in the morning sun at the crack of dawn,
in the moonlight shimmering bright,
in the guilt of those who knew had wronged,
in the virtue of who were right...

The worry of an unknown tomorrow,
the hunger for lasting cheer,
the search for constant jubilation,
had filled your mind with fear...

The rainbows and stars you noticed not,
were blessings from the skies above...
the silent goodbyes with tear filled eyes,
were cues to have found true love...

But all around you searched in vain,
for something that was never there...
trying to make some sense of life,
you quite lost out your share...

You'd met contentment in every sight,
but were far too busy to see,
It was never the journey that mattered, friend,
it was how you chose it to be!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Writer's note---most of the above write is written metaphorically.Just thought i'd mention :)

Book Review---'Live From London' By Parinda Joshi

Book Title: Live From London.

Author: Parinda Joshi.

Price: Rs 195/-

Publication: Rupa & Co


Truth be told, when i was notified of being selected to review this book, i immediately typed in an enthusiastic reply to blogadda, promising them that the review would be up in a couple of days (since its typically me to devour a piece of good fiction as soon as i get it in hand, in a matter of a few hours at a stretch and i had my hopes and interest high on this one--the reason being, it was a 'rupa & co' publication)

But alas! i find myself struggling through the last few pages, barely because its the fag end of the deadline already.
For those who are into bollywood masala reads, this book manages to capture your interest albeit only for a while.

The 205-pages 'medley of love' (or so it says on the cover page) revolves around 22 year old 'Nishi' who has been living in london with her family and who's life actually starts going topsy turvy after a crazy party which ultimately lands her up in britain's largest talent hunt show, which i found rather a lame excuse to jumpstart the story.
The story sluggishly catches pace with,
--her embarrassment faced on Britain’s Got Talent
--her internship at a record label company
--a ‘steamy’ affair with an NRI American Idol finalist
--a break-up with him (due to a reason who's validity i failed to understand as serious enough for parting ways)
--moving back to India where she gets an opportunity to host a TV show
--and last but not the least, the happily-ever-after ending which did not leave me feeling that great either.
The only reason for relief was that i had finished off with reading the book.

The protagonist seemed to me, bratty in places and comes out too strong in others.
The friends change opinions like snap--which makes you wonder if it is a planned indecisiveness or random spurts of immature behaviour coming from 22 year old's.

With the hope that the characters would raise my interest in the chapters to come, i continued reading.
But unfortunately, it made me eventually lose out on all its characters.
The feeling of empathy towards nishi was gradually dwindling.I was beginning to find the friends to be rather bitchy and temperamental, as well.
The so-called steamy love affair seemed pretty juvenile and the return to india wasn't 'unthinkable' (as was claimed) at all.
In short, too much of predictability ruins the book.

To cut the author some slack, one does feel the subtle doses of humour in the air.
Go to think of it, the storyline has it all---friends, fun, love, complications, a breakup, a struggle and not to forget a happy ending.
The cover page is attractive..and so is the back page synopsis.
What happenes though, is lots of confusion---along the way, following which the sense of emotional detachment with each of the characters, keeps dipping.

Perhaps it was me who had my expectations up too high or maybe when you are 28, life changes you pretty much into a skeptic who finds it a tad bit difficult to relate to easy career breaksthroughs, easier breakups and even more easier happy endings.
However, coming from someone (Parinda Joshi) who belongs to the Entertainment Industry in Los Angeles, is a freelance columnist and a professional Photographer, all bundled up in one, i had expected nothing less than a entertaining page turner.
Rupa and co only raised my expectations further.

But for all its worth, 'live from london' turns out to be pretty much an average read for the starry eyed 20 something's, who might as well enjoy the phase while it lasts.

Rating: 2 out of 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

Turn offs list #2---'Phone Etiquettes Please!!!'

The previous post in the 'turn offs' series here had raised a little discomfort (for lack of a better word) amongst some of my readers.
While most took it in the right spirit, there were a few who thought me to be pretty fussy and had the gall to pass cynical comments about me being judgmental et al..sigh!

I just have one thing to say---my list..my blog!! *yawn*

So presenting before you, list #2 as promised---PEP!!! (Phone Etiquette Please!)*drum rolls and confetti in the background*


Have you ever felt the strong urge to slam the phone down on some people?
I mean, I'm sure everyone has encountered this irritating species who have absolutely no phone manners at all.
You don't know what I mean? well, read on...

1) Remember the time you almost went deaf post that STD/ISD call you made to that far-far-away (pun intended) relative of yours?
Needless to say, I too know some highly irritating people who actually screech on the phone in their high pitched voices making me want to hold the phone a mile away from my ear to prevent my ear drums from bursting.
Seriously, the least one can do is have some sort of mercy on the person on the other end of the call and try and realise that the 'telephone' is no longer the 'two cans with a string attached' game you played as screaming kids...sigh!

2)
Then there are those who are apparently so busy in life that the only time they can make to call people up is when they are grabbing a bite.
What follows is long pauses interspersed with the crunch of an apple, the crackle of chips and occassional slurps of coke. You might also get to hear the 'gurgle and rinse mouth' procedure once they have finished eating (if you manage to still tolerate the one sided conversation).
The above conversationalists (if you can actually call them that) are usually said to be good listeners.
But sadly, the only reason they seem to be listening is because they have their mouths full every time they are on phone.
Heaven forbid, if they try and actually speak something then.
I have personally ended such conversations with a "Ummm, I think I will speak to you after you are through with your lunch." to which I have received replies like "Naaah, this is the best time we can talk." Needless to say, what followed was a distasteful conversation in which I  continued with 'Ahaan...'s and 'Hmmm...'s while the person at the other end slurped and burped away (Neither of us has a clue as to what we spoke that day).
Blasphemy, I tell ya!

3)
One serious advice I would like to render to everyone around is please and I mean PLEASE do not take your cell phones with you to the loo just because you don't want to break the conversation in between, thinking it is impolite to do so.
NO! it is NOT impolite.What is impolite is you strutting to the restroom with your phone to the ear thus leaving the person at the other end with no choice but to hear a wide range of bathroom activities (worse still, if it's a public restroom) while you go yapping away in oblivion.
In case you have forgotten, nobody in this whole wide world wants to hear you pee and then have the idea confirmed by the loud sound of the flush.
and yes, the person on the phone does not need sensitive ears to hear all that.The normal set we humans are gifted with, will do.
So please, the next time you want to answer natures call, hang up!! No matter how important the conversation is, you can always call back in 5 minutes.

4) OK, I have been at my wits end with this one.
There used to be this friend of mine who would speak to me while on his way back home. Initially I would think he was the busiest man on the planet and cut him some slack. But as time passed by, I  realised I was been given pretty much what is called the 'RJ on the drive home' priority.
Still giving him the benefit of doubt, I kept mum..only to find him yelling at me one day because i couldn't hear his voice clearly due to network coverage and asked him to repeat what he said (this was because of the use of hands-free during the drive).
Now that I think back on it, imagine the cheek!
Enough of digressing, lets come to the point. Some idiots have this irritating knack of making you feel you need to visit the ENT, when they can easily solve the issue by either adjusting the distance of the mike/receiver from their big mouth or adjusting the small setting called volume or plain switching off the music system during a call. *rolling eyes*
If that still doesn't solve the problem (which nine out of ten times they refuse to acknowledge as their fault), they can hang up and call back later because common courtesy says that it is in no way acceptable in even your wildest moronic world that you blame the person on the other side, especially when you have made the call.
Nobody loves to play deaf or make you repeat your pearls of wisdom.
If you can't have enough patience to bear up with a bad network without making the friend you've called feel responsible for it, then you should either work on your patience level, your conversation skills or self entertainment (listen to the radio instead, that way you would still yell at the RJ when the signal breaks..but who cares?! It would be just you losing your mind.)
So all those who call up their friends/family/girlfriend/spouse as a stress buster and then proceed to ruin the day for everyone by venting out their frustration on the surprised and innocent victim, please remember, you are not doing anyone a favor by working long hours and getting ass kicked by your boss or skewing up your workload..and if you think its all about you, then you deserve to be made to crawl in some dingy hole with no network coverage and never get out of there. :-|

5) 'Call waiting' is an option which is to be made use of when you know you are going to revert back within 2-3 mins max and not 2-3 hours.
Having hereby made my point, I will now proceed further.

6) When the conversation comes to the point of more than five or six "so...what else?" and "Aur batao" followed by "Nothing much. You tell me," every single time, please know that it is time to hang up.
No celestial power would help you bring up another topic to rekindle the spice in the conversation.
Its gone...finished...dead...over. Trying to flog a dead horse would make both you and the dead animal look stupid. (you get the point, don't you?)
So end the conversation politely. There is always the next one--you don't need to stress out your brain to think of everything under the sun, moon and sky only to eventually freak out the person at the other end.

7) Telling someone you'd call and then conveniently forgetting all about it is also a major turn off.If you can't/don't want to keep a commitment, don't make one. It's simple!

Also please know that when someone says 'Don't call me. Il'l call you' there is a 80% chance of not getting back in touch.So please don't huff and puff about it, or bad mouth the person---because a promise without a time frame is not a promise at all.

Both the above behaviour's are equally putting off!

8) Last but not the least, please do not talk in groups.
I have been in situations wherein I have been telephonically mobbed by the whole family, with the call on speaker and needless to say, they haven't heard from me in a long time since then. I mean just imagine, all you want is a silent peaceful conversation and the next thing you know is the entire family is asking you questions and passing on messages to some distant relative.
Seriously, you cant be that cheap. Make individual phone calls. Give the caller some time to breathe. It's not a rapid fire round and nobody is going anywhere.
Besides half the time, you don't even know who is cracking a joke on you. Somewhere in the distance you hear a cackle and keep wondering what it was for. Did you say something wrong? Did you make a fool of yourself? Is someone in the extended family commenting on your voice? Did you just sound like a confused idiot?
These group conversations surface up a lot of insecurities, I tellya.
So conversations on speaker are clearly a NO!!!

Hmmm..I guess that should be about all.
So coming to you, what is it that ticks you off most during a phone conversations?
Do feel free to contribute your 'Dial M for murder' stories/experiences (the ones in which you wished you could actually kill someone over the phone for succumbing you to sheer torture).
I would love to read you and a good laugh is always welcome around here---any day, any time, eh?

So until we meet again with turn offs list #3...

Cheers,
and keep calling! ;)

Cryptic thoughts #35

Sometimes all we want at the end of the rainbow is another rainbow to walk on.
The pot of gold would herald the end of the journey, and most of the times, that is exactly what we aren't looking for!

An ode---TO THE MAN!!!

I have been in love with you for over a decade now, not just for your voice but for the fighter spirit you had in you.
Despite having to face countless tragedies in your personal life, you emerged stronger from each one of them and kept moving on.You truly have been an inspiration.

In my lowest moments, I would find solace in your soothing voice and have often lost myself to it for hours together.

There was a phase when I thought staying away from you would be best for me---listening to you sing would make me sad.
There was this reality in your voice which tugged at my heart and refused to let go..an ache strong enough to make me reflect on my own life, throw me into the doldrums of depression.
But there was also this beautiful strength...of expression perhaps, which made me stay addicted and taught me to be a little more numb to the harshness of reality.

I have spent entire nights pondering on your words..reflecting the pain in your voice..relating to every emotion you must have felt and then promised myself that I would move on.
But morning would find me go back on my decision, and I would succumb to the temptation again.

That was the magic your heart warming voice would have on me.

If you cant get someone out of your mind then perhaps they are supposed to be there, they say.
I could never give up on you and the entire CD collection of your soulful ghazals.

And today I know and promise myself that I never will.

Your ghazals are all that I have of you, and they will stay with me for ever.

Rest In Peace, Jagjit Singh!!!

always,
your ardent admirer and die hard fan.

P.S: This post is dedicated to the renowned Ghazal Maestro, Jagjit Singh who was admitted to Lilavati Hospital on 23rd sept for brain haemorrhage, where a life saving surgery was performed on him.
His condition remained critical though, and he passed away today morning (october 10th 2011) at 8 am, leaving behind a deep void in our hearts and to the world of music.
Needless to say, he will forever be remembered and missed by innumerable fans all over the world.

'IJAAZAT'---the permission to play 'confused'...

I had once been told by a friend that Maya's character in the movie 'Ijaazat' somewhat reminded him of me when he first watched the movie.
Not too happy with that comment/compliment, I had made him watch the movie all over again and subsequently eat his words, by finding faults in all the three protagonists...sigh!

Apart from the highly complex character that Maya is, one cannot deny that it is equally fascinating.
The movie leaves you appalled at many instances..and you are confused whether she is someone who is simply crazy or too much of an idealist.
One moment you feel that she is commitment phobic and the other you find her to be a deeply passionate person who lives on love and love alone.
Sometimes you find her free spirited while there are some instances wherein the vulnerability of the character speaks volumes of her pain..her vulnerability to emotions..her inability to explain herself and her constant search of something that perhaps doesn't even exist.
Of course, there are some scenes which leave you seething with rage, like some highly dramatised emotional dialogues which she quips to an already-married and pretty much spineless Mahender.
Mahender---someone who did not have the guts to stand up for his love in front of his grandfather...
the same someone who then metamorphosed into someone who could not reciprocate his wife's love because he was stuck up over his ex (the same girl he did not take a stand for)...
Clearly, the dude was taking everyone for granted---his grandfather, his girlfriend Maya, and now his wife, Sudha.

And that brings me to Sudha, whose decision of marrying an emotionally involved guy does not cease to amaze me.
Respect for elders, financial support and seeking stability are an entirely different thing altogether.
But if she is ready to risk her married life in exchange for all these, hoping that her love for THE husband would cheer him into matrimonial bliss making him forget all about Maya, then I guess the woman is not just being manipulative but also not quite in the right state of mind.
The least she could do was wait for him to have moved on with the ex-factor, before jumping into a serious commitment.

While Maya's interference in the life of a married man is unacceptable, so is Mahender's infidel nature which he cleverly disguises with the garb of guilt (in the first part of the movie) and self-sacrifice (only to his imagination...Hah!) and needless to mention, Sudha's attempt to win the heart of an already emotionally betrothed man, without thinking about the consequences.
Nasruddin shah's acting is impeccable while Rekha has played her character with ease and obvious talent.
However, Anuradha Patel (playing 'Maya') is the one who steals the show with her charismatic and totally suited-for-the-role performance.

Adorned with the amazing music composition by R D Burman, Ijaazat remains one of Gulzar's best creations---an intriguing drama of three complex characters, the flawed lives of whom make it so close to reality.


P.S: Thinking about it, Shashi Kapoor did not quite fit in---no pre-marital affair, no extra-marital relationship, no dead girlfriend, no pestering grandfather, no guilt ridden past, no compromised marriage...nothing?

NO FAIR!

A fragmented reality

A lot of stories were brought to a halt that day...half finished.

That coffee that never happened...
The hands we never held...
That lunch that remained just a plan...
That first meeting of two interdependent souls that got postponed indefinitely...
That long awaited face to face conversation which suddenly changed course....
The hope of breathing the same familiar air that eventually brought about nothing but a solitary claustrophobia...
The resting of my head onto your shoulder which lasted only until the dream ended...
The gazing together at the setting sun that heralded the end of a relationship before it could even see the real light of day...
The half-apologetic-half-bitter promise to meet--very soon...knowing deep in our hearts that it was just another contorted truth...
A lot of stories were brought to a halt that day...half finished.

Even today, I sometimes wonder---could things have gone any different?